Crystal Flowers
by NekomimiToree
Summary: Crystal Flowers. Mama? Cold? Snow? Let go of me? The faint awakening. Gifts of water, light, darkness. Your insistence. My unspoken words. Our forbidden feelings. "You'll forget about it." "Remember that, will you?" Shui Jing Hua. The End.
1. Part One

_**Synopsis:** Crystal Flowers. The water crashing into the curve of the beach. The sharp blade. A grip, wrapped in a smooth metal net, colored white and clear. At the end is a six pointed crystal, where all the water drops and freezes. This is me._

* * *

**A/N:** Many thanks to marco2050 and my friends for beta-reading this story and making it possible. I can never thank all of you enough for your help, even when I'm being lazy in the past three months. Your patience and virtue will forever be remembered in my heart.

Ok, everyone, enjoy this story, and Happy Early Halloween!

* * *

Excerpt from Finding What's Lost:

**_Speakers from various points of the city screech into life. "Citizens, we have a special announcement. Due to the discovery of pollutants in the air, an earlier than usual monthly check will be made. All citizens are requested to stay indoors until the check up is complete or otherwise face detention." Within the city of Cnorion, several youngsters, who enjoying staying up late, cried in dismay as their fun ended abruptly._**

**_Cnorion was always a busy city. Day and night, it all didn't matter because the people are bored. And when they are bored, they tend to occupy themselves with whatever they can. Why are they bored? It's quite simple. Ever since that day, eight years ago, when the world changed, they haven't been outside the shielded boundaries of Cnorion. And those who left were released into liberated areas._**

**_Or so they thought._**

**_Eight years ago, the citizens were made to believe a GM war happened, when the two fractions, GM Core and GM Elite, couldn't agree on a single term, therefore sparking a conflict that rendered the outside world 'incapable of maintaining life any further'. But among these brainwashed specimens, one of them rejected the aerial drug dispersed when ever there was a 'monthly check'. So he waited on the outskirts of town without crossing over to the forbidden territory._**

**_Then rolling can be heard in the artificial sky._**

**_-Maple Story: Finding What's Lost_**

* * *

_Extraction 15 percent complete_

_ "Will she be ok?"_

_ "I don't know. When they sent her, she was pretty battered up."_

_ "What? If we don't save her—"_

_ "Relax, no use panicking before it actually happens. People strive towards life, like it or not. She's built to survive."_

_

* * *

_

I lay my fingers over the transparent orange force field, feeling the electrical sting on my fingers. Glancing over my shoulder a second time, I notice the structures of Cnorion. Cnorion is a vast city built as a safe shell for refugees. The outer layers of the skyscrapers are made from pure metal alloy coated with a dull green paint to resist rust. On the inside are living compartments, painted pure white with one or two windows. A sign somewhere down the road says in big red letters: Do not cross. Stay away from the force field.

Whatever.

Taking a deep breath, I dive my hand into the force field. It tingles like soda candy popping on your tongue, but the fabric of the field is as cool and soft as plastic. I stick my fingers in a little further, then my palms, and finally a whole hand. Then I stop. The invisible hand in the force field was trying to pull me back.

There is no use trying to arm wrestle with it, because it will always win and break your wrist. But there is a strategy to beat it. First you have to pull your hand out, leaving a hole in the force field where your hand was. Then it would try to repair the gap, and that's when the arm is weakest. You have to quickly punch the arm out of the way, and grab whatever is in the other side before you get stuck.

It was not fun if you get stuck in the force field. In the news, a trouble maker named Billy tried to break the rules. Next thing you know, a group of Officials found him, sawed his hand off and gave him a whole year of detention. After that I can never get over the nightmares I have about getting stuck. The fact that I didn't fail over the past year wasn't reassuring at all.

No one in this city actually likes the force field. Sure, it protects us from the outside fumes and all those nasty things. But if you turn it around and look at it differently, this is a prison. It traps people inside so they can't escape. Before I came here, there was a famous case involving the barrier. One citizen, whose name I forgot, expressed his discontent with the ways things are. The trial was short and in the end, he was dumped into the wastelands by the Officials. That was when the signs near the barrier started to pop up, I heard.

Anyways.

I take a deep breath, and clench both of my hands into a fist. Swiftly, I remove my hand and punch straight through the arm with the other. The barrier pops with a soft splat, like a series of popping bubbles. A coldness sweep into my fingers as it land on the rough surfaces of the Outside. I manage to stag some of it before the barrier collapse around my hand. Taking a moment for my hand to un-numb itself, I drop the cold stuff on the metal ground and examine it.

It comes in two different colors. White, like the uniform everyone in Cnorion has to wear, and clear, sort of like the force field but more like plastic. You can never see the cold stuff in Cnorion. It is something that only exists in the Outside. This is how the Outside looks like, I think. White and cool, like my room in the morning. I look hard at the force field, trying to make sense of the Outside. But even if the barrier is clear, the Outside always seems so dark. And Cnorion always is so bright.

For as long as I can remember, back when I was ten, I always thought the Outside is bright, if not brighter than Cnorion. Because there is the sun, and it tries so hard to illuminate the city through the force field. I understand the barrier is clear like glass, but even glass casts a shadow. And if you look closely, there are dark spots in the force field. But it turns out the world is very dark on the Outside. When I was about twelve, I started to fool around with the barrier. Then, just last year, I broke through it and took a glimpse of the darkness. There was lots of cold stuff, but for some reason it is black on the Outside, but white in Cnorion.

Everyday, I experiment with the cold stuff to learn more about it. It is a lot like ice because they both turn into a clear liquid when it is warmed up. Actually, I think it is ice, but it's just that it is Outside ice and not Cnorion ice. Cnorion ice tastes a little bitter. Probably from the stuff they put in it to clean it. But Outside ice tastes clean. Like toothpaste. When you put it in your mouth, it has a minty fresh feeling that starts your day clean. I only tried Outside ice once though. Because the next day, I had a bad cold, and I wasn't able to come up here like I usually do.

If I remember correctly, I came to Cnorion when I was ten. I don't have any memories of those ten years though, except for my name. Shui Jing Hua. The tongue I use to utter my name is so different from the language I was taught. My name sounds refreshing and clear when I say it, but bumpy and metallic when someone else does. I thought my speech might give me a clue about my homeland, but no one, not even Officials, have an idea as to where those words come from. Because of that, I don't know who I was or who my family was.

For as long as I remember, I was an orphan in Cnorion.

Most of the time, whenever I needed help, I have to work it out alone. I don't have friends at all. The closest I'll get to friendship is Jason, an acquaintance. The rest are just people I spend time with. I know I am the quietest student in class and people call it a problem. But how can you call it a problem if you have nothing to talk about? If you want me to say something, tell me what it is, or I can't answer.

People with family talks about so much useless stuff like food and music. And then they expect you to continue the conversation with even more useless stuff like games and boys. It's driving me crazy! The only person I feel comfortable around is Jason. He's an orphan too, so we both don't talk and we're cool with it. But I never ask him for help. I fear that if I do, I would start being like the other people. Being a quiet observer is better than being part of their world.

"Shui Jing," Jason calls from beyond the path. His tennis shoes pound against the metallic ground. I immediately put my finger over my lips and he slows down. "Sorry. Did you get some cold stuff to show me?" Opening my hand, I lift the icy material close to his face. He breathes on it, sending freezing air into my cheeks. For a while, he stares skeptically, bending his lip and lifting his eyebrows, before finally feeling cold stuff for the first time. His fingers quickly retracts when he touch the icy material. "That's it? It's just ice."

"It's not ice! How can you call it that? It's something from the Outside! It's a lot different than Cnorion ice," I protest.

"I don't really see—" Jason begins but is interrupted by a loud screech. The speakers spring into life, with a familiar weekly message. It always says something like "A new place is cleaned, blah blah blah, and these people will be released blah blah blah." I could really care less about going to the Outside. I remained hopeful because Jason never phased from this wish. But that's all in the past now, because with six years gone by, it becomes apparent that only adults get to leave. And once all the adults take all the land, we'll be kept here for life. Jason still listens futilely to the names though, hoping to find out a pattern.

"Citizens of Cnorion, we have an announcement to make. Due to our efforts, a new area has been liberated. The lucky people who will be released are…."

* * *

_Extraction 18 percent complete_

_ "How's her condition?"_

_ "It's still in critical. I don't think she is going to make it."_

_ "God dammit, how many times have I told you to relax? Everything is going to be fine. She's been in critical for so long! Do you ever wonder why?"_

_ "Um…I don't know. She should've been dead…according to these numbers."_

_ "But yet she is still alive! She's gripping onto life as hard as she can. So we might as well not give up too."_

_

* * *

_

I look out at the rainstorm outside. It's not an Outside rain, though. Every month, Cnorion would rain, and the water would clean the air and the buildings, washing away all the pollution that went in through the holes in the force field. I always wonder. If cold stuff can turn into water, can't rain turn into cold stuff? It would be nice if the cold stuff were raining. But I guess since the water is different, so will the cold stuff.

Hey, I got an idea! I begin drawing the middle, shaping a curve. On the upper portion of the curve, I design a squiggly pattern, the "water" crashing into the curve of the "beach". This would be the sharp blade. The middle of the curve is the grip, as well as the bottom portion, wrapped in a smooth metal net, colored white and clear like the cold stuff. At the end of the bottom is a six pointed crystal, where all the "water" drops and freezes into the cold stuff.

"Are you drawing bows again?" Jason snaps me out of my trance. Usually, during rains, you are not supposed to invite people into your room. At first I did want Jason to get out, because we'll both be sent to the wastelands. But he promised to not get caught and I eventually let go. I'm very grateful to have him here with me during rainy days.

"Yeah." Jason walks over and inspects the work. I love designing bows. They are by far the best weapon. It's easy to use, light, and can have a variety of gimmicks. You can curve it for accuracy, straighten it for speed, add a blade for a melee option, and put anything you want on it, creating a beautiful weapon.

"Whoa, this is so cool! Hey! Can you design me a sword that looks like that? But make it red!"

"Red? Red water?" Red cold stuff. The image of blood pops into my head. I remember getting a cut the first time I received archery lessons. The bow was faulty, so when I released the arrow, it scraped my hand and broke the finger bone. I had to skip lessons for weeks. But during that time I started to draw bows and add my own things to it. By now, I have a whole gallery stashed under my bed.

"Yeah! It would be like the ocean in the sunset!"

"But you don't even remember seeing the sunset over an ocean."

"I know. You have a good imagination though, right? It'll be just like Cnorion during sunset. Everything would be red and yellow like a bonfire, so the water would look like it is burning. Just imagine that!"

"Um…" I think about it for a moment. Well, first the water is clear, that's for sure. But how will it look when it is the sunset? Should I color it red, orange, or yellow? As I try to imagine the picture, the speakers spark into life again.

"Citizens of Cnorion," the speaker says, "we have an announcement to make. Due to our efforts, a new area has been liberated. The lucky people who will be released are…." she read off the names one by one while I continue to finish the drawing. Jason, of course, occupies himself with listening closely to the names. I doodle around, adding shades where appropriate so it'll appear real and three dimensional. It's great and I like it. But there needs to be one more thing… I know I'm missing something.

As I think, the lady continues to reads off the names. "…Shui Jing Hua, Jason Cerge…"

* * *

_Extraction 19 percent complete_

_ "She is finally out of critical. Phew."_

_ "I told you, as long as you relax, everything will be alright. Now all we need to do is keep watch and she'll awake soon."_

_ "I sure hope so. I can't take any more suspense."_

_ "Ack. I told you! Nothing will go wrong! As long as I'm here, not even the reaper can take away her life."_

_

* * *

_

I look around the room they place me in. It's white, with a white table, and two white chairs. Everything blends in so completely, you wouldn't even notice the table if not for the shadow it casts over the floor. "You must be Shui Jing." The door closes behind me, leaving only me and him inside the white room. He's a tall man—much taller than the tallest guy I've seen—wearing a strange combo of a beanie and sunglasses along with a thick white coat. Emblazed on the top of the sleeve is the symbol of Cnorion.

"Cold stuff," I gasp, seeing piles of piles of the cold, white substance sitting on the shoulders of his overcoat and his beanie. Never before have I seen so much of it in one place. Where in the world did he get all that?

"Hmm? You're talking about this?" He points to the small bit on his shoulders and I nod. "Ahh, you've never seen snow, I forgot." The man brushes as much snow onto the table as possible, and I begin examining it with my fingers. "Did I ever tell you I easily forget things? I'm very busy." He chuckles amusingly, and I look up to see him sitting on the chair opposite of mine.

"My name is Leol Anderson, nice to meet you." Leol sticks his big mitten out, about twice the size of my palms. I take it and feel the cold stuff on it. Some of it was melted into the cloth, leaving a cool wet stain. "Do you like snow?" I nod again. "Are you deaf? Say something. Yes or no?"

"Yes."

"Do you want to see a whole field of endless snow?" My ears perk up. Endless snow? Really? I can barely imagine a handful of it, but an endless amount? How can that even be possible? He notices me wondering and says, "Let's go. I'll show you…. But you are going to need warmer clothing than that. A thicker coat should do." Then a door opens, and a lady brings in the coat. "Thank you beautiful."

"You're welcome." I can tell from her voice she is the lady who makes those annoying weekly announcements in Cnorion. "Um…is there anything else I can do for you?" Her lips quiver and her face glows red like a tomato.

"We're fine for now. You're excused."

"Um…yes sir!"

"Ok, Shui Jing, let's go." He extends a hand out, and I feel the wetness again, except this time, it feels really cold. I've been playing with the snow for too long.

* * *

_Extraction 20 percent complete_

_ "Would you look at that."_

_ "What? What's wrong? Don't tell me she's in critical again."_

_ "No. Look closely in the tank. She's smiling."_

_ "Smiling? That's not a smile. It's a muscle spasm from being in there for too long."_

_ "No, she is definitely smiling. This is how she smiles."_

_

* * *

_

"Cold stuff!" I run into the snow when he opens the door. All over! All around the place! It is full of cold stuff! Cold stuff everywhere! I take handfuls of it and throw it in the air, feeling it flutter downwards into my hand. It's so comfortable and cool like a cold breeze in the heat of summer. "I can't believe it! Look at all the snow! And…" I look straight into the sky, where even more snow is raining downwards. Some of it is perfect round like your eye, but others were shaped like a crystal. And each one of them looks so different from one another.

I knew it. Cold stuff does fall from the sky like rain.

"Snowflakes. No two of them ever look the same. This one you are holding is special, one of a kind," Leol explains. He opens his mouth and let a piece of snow fall into his tongue.

"No! You can't eat that! Outside snow would make you sick!"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"I tried some outside snow before and…" No. I can't let him know I was fooling around with the force field.

"And…?"

"Um…never mind, forget I said anything."

"No, this is important, you have to tell me. What's so bad about eating snow? Tell Leol, please. Shui Jing." He bends his legs into a kneeling position until we're face to face with each other.

"Well…" I try to think of a way to say it so he wouldn't know. But nothing comes into mind, and he begins to look very suspicious. Feeling a bit scared, I spill the bean to him. "I took some in my mouth when it was hot and then I got a cold. It was only a little bit so the toxin didn't hurt me too bad."

"Is that so?" He laughs, opening his mouth so big that spit lands on my cheeks. Ew. I wipe my face while he picks a whole handful of snow and eats it.

"No!"

"It's fine. I'm big and strong, so nothing can ever hurt me." Leol smiles at me, and I try my best to smile back, but whenever I try to smile, it's always so small. Jason says I have a scary smile. Well, Jason smiles like a weird, crazy guy, so it's even between us. "Do you know? Snow is the purest form of water in the world. Because when the sun takes it, all the dirty things are removed. In a warmer place, snow turns into rain water, but they can absorb toxins in the air. But snow never absorbs the toxins. Ice is the stainless form of water." He stands up, and put on his shades. "Isn't that right, Shirley?"

"Leol, my name isn't Shirley."

"I'm not talking to you. Come out, Shirley Leblanc!" A head pops up from the snow and I shriek and try to get behind Leol. The head rises up, showing a white coat, the same one I'm wearing. Soon, a whole person is standing where the head was, her flowing brown hair full of cold stuff. "You aren't supposed to be here during this time."

"I'm so sorry, Mr. Anderson. I'll go back quickly." She advert her eyes to the left and quickly scurries away.

"Hey, Shui Jing. Watch this." Leol whispers in my ears before picking up another handful of snow. He quickly packs and shapes it into a ball with his mittens. Then he hurls it towards Shirley, hitting her right into the head with more accuracy than the best archer I've seen.

"What? Who did that?" Leol goes into a laughing fit, holding his stomach and forehead. I find my cheeks muscles stretches up too, until I can't hold it and let out a chuckle. Another ball smack Leol in the face, the snow getting into his eyes, nose, and mouth. It's Shirley turn to laugh now as she picks up another ball and throws it. Leol tries to run, but his large build is too easy a target to miss.

"Hey, kid! Help me out here! I'm being smoked!" I smile at his invitation before picking up a pile of snow. While Shirley is distracted, I fling the ball through the air.

* * *

_Extraction 21 percent complete_

_ "Here, see. This is how she smiles. I told you so."_

_ "Huh? Why do you have a picture of the both of you?"_

_ "Why not?"_

_ "She is after all—"_

_ "Hey! Don't say that about her! It doesn't matter who she is! She is still a living thing! I treat her like she is my own daughter!"_

_ "Yeah, the both of you do look like father and daughter, a little."_

_ "No, that's not right. My daughter doesn't look anything like her. I have pictures of my family on my laptop, want to see them?"_

_

* * *

_

"That was fun! High five!" Leol raises his palms until it's level to my head. I tilt my head sideways at the gesture, looking closely at the bits of snow stuck on the mitten. "Don't tell me you've never seen a high five before? You're supposed to clap it, you know?" I stare at my palms, red and white from the snow play, then at Leol's hand. Slowly, I bring my hand up and smack it on his mitten. The fabric's bumpy and wet from overuse, but there is still slight heat from under it. "There. How hard was that?" He pats my shoulder and I wince away, closing the distance to the corner of the hallway.

It's a strange place. There are blue walls instead of white. Something like this is unheard of. There is paint in Cnorion, but painting your room is strictly forbidden. You are allowed to write on it, as long as you erase it. But painting it would give you a week in a detention center. I don't know why a rule like that exists. My guess is people really like white in Cnorion.

"Can I call you squirt?" I nod my head. "What are you thinking squirt?"

"Nothing." I whisper.

"Hmm? What? Speak up. I know you're louder than that."

"Nothing." I repeat again, louder, but still very quiet.

"We're going to have to work on your speech." He rubs his temple with his hand, thinking. After a moment of silence, he reach into his coat pocket and takes out an index card. "So, squirt. How do you like Cnorion?" I hesitate on the question for a little. It never crossed my mind that I have to be questioned after breaking free of Cnorion. Why would they do that? Is it because they know I broke one or two rules?

I look at Leol for answers, but it's hard to see his eyes with his shades. All I can see on him is an eager smile and a runny nose. He shifts slightly forward from his seat, pushing me into the corner. "It's ok." I mumble, stressing my voice a little more.

In a moment like this, I really, truly wished Jason would be here. He would sit between me and Leol and answer everything for me. Or at least, if he's as nervous as I am, I would be able to say everything for him. Words would flow out easier for the both of us, because we can always back up each other.

"It's ok? Aww, come on. I need to know more than that. Don't treat me like a stranger. What else is there in Cnorion? What do you like? What don't you like? You got friends you talk to?" I simply look at him blankly, hoping he'll back off with the questions since I'm not going to say anything. If anything, one word might get me and Jason into trouble. "Geez. I give up. I'm not paid to do this." He shoves the note card back into his pocket. "If there's one thing I learned, it's that you're not much of a talker, squirt. Want to hear a joke instead?" Silence. Without my permission he starts himself.

"Pi and i are best friends, but they are having an argument. i was yelling 'Why can't you be rational?' and Pi returned with 'Get real!'" At the last two words he puts his arms in the air with an exaggerated gap in his mouth. I keep myself quiet and look around the room instead. Lips curling up and cheeks reddening to a flush of blood, he lets his arms down. The disappointment in his expression makes me want to laugh, but I hold back knowing it'll make things worse. "You don't get it. Do you, huh?"

He starts explaining the source of his joke. He starts on about circumferences and circles, and then about some weird squiggle and negative numbers. As he talks, I realize, I'm getting everything. I actually understand everything he's talking about even though I've never even heard of terms like this. When he's finally done explaining the i, I can't help but chuckle a little. I don't think it's from the joke, but more from how weird Leol is. He sounds smart, but in actuality, he's a little stupid.

While laughing, I nearly miss the announcer lady walking towards us. Her shoes remind me of the rainstorm right before exiting Cnorion. They both sounds a lot like hands clapping together. The lady focuses her eyes on Leol and gives him a pile of papers. Leol gives her a small thank you and she moves along. He flips through the papers and fixes his shades every now and then.

"Now I see why you're so quiet," he starts, "Over six hundred counts of going off border. You're a pretty bad girl." I flinch at his last two words. How did anyone find out I went off the border? I know Jason wouldn't say anything, the same way I wouldn't say anything. From Leol's frown, I can tell he isn't expecting me to react this way. "Don't worry. Squirt. We wouldn't put you in detention. I would just like to learn a little more about you, that's all."

"Why do you still need to know if I'm in trouble," I blurt out. If not detention, they might just throw me out somewhere else in the wastelands.

"Glad you're not deaf, squirt." He forces a smile on his face. "I'm not supposed to let you know this, but I have to gather information about you to make sure you are eligible to be outside."

"Eligible? Don't you just dump some people out once somewhere is cleaned?"

"Oh no. That's too simple. It's hard to explain, and a lot of things are confidential. Let's just say you are not in trouble of any kind as long as you answer me truthfully, ok?" I think about his offer for a moment.

"Take off those sun glasses." Leol twists his lips as if wondering what I'm up to. In his head, he's weighing the pros and cons before finally removing them. I gasp at his perfect eyes—a deep sapphire color that glow against his pale skin. Compared to the way I look, I feel like nothing. He waves a hand in front of me, bringing me back. I spot a silver and diamond ring on his ungloved hand; it's a sign saying he's married. But to who? "Ok, I'll answer you, on the condition that you answer my questions too."

"I don't see why not. Let's begin. How do you like Cnorion and why?"

"I hate Cnorion, actually," I begin quietly, observing any changes in his eyes. So far, I see he's not reacting in a particular way. He nods and smiles like usual. This probably isn't the first time someone told him that. "I don't really know why. Cnorion is one of those things you just hate. How do you like living in the Outside and why?"

"I haven't been out much, but I have to say, it's a lot better than Cnorion. I think the reason you hate Cnorion is because of oppression. I theorized that people would naturally feel discomfort within a burdened environment regardless of their concept of freedom. What do you think?"

"I don't know. I'm no expert. Can you describe the Outside?"

"Right you are. The Outside is very vast. There are a lot of things on the Outside. Endless deserts, overgrown trees, volcanoes, and the ocean. You probably don't know what I'm even talking about. I can show you someday. Are you fascinated with the Outside?"

"I don't know yet. Is there snow everywhere on the outside?"

"Not really. It snows only in the winter in some places. But I'm guessing you don't even know what winter means. Damn weather control system. Ok, back to topic. Do you have any friends in Cnorion?" Jason comes into mind then, but he's only an acquaintance, and I wouldn't mention him anyway. Then again, if they know I was fooling around with the force field, they might know about Jason going into my room. But how?

"Jason. Are you married?"

"Yeah, I am married. Jason Cerge is your friend. I see he sneaks into your room quite often. What do you both do?"

"We talk sometimes, and sometimes read, and draw. Is the announcer lady your wife?" Leol gives me a confused glare. "The one that gave you those papers just now."

"Oh, her. No. What made you think that?"

"She acts strange around you. Is she always strange?"

"I don't think she's strange. You're over thinking her." He stands up. "Ok, I think we're done here, with all the Q and A. I'm ready to send you."

"No not yet. I need to know how you figure out I was breaking the rules."

"Oh that. We'll talk about it another day, alright? For now, it's my priority to prepare you for a trip."

"Trip? To where?"

"To wherever you are released to."

* * *

_Extraction 23 percent complete_

_ "Wow, that's your daughter? She looks beautiful!"_

_ "A whore, I know. I really have no control over her, going to nightclubs all the time. It's a matter of when she'll get pregnant and I'll have to fix the mess. Do you plan to marry someone?"_

_ "Of course! Actually I like that girl that dresses up in green."_

_ "Her? She's the President of Cnorion. Trust me, you wouldn't want her."_

_ "What's wrong with her?"_

_ "First, she's way out of your league. Two, she's too pretty. Your daughter will get guys preying over her. You don't want to flip a coin for a son. Science is one thing, luck is another."_

_

* * *

_

I wake up early morning to a loud, audible banging against my door. For the first time since yesterday, I finally got a good look at my room and noticed one thing. It's the exact replica as my room in Cnorion. White as snow. Last night, when I closed my eyes right in spot, Leol told me I could move the furniture around. It's a direct breaking of the rules, so I didn't care. But I now see why he suggested it. I really hated Cnorion. I thought it could be different here. Then again, it's too early to make a judgment. Or maybe I shouldn't hope for too much.

The knocking becomes unbearably loud, and I finally yell for it to stop as I scramble to the door. What I see next is a pair of ponytails hanging on the back, similar to bunny ears. She introduces herself with an edge of authority in her voice. Sarah. I take note to remember the name as she leads me on my daily schedule. Wash my face, brush my teeth, breakfast, classes, lunch, classes again, after class activities, dinner, homework, free time, sleep. It's nearly the same as Cnorion, except much more blocked.

Yesterday's conversation with Leol returns and I find my trust to him and my enthusiasm to be outside plummeting as a roller coaster. Groggily, I dress up in my uniform and follow Sarah to the cafeteria. In line, I take whatever she takes—milk, oats, and a blueberry muffin. It's strange how I always copy the person in front of me, but if I think further, if I didn't do that, I would never be able to choose alone.

I continue to follow Sarah to the tables, finding many people my age grouped together and chatting more than eating. Sarah finds her own place to sit near the middle of the room, and that's when I decide to stop tagging her. These people, they are all similar to the children in Cnorion—they only know about their petty conversational topics and useless gossip.

I hear a call from a table, and a girl starts to wave her hand in the air. Looking left and right for the person she's motioning, it dawns to me when I realize the person she's calling is me. There's an empty table close to me, where I can just eat in peace and quiet. Judging the choices before me, I choose the empty table. People can talk about me being a loner or quiet all they want. I'm more than used to talks about me. A second after I sit down, there are steps across my seat.

"Hi, can I join you," he asks. After realizing I wouldn't answer, he shrugs and pulls the chair, setting his meal in front of me. "I'm Edward. What's your name?" I nearly choke on my muffin when he asked the question.

"Shui Jing," I answer reluctantly, knowing where this conversation is going. He's going to talk about his life here, maybe even his girlfriend, if he has one, and then expect me to talk back. And he wouldn't even be the least bit enjoyable to talk to either. When I don't talk back, he'll crack a joke or two to cheer me up. Except, unlike Leol, it wouldn't be funny. He's too immature to be funny.

"Say that again?"

"Shui Jing," I repeat slowly so he could make out the pronunciation.

"Shui Jing. Did I say it right?" I nod.

"So how's you're first day here?" Looking into his eyes, I see him expecting me to answer. Just like I thought. I stay silent while scooping oats into my mouth, pretending I'm too stuffed to talk. When I finish with breakfast, someone else comes over, her eyes examining me. Before she sits down, I scoop my tray, and follow a few others to the window where you drop the tray off.

During classes, I catch people mumbling rumors about me and pretend not to notice. Again, it's not that I can't stand it, but it really irks me how people can talk pointless subjects about a complete stranger. Didn't I make it clear to them that I don't want them to have anything to do with me?

I spend the class looking at books about Outside. And after that I watch the clock for class to end.

After class ends, activities begin. I follow the students until reaching a wide play ground, the size of several football fields put together. Parts of the area are covered in thick, tall grass with vines overgrowth creating a sort of fencing, and the rest are an arrangement of rocks, bumpy dirt roads, and fluffy clouds. It's the first time I realize, this school is in the sky. But I'm less amazed and more disappointed because of how the day turned out to be.

Edward starts playing ball with a red head boy, tossing it to each other on the clouds. Sarah and the other girl in the cafeteria jump ropes along the grass, reciting nursery rhymes with each skip and hop.

It's something else that I don't get about people. They probably play the same thing over and over for days, weeks, months, and years even, and find it exciting every single time. What's the point of repeatedly throwing a regular ball to one another? Or jumping around all day until your feet hurts and your lungs are out of breath? If it was up to me, I would get my bow and practice my shot all day. At least that can train you to protect yourself against monsters.

I find a bench to sit on and pass my day. If I were back in Cnorion, what would I do now? Sneak to the force field. Get some snow. Examine it with my senses. Somehow, I feel more confined here than in Cnorion. Out on the edge of this island, the land and the clouds would end, and the only way to Outside is to fly.

"Why so lonely," Leol says, creeping into the seat. He must notice my surprise because he says, "I was bringing someone else from Cnorion, and I decided to drop by and say hi."

"Oh," I reply. All of a sudden, I feel a tingle over my body, and my mouth speaks by itself. "Are you bringing Jason?" He fixes his shades and twists his lips slightly.

"How about you answer my question first? I find it very disrespectful." I calm a little remind myself of his question. _Why so lonely?_ How would you know? When you tell people about you, they keep asking for more and more because of their nosiness. Then there would be no stopping them from talking about you and wasting time with pointless conversations. "Didn't you meet any friends?"

"No."

"Why not? They are all nice kids. They don't bite, squirt." I stare to make sure he's not joking.

"Isn't it time you answer my question?"

"You are one hell of a no-nonsense girl, I see. Yeah, I brought Jason. But he wanted it to be a surprise. Try to act a little surprised, even thought I know it's hard for you." I nod in approval. "Since I kind of like you, squirt, I'll be honest with you. I have to get feedback from you about your progress here. Basically, if you don't start making friends, we could send you elsewhere."

"That's fine."

"What? How is that fine? This is the Outside you've wanted to see for so long. We could send you back to Cnorion, you know." I chuckle sarcastically.

"Look at this place. You call this Outside? Where's the desert? Trees? Volcano? Mountains? I looked up all those words, and found that all I have is this. Some dirt, some grass, and some rocks. This is just like some playground in Cnorion, except bigger." His lips open to refute my words, but closes before he says anything. For a moment a smile spread over his lips. Why?

"I bet you would like here better once Jason joins you." I react in surprise but I don't know why. It's like my body and my lips just moved, like a response to pain. Thinking of ways I can bounce it back at him, I realize, it's impossible. Because Leol spoke the truth. It would be better. Not just a little better. A lot better. At the first thought of him, I nearly jumped and then wished it was him transferring over here. I realize, even though we don't converse often, his mere presence holds the both of us together. Spending time in class wouldn't be so much of a chore, I would be able to fend off those prying students, and the world would be colorful for the both of us.

It hurts to know that I actually prefer to be with Jason. And it hurts even more to realize you don't miss someone until you actually lose him.

"Ok, fine. I'll stay. But you have to make this easier for me. I don't want anything personal to do with those nosy foxes." Leol laughs.

"You might change you mind later. Friendship with people can have beautiful effects on someone." I doubt it. "I think I finally get it now. You have a hard time making friends, don't you, squirt? And it's because you think they are bothering you."

"They are," I pause. I've never really told anyone about this besides Jason. But I feel safe telling Leol. Maybe it's his looks, or his attitude. I can't put a finger on it, but it's a cross between idiocy and pure genius. "They keep asking me all these things I'm not even interested in answer. And they talk so much junk; it's enough to fill a wasteland."

"What do they exactly ask you?"

"My name. My first day? What I feel about my teachers. And then they talk about me behind their backs and thinks I can't hear them."

"How about back then? You were quiet to me yesterday. But now we're talking, right? You've made friends with me." I think back to yesterday. A different time. Under different circumstances. But, I guess, I did made friends with him. Whatever it means to be a friend. "You know. When I saw you today, I knew something was different. You're a bit bitter and lonely."

"Bitter?"

"Of course. Do you really think that when people talk to each other, it is trash? People converse to know and understand each other. Because at that moment, they care about you. Doesn't it feel good to have someone care about you?" I think about it, and it dawns to me how true his words are.

"Is this one of your theories?"

"It's something I believe from the bottom of my heart."

"Ok, so, if I am to stay, all I need is to make some friends, right? What do I have to do?" I pretend to sigh to hide my excitement. And nervousness.

"You see those two playing catch. Just go up to them, and ask to join in."

"What if they don't want me to join in?"

"Then I'll be sure to give them a piece of my mind." I feel reassure for a moment, but the feeling dies down as quickly as it starts. And the nervousness returns stronger then ever. But for Leol and Jason and me, I have to do this. Ok. Shui Jing, just calm down and ask. Why am I so nervous? They are perfect strangers to me. "Go on." I growl at Leol and trek up to Edward. He holds the ball in his hand and gleams at me. What is he thinking?

"Can I play," I ask softly.

"Sure, but are you any good at throwing and catching," Edward responds, lightly handing the ball over to me. "Do your best." I roll the object in my hand like it's a twisted piece of metal. This is more or less my first time touching a ball, let alone throwing it. I feel Leol's piercing glaze on my back. Summoning as much force I can, I let go of the ball and it flies through the air. The red head's arms aren't long enough to reach for the ball. "Wow. That's amazing. I wonder how good you are at catching."

I feel a blush coming as the red head gather the ball and glares at me, half amazing and half vengeful. He bites down on his lower lips and heaves the ball like a pea, sending it over the vines. It rolls and rolls until stopping on a cloud. Before Edward can, I go for the ball, carefully stepping on the white cumulus. But it's actually very solid and very safe.

When I reach for the ball, I feel a sudden tug around my body, twisting me around until I stare into the metallic gray eyes. He pushes me forward as he tilts downwards. The next thing I see is Edward, falling off the cloud and landing onto a piece of earth twenty feet below.

* * *

_Extraction 30 percent complete…GLITCH…GLITCH_

_ "Glitch? What does that mean?"_

_ "Hey, hey. Calm yourself down. Deeps breaths. She's going to be alright."_

_ "How can you be so sure?"_

_ "She wouldn't give up, that's why. Now help me find the problem, alright."_

_ "I hope this doesn't affect her mind."_

_ "Like I said. Chill out. The data is safe."_

_

* * *

_

"Are you excited about picture day?"

"Please don't remind me. I've been dreading this since last week."

"Why?"

"Don't you know? She has a scary smile. I remember back in fifth grade, there was a bunny and it wouldn't let Shui Jing pet her."

"What really?"

"Don't listen to Jason. I think Shui Jing has a wonderful smile. Isn't that right, Mae?"

"Actually, now that Jason brought it up, I've never seen Shui Jing smile."

"Pass the ketchup, please."

"Here you go."

"You know, I've never seen you smile either. What's wrong, Ryan?"

"Shut up. I smile. You just don't notice it, that's all. If there is someone here who can't smile, it's Sonata."

"Smile? I don't even remember his voice. I think the last time he talked was when he said his name during class."

"What do you suppose he does with his free time? I never see him during activities."

"Oh I know! I saw him practicing his sword behind those giant rocks near the grassy field."

"Of course you would know that, Mae. You little stalker. Who else do you prey?"

"Hey! Who are you calling a stalker?"

"Guys. I think we should stop. Look. Shui Jing doesn't like it when we talk about things like this."

"No, it's alright. Guys. Actually, I'm sorry about the other day for screaming out during dinner about your topics. Leol was right to call me too biased. You guys can continue talking. I'm alright with anything really."

"Well um…"

"Pepper, please."

"Here you go."

"Mmm, you know what. This silence is bothering me. Why don't I start things off? What are everybody's dreams?"

"Whoa, Ryan! I think you've been eating too much ketchup!"

"I'm serious. I've been thinking a lot lately about what people want to be after they graduate."

"Are you asking because you can't decide for yourself?"

"I go with the flow. How about you, Teresa?"

"Um…well for now I really want to plant a garden. Full of fresh vegetables. And a coffee house right next to it. It could be a secret base of operations in disguise."

"A coffee house? Really? If that really happens, I want to be part of that."

"Of course, Edward, of course. I much rather spend my time studying further and honing my skills. That's why we're being trained after all."

"That's boring. How about Mae?"

"Mmm, how about undecided? I think I would go for coffee shop."

"Boring. Jason, you better not repeat the shop thing."

"I'll go with the flow for now, just like you. But one day I want to be a really strong person."

"That's a bit prideful for you, Jason."

"There are many things I want to protect, that's all. And there are many things I want to know and only strong people can discover them."

"Archaeology? High five! That's my friend, Jason. How about Shui Jing? What is your dream?"

"My dream? Well. I don't know. But no matter what, I want things to remain the way they are. You are all my friends, so I want things to remain that way forever. This is kind of like a true home to me."

"Nothing can remain the same forever." Ryan says before standing up and bringing his tray with him. I find Mae and Kyra glancing past me, and out of curiosity, I turn back and Leol's walking towards me with a shopping bag in hand. He's smiling at me when dragging a nearby chair next to me. From his stare, I can tell he has a present for me. I would recognize the dazzle in his eyes even if concealed in sunglasses.

"Hello everyone. Hello squirt," Leol says. "So I heard it's going to be picture day with you and all your friends. I went ahead and got you this." He gives the bag to me. From the weight of the bag and the tuff of tissue inside, it's probably a dress for picture day. I can't believe he would do something so highly unnecessary for me. Everything he's done up to now, has been more than I can ever hope for. I can't even start to thank him for bringing me here and introducing me to this new home, and I have to add this to the list of things I need to repay.

I take a deep breath. Before plunging in, I glance around to see everyone else focused on me. Except for Sonata. He's eating like nothing in the world is happening.

"Aren't you going to look at it," Mae begs, almost sounding like a puppy. I dig my hand inside and feel the square edges of a box. Lifting my arm up, I show everyone the baseball, carefully protected by tissue paper.

* * *

_Extraction 37 percent complete_

_ "There, you see. Everything's fine."_

_ "Phew."_

_ "Hey, want to hear a pizza joke?"_

_ "Sure, ok."_

_ "Naw, it's too cheesy! Get it?"_

_ "Haha!"_

_ "I see you are still up to your lame jokes, Leol."_

_ "Commander Yang!"_

_ "How's the status on her? The president requests an answer."_

_ "Thirty-seven percent, as you can see. Go tell her it'll be done when it's done. You can't rush genius."_

_

* * *

_

The ball lands right into my palms. Leol motions for me to throw it back, and I did as hard as I can. And, much to my surprise, the ball travels over his head and hits the gate on the far side of the play ground. "Hey! Wow!" he exclaims. "I can't believe you actually threw it over me! What have they been feeding you? Steroids?" He laughs while running to the ball, and I laugh too, enjoying the moment.

Ding. Dong.

The bell rings its hallow, deep moan, signaling everyone to head back to class. "Looks like you have to go, squirt. Catch!" Leol tosses the ball close to my feet and waves goodbye. I pack up the ball and my bow without saying another word and hurry on to class. Walking through the familiar path from the playground to the academy, I count the number of days I've been here.

Wow! 174 days! That's…nearly six months! And that also means my sixth month meeting Leol Anderson! Wow. I don't believe it, but he was right! Leol gave me a new home, and a new family, and friends. Ok maybe not family, but everyone is so tight here; we might as well all be brothers and sisters. Everyone here is not like the boring people in Cnorion. All the friends I made don't have a family to depend on, so we understand each other. It doesn't really matter who I am, and where I am from anymore. My home is here, with everybody.

"Alright class," the teacher begins right as I reach the front steps, "since tomorrow is graduation, if someone can answer this question, everyone is dismissed early." She pauses and flips her green hair backwards, showing her intimidating eyes. You can always count on her to dramatic pause and catch everyone's attention in the most terrifying way. "But if you get this wrong, afterschool practices for everyone!" I hurry over to my seat near the window.

"Ok, we get it! Just start already!" Ryan says from the back of the room, his expression distorted with forehead lines of impatience and creased lips of anger. "Come on! Give me the best you got!" The teacher stares straight into his eyes and her index finger runs over her lips. Whenever she's doing that it means she'll discard her question and think of something harder. Everyone in the room moans then, the loudest being big-mouthed Mae. Except for me. I don't moan. I'm happy knowing I belong in this class and all the other classes and with all my ninety-three brothers and sisters.

"There are five people trapped within the cave. One is your leader. Two is the goal of the mission, the person you are trying to escort. Three is an injured teammate. Four is your best friend. And five is you. A wave of enemies is waiting outside to ambush your team. The only way to survive is to choose two members of the team to act as a decoy. Who would be the best two to choose?" Dramatic pause. Everyone in the room looks around, hoping someone might have a smart answer. Sean raises his hands.

"Um, miss. How do you know there needs to be two decoys? Wouldn't one be enough? And how about reinforcements?" he answers, smiling with cocky content. The teacher looks at him angrily, but it is usually hard to tell—her blank expression stays the same whether she is happy or sad or angry or perhaps even in love. There is one subtle clue. If you look closely at her eyes you can kind of tell what she's thinking.

"Just for that, Sean, you're going to stay for afterschool." Sean's smile changes into an upside-down rainbow. "Remember class, there is no right answer, but there is a best answer. And you must also state your reason for your two choices." I look across from my seat, at Mae. She looks back, begging me to say something.

Well, let's see. It would be hard to think about this if you have no idea who everyone is, except you. So… The leader is the teacher. The escort is…well…let's say the Empress. I'll make Ryan injured, since he always looks for a fight and have scrapes all the time over his arms. My best friend would definitely be Jason.

If I think about it, the teacher never says decoys have to die. So the best two should go, right? More chance of surviving. That would mean the teacher and me. But the leader is important to plan the next move, and Jason would never let me endanger myself. And since the teacher hates Ryan for talking over her everyday in class, she'll make him the one. After all, an injured person is a resource eating worm to her. So Ryan and Jason? No, Jason wouldn't let an injured person go!

"Hey miss! I got it!" Ryan waves both of his hands in the air violently to catch everyone's attention. "We'll have the leader and the escort go! The leader would negotiate a deal and hand over the escort! And while they are negotiating, everyone can sneak out! Then the leader could teleport the escort away or something!"

"That's an interesting answer, Ryan." She puts her fingers over her lips again, to make it seem like she's pondering. The teacher never ponders—she only thinks of schemes to torture us. "Ok class, you are all dismissed." She smiles happily, like she is content with his answer—she's never content with Ryan's answers. "'Cept for Sean and Ryan! Extra time for the both of you!"

"Yay!" Mae screams as the class hurries out the marble door. Everything is marble and clouds and vines in my home. White is such a common color even in my new home; it strains my eyes to see any other color. Ryan's crimson hair, the deep blue of the water fountains, the grey color of clouds when it's raining, and the sharp green of the vast gardens. And one last thing, the easily recognizable blonde of Jason's hair. It's the yucky type of blonde, with too much color and contrast. Too unbearable to get used to.

"Shui Jing!" Jason calls among the crowds of students strangling the hallways. I squeeze through several of my friends, finally reaching the grassy lawn. That strains my eyes too. Ugh. Jason walks towards me. "Got in trouble again?"

"If you know the answer, why do you even ask?" Mae answers. I turn and she's suddenly right next to me. Whenever she walks, she's as quiet as a kitten. My guess is it's her way of compensating for her high, scratchy voice.

"What did Ryan do this time?"

"Same as usual. And Sean's staying with him. Think they'll drive each other crazy?"

"Sean? That son of a gun? He drives everyone crazy." We head down the familiar path down to the coffee shop, our hang right after school. It's not exactly the closest place, which makes it perfect. Not a lot of people visit there after school and you can get exercise to boot. You kinda need it, since everything tastes so sweet there. Just thinking about it makes my mouth water.

At the coffee shop, we are greeted by two familiar employees: Teresa and Edward, the fastest runners in our group of ninety-four. I don't quite remember when they started their part time job, but one thing for sure is that they do it quite well. Employees of the month? Most likely.

I glare at the both of them intently, trying to make out a difference between them. With their bright gray eyes, olive skin, and cheerful attitude, many people, including me, believe they are twins. They even have the same last name, although Garcia is quite common. But even with all this evidence, I still can't believe they would deny their sibling identity. What could be better than having a brother or sister to call your own?

Yeah, ok, whatever.

"Welcome customers. How may I be of service?" Edward says, slightly out of breath. He gives a model's smile, which really makes the girls squeal. Mae, for example, yells so loud a radius of one mile from the store can hear her echoing wails. "The usual?" He adds, knowing full well of our tastes. This, in part, is credited to Teresa, who makes all these seemingly pointless survey questions every weekend, as well as takes notes every now and then while observing people at the park. She explains it as a vast study on human behavior, and not stalking.

"Yeah." Jason answers.

"No, wait, I want to try something new this time." Mae says. "Strawberry green tea for me and a coffee cheesecake."

"Excellent choice, but may I also interest you in our new sky blue ice cream. My treat of course, but the flavor is an absolute chef's secret." Edward beams at me, knowing I still owe him a big favor for saving my life. He's trying to make me his maid or something, and he's willing to add to my guilt one at a time until I crack. Therefore, all these favor's he's been doing. Mae glares at me, like "What? When did you steal Edward?" Shaking off Mae's stare, I refocus on Edward.

"Can we hold on that please?" I ask while he scribbles the orders.

"Why?" Jason asks, completely clueless to the secret, and I plan to keep it that way. If Jason knows, he'll end up in a big fight with Edward and it really hurts to see two family members fight each other…over me.

"Well…"

"No worries, Shui Jing. It's absolutely sugar-free. If it doesn't satisfy you, we'll gladly give you your orders free of charge." Edward slyly saves me. I look into his eye unbelievably. He's willing to go that far just to have me submit to him?

* * *

_Extraction 39 percent complete_

_ "If you are so discontented with her, tell her personally."_

_ "You think I don't have the guts, do you? She's not right since the first day I met her. We're both on the same level but she never shows respect to me. She keeps kissing that Empress's ass."_

_ "I'm leaving."_

_ "So, you don't like the president?"_

_ "Hells no. Pretty women never listen to a man of science like me. It makes my job so hard. If you are ever going to take my place, be ready to lose that social life of yours."_

_

* * *

_

I wake up in the middle of the night. It's so weird, this sleep disorder I have. One moment I would be dreaming and the next, I'm staring at the dark ceiling in the dead of night. Then I'd have a hard time falling back asleep, usually requiring me to exhaust myself with exercise or something. But that can take upwards to an hour, a horrible waste of time and energy, considering I have a graduation test to complete.

Lifting myself up, a chill runs down my spine when I notice someone right next to my bedside. "Who are you?" I gasp.

"It's me," Jason's familiar voice answers. It is true I gave him a copy of my room key, however weird it is. I'm used to having him wander around in my room in Cnorion, even when I'm not home. But I remember telling him not to come in during the middle of the night. You wouldn't want to mess up right before graduation, right?

"What are you doing here?" I try to hush, but it sounds more like a moan.

"I couldn't sleep. There's a lot in my mind." I stare into his eyes and try to discern his worry. Even in the dark you can usually tell it has something to do with his feelings about his past life and his family. He's predictable that way. "If I'm not bothering you, can I have a minute? I really need your opinion." I contemplate the situation for a moment before thinking "what the heck, it's the night before graduation and I can't sleep either."

"Oh, alright. Go on."

"I've been thinking about this home. I don't think we can trust them."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that, they lied to us. The Outside isn't really polluted, right? We both know that. Everyone knows that by now."

"Yeah, they lied about that. So what? It's a white lie."

"But why lie? Why would they keep us in Cnorion?" Pause. "Don't tell me you never thought of this."

"Well…no, I didn't. Why should I?"

"Because they are hiding something from us! We were raised in Cnorion then suddenly we were brought here and they taught us to read and write and fight. There's something very wrong here!"

"What could be wrong? They gave us a home and food and even a family. You—"

"They're not even your real family! They are kids just like us who's been lied to!"

"So what? You're happy! And I'm happy! Everyone is happy with the way things are! You're being too sensitive!"

"You're being naïve! I'm leaving!" He goes and slams the door, knowing it would attract attention. This is how Jason is when something doesn't go his way. It's his way of attracting attention and sympathy. Well, it sure as hell won't work on me this time! He needs to learn to chill out!

I rest my head down on the smooth pillow and skim my hands over the soft sheets, hoping it might calm me down. So far, it's only making me angrier to think about his words. How can he talk like that about our home? They gave him everything they can: food, water, shelter, family. Is he going to be such a dog and backstab on his family? Argh!

Knock. Knock. "Go away!" I scream at the door, knowing that Ja—wait. He wouldn't knock, he has a key! Quickly, I hurry to the door, and notice a dark figure in front of the door, his hand in mid-knock.

"Got a minute?" he asks. It's Edward.

"Um, how about no?" I answer, slightly agitated, and slam the door. His hand got in the way, and I quickly reopen the door. He jumps up and down in place and swings his injured hand left and right. His other hand covers his mouth, muffling his scream. It's strange for him not to be able to hold the door open with one hand. That means he let me slammed him so I'll pity him. Sigh. Boys. "Ok, what do you want?"

"What do I want? After that I want a lot!" Sigh. I move aside and let him in. Then I check the dark halls, making sure no one saw us.

"So what's 'a lot'?" I ask, closing the door quietly.

"Ok so," he settles on my bed and stretches his legs out like he actually owns it. Can't really blame him though, since all ninety-four rooms look exactly the same. You can move the furniture around to your liking, but most of the time, no one bothers. If I was in Jason's room, I'll probably do the same. "I have a hypothetical question for you."

"Wait, why do you have to ask me? Why not your sister?"

"Because she's not my sister! Get that into your head already! And this is something I can't ask Teresa."

"Why not?"

"Hear the question first, please. So let's say you are my girlfriend—"

"What? Are you asking me out?"

"No…" He moans, his head looking up at the ceiling wearily. "This is hypothetical, remember. So if you were my girlfriend, and you're mad at me, and I don't know why, what can I do to like, make up."

"Well, you have to get me to tell you why I'm mad, and then we can figure out together." His head bobs down in disappointment. Obviously that's not the answer he's looking for.

"You think I didn't try that? She wouldn't tell me anything no matter how much I begged."

"She? Isn't this hypothetical?"

"Shut up, maid." Sigh.

"If you're going to ask for help, be nicer." I wait for him to say "pretty please" or something. After a while I continue, "The thing is you better demand that she tell you or else she's going to be mad at you forever."

"Forever? Won't she forgive me over time?"

"That would depend on what you did. If it's something big and you don't fix it soon, she'll think you can't be trusted forever."

"But I don't know if it was something big!"

"It's hypothetical, right? Well, whatever it is, there are only two choices. Slap her—"

"What?"

"Let me finish."

"Slap her and demand she tell you what is wrong or you can ask her closest friend. If a girl is having problems, she would most likely tell her friends."

"Then, does that mean you know?"

"Why would I know?"

"Because—umm, never mind." Edward stands up, his tired expression now having a little bit of regret over it. "Forget I came here. I really shouldn't have asked you." He sighs. "Sorry for bothering you at the middle of the night. We'll call it even."

Before I can stop him, he rushes out the door. Hmm, he's hiding something. A girlfriend. I just know it. But who could it be? Teresa? Maybe.

Whatever, I'm tired. Too many late night visits.

I rest myself on the bed again, and pull the covers over my legs.

Morning comes like a bothersome bug. I brace myself as Sarah starts her morning round of "knocking on everyone's door until it annoys them." Ugh, just five more minutes. The knock persists on the door, growing noisier by the second. Finally I give up and open that damn door. Waiting for me is the announcer lady from Cnorion. Recently, though, she was transferred to be the manager for the girls, and the last manager took her role. I think the announcer lady is named Renee, but barely anyone mentions her, so it slips off your mind occasionally.

"You have a visitor." Renee announces. She blushes profoundly, explaining why she didn't say her usual "good morning." Leol Anderson is here. "Want me to take you downstairs?" Her voice is shaking so much her raven bun is quivering and her square glasses are shivering. She's hoping for me to say yes.

"Sure." I tell her. We hastily shuffle downstairs to the first level, passing by the boy's floor along the way. Leol stands outside behind the glass and metal door. Leaning next to him, on the rails, is a box as tall and wide as him covered in thick gift wrap. He sees me through the glass and waves. What in the world is in there? A surfboard? Renee treads forward and holds the door open for me.

"Hey squirt. What's wrong? You look like you could scare off a cow." I look shyly at him.

"Terribly sorry! I should've made her clean her face first!" Renee suddenly jumps into the moment.

"Chill out, Reina. Why don't you head back up and take care of the other girls? I need a moment with Shui Jing." Leol reach his palms forward and shuffles my hair, sending the bangs in a messy pattern. Reina looks at me jealously before hurrying back up in her high heel sandals.

I really feel for her, because she's like my aunt, no, my mother. Not the best mother, but she does enough for me to pity her. So hopelessly in love with someone already married. One day, I wish she'll find true love. "So, can you guess what this is?" Leol pats the box and it gives out a hollow sound.

Well, it's big. Over six feet tall. Going by that, I really have no idea. Surfboard? A door? Flat screen TV? An all you can eat buffet? The possibilities were endless.

"Nope," I answer bluntly.

"Aww, come on, that's no fun! Oh alright." He lifts the object off the ground with one hand, twists it horizontally, and places it flat on the tiled earth. "Here, open it." I kneel down and start to undo the wrapping paper. There's no need for modesty, I just rip and tear and shred everything down little by little, until all that remains is cardboard. Carefully I uncover the gift underneath, seeing the object wrapped in more tissue paper. But from the shape I can tell it's a bow.

This time, I do it step by step, revealing it little by little, starting from the top. A glowing gem adorns the origin of the superior wave, its light glistening in rivalry to the sun. The waves start out as dark blue spikes under the beach and then stretch out like the wings of a blue jay. A hard net stretches from where the wave ends, to over the handle, and down to the rest of the bow. There's a space in the net, leaving room to grip the solid foam. The net starts off clear like water and melts into a clean white color, more like vanilla ice cream than snow. But the material that it is made out of expresses a cool breeze similar to ice. At the tip of the bottom is the ice itself: a six pointed snowflake with whiteness in the middle, a five pointed star.

The bow is me. Starting off in the crystal cocoon of Cnorion, and then climbing up the icy edges of my home, then into the open, Outside sea. There I can spread snow everywhere, under the sunny beaches. The whole world would belong to me and my family.

"Oh, oh wow!" I exclaim between laughs. The beauty of it is incredible! Everything sparkles under the sun so real; you swear this is water and ice! It's something off a dream! But this is real, one hundred percent! I can touch it! I can feel it! And I can have it! "Oh my god! I can't believe you did this! You are the best!" I jump up and down, holding my new bow for all to see. There isn't anyone except us but still. This bow is mine!

"Whoa, calm down squirt! Haha." He holds his hand out and pins me down by the shoulder, although my laughter still can't be contained. After a long while, I finally stop, and notice something else shining in the box. Arrows. Bending down and holding one in my hand, I start to compare its weight to its hardness. Light as a feather, but if you observe carefully, it's made seemingly out of steel. "Acer Ferrum Arrows." Leol rests his palms on my right shoulder.

"De Bore-de-ah-ox?" I try to pronounce the text written on the side of the arrows.

"De Bordeaux." Leol corrects. "They are the Stradivari of bow making. It took me a hefty sum to make the bow, but they still won't do it! Until they saw your design. They were too privileged to beg, but I knew they wanted to make it. They said the artist, you, were a genius." I count the number of arrows. One…two…three…four…sixteen.

"Thank you so much!" I stretch my arms to the best of my ability to give him a full embrace. Then I plant a kiss right on his cheeks, emitting a chuckle out of him. "I love you so much!"

"Hey, enough, enough. You still have a graduation test! I'll see you during awards ceremony!"

* * *

_Extraction 41 percent complete_

_ "According to the report, Shui Jing took test number three. What is it about?"_

_ "Someone hasn't been doing their homework, I see. The test essentially comes in three stages, but the first two is standard procedure. Send some monsters after them and see if they can fend them off. The third is different. It forces them to kill each other, the last one standing wins."_

_ "Don't they live together for months?"_

_ "Yeah, they do."_

_ "So then, they have to kill friends who spent all that time with them. Isn't that a little bit cruel?"_

_ "The test is designed to be that way. It is to give the remaining ones a lesson that in battle there is no family. Shui Jing took it really hard, though."_

_

* * *

_

"Here you go." Ren—Reina hands me the letter. Inside tells you the group of six you are going to be in. But you can expect two groups of five since the ninety-four brothers and sisters aren't perfectly divisible by six. I hurry up and finish my plain oatmeal and the rest of my milk before finding a nice, empty place in the shade. I situate myself on one of the outside chairs, take the letter out and read off the names one by one.

Kyra S. Mendoza.

Ryan Sun.

Shui Jing Hua.

Sonata Aydin.

Teresa B. Garcia.

Jason Cerge.

I feel the intricate golden edges, letting its smoothness soothe my excitement. Wow. I'm probably shoved into the best team there is. Jason: good with a sword, cooperative, my best friend. Teresa: fastest runner out of the whole group because she's a stalker. Ryan, hot headed, strong. Sonata: top swordsman, quiet, balances me out. Kyra: strong-willed, nerdy in a good way unlike Sean.

"Hey guys." A voice calls. I look up and see each one of them flanking me in a circle. Sonata remains quiet while brushing away a wisp of purple hair. His hand lies uncomfortably at his broadsword. It's really hard to tell what he's thinking at all times, but maybe he felt I would be a drag to the group. Kyra on the other hand seems excited to have me, balancing boy and girl to three each. She's a feminist and she has big eyes.

"Look what Leol got me!" I hold up my bow, even though everyone already saw it right before breakfast. It's to demonstrate to Sonata that I'm a force to be reckoned with. I'm going to graduate not because of him, but because of myself! "It's a bow made by masters. Um…de Bordeaux. And I have Acer Ferrum arrows. They're really light and strong!" This seems to have caught Sonata's attention as he turns to face me with a smile. He rarely smiles. The only time he does is when he's proud.

"Ok everybody," Sonata starts, eliciting surprise from everyone in vicinity, "we're going to win this!" He holds his hand high in the air then puts it down in front of me. I put my hand on top and everyone body else follows: Kyra, Jason, Ryan, Teresa. It's weird to do this, and even weirder than Sonata started it, but… I'm with my brothers and sisters and my home and my family. Nothing really matters as long as I'm with them.

* * *

_Extraction 46 percent complete_

_ "Hey, what are you doing, reading my files?"_

_ "I thought I might be able to help you better if I read some of the files."_

_ "Hmm, well for once, you're being a smart assistant! In that case, read all of this!"_

_ "Careful! It's heavy!"_

_ "Here. All of this by tomorrow."_

_ "What! Wah! I can't get all that done in such a short time!"_

_ "Back in my homeland, I had to finish this in a few hours. You're lucky to have overnight."_

_

* * *

_

I hear the shortness of my breath and the pounding of my legs. No, wait. These sounds aren't from my legs. It's the monster behind me. The growls, the poundings, the sounds of needles popping—all are signs of the beast closing in on my position. I didn't dare turn around, because that little pause is all the thing needs to pummel me with its spiked armor. Covering my left and right is the high cliffs, leaving only one path for me—ahead.

I know I'll run into a wall eventually.

Ok.

So the deal is: I volunteered to decoy the boss for the second test, because I wouldn't want anyone else to do it. Teresa is faster than me, but no one agreed to her because of her playful nature. We all understand she couldn't see death even if it is right in front of her. So it was up to me to act as decoy until the rest can think up of a plan. Nobody was really prepared for how difficult this fight would be.

"Guys," I yell into the earpiece when Jason finally picks up. "How is the plan coming along?"

"It's—" Jason says mid-sentence.

"Watch out," someone interrupts. I hear a loud bang and the subsequent sounds of rocks tumbling down a cliff. The explosion is close by, maybe just right behind me. Jason must be right above me, then, observing me.

"Jason! Are you there?" Scratches. Coughs. Moans. I try my best to make out what they're saying while increasing my pace.

"Teresa—going in—to kill your—hope—I'll rescue Shui Jing! He jumped down!" Huh? Jason jumped? I uncontrollably stop in my tracks and look up only seeing the monster in front of me. The armor clunk as it raises the large arm and pummels me into the solid rocks. My head quakes and as I wait for the shaking to stop, I hear the screeching of metal against metal. A lone shadow standing above the monster swings something against the surface of the armor.

I draw an arrow from the pouch strapped on my leg and shoot without aiming.

"Shui Jing? Hey, keep yourself together!"

"Ja—Jason?" I open my eyes and sense something strange. It's like my body is falling. Taking a glance down, I realize I'm up in the air, but the land below moves farther as my body jerks. Jason's carrying up the cliff. And the monster isn't shooting at us. "Did we win?"

"Oh, I'm so glad you came to. I thought you were gone."

"What's happening," I mumble as he lifts the both of us off the cliff. Three faces—Kyra, Teresa, and Ryan—surround me.

"Sonata switched places with you," Kyra explains.

"Why would he do that," I exclaim. Jason helps me stand up and brings my bow to my hands. After a second or so, my mind clears up and Kyra continues,

"You looked a bit tired, so we decided to switch." I take a look at Jason and immediately tell he's hiding something. Kyra too, I can feel it in her voice. But this is not the time to thinking about this as…

"You have got to be kidding me," someone screams. I turn my attention to Ryan, who somehow moved to the edge of the cliff without me noticing. Teresa pulls him backwards, and a volley of spikes fly into the air and arc randomly around us. The spikes, like a fence, separate me, Jason, and Kyra from Teresa and Ryan. Underneath, I hear and feel the vibrations of the ground.

"What is causing that tremor," Jason asks.

"That monster is climbing the cliff!" Ryan yells, his voice giving away his impatience. "Think of something, Kyra!"

"I got nothing," she simply answers. "Shui Jing, you have anything?" For a moment I think, but nothing comes in except for Sonata's act. He has no reason to save me. Only Jason would do something like that, right? The more I think about it, the more I'm confused about it. But I know I can't let him stay down there. Drawing another arrow, I slip through the spikes and take my first good look at the beast.

Six times the size of Leol, covered in an aqua armor. Down the spine of the back and across the length of the limbs are those spikes, acute and long. But perhaps the deadliest property is the accuracy of every shot. If there is anything that can be defined as invincible, this monster is the incarnation. Ryan's right. It is climbing up the cliff punching its arms into the rocky cliff to get a hold. Every step it takes drives a scar into the dry earth.

Without hesitation, I launch the arrow. It crashes harmlessly on the armor and falls below with a thud. "It's not going to work, Shui Jing," I hear Teresa warns with calm in her voice.

"What else am I supposed to do? If the monster gets up here, we're all toast."

"We can just run. Right, guys?" Teresa suggests, raising her eyebrows. I hear a scratching sound from my earpiece and immediately press it. Over on the other side is a faint voice. Sonata.

"Run? This is a test. There's no running! If you guys aren't going to do anything about it, I will," Ryan screams, looking ready to jump off anytime.

"Are you crazy? You can't fight alone," Jason reasons.

"Quiet! I'm listening to Sonata," I yell, looking at both Jason and Ryan. They watch me half dazed and half concerned. "Ok go on."

"I got it. The weakness is in the spikes. It's holding the armor together. Remove them all at the same time. But soften the joints beforehand. You got all that?"

"Yeah," I say with confidence.

"Tell everyone else that. I'm climbing up the cliff now. Distract it for me." I eye Kyra, indicating to her that I'm done.

"What's up," she inquires, her hands crossed over her chest.

"Sonata got a counter attack. The spikes are nailing the armor onto the beast. So we'll remove them all."

"So it's that simple? I could've thought of that," Ryan breaks in. I look at him adjusting his brass glove and immediately know his intention. He's always the first one to go in, and the first one to get hurt.

"Don't go in," I raise my voice and knock his knuckles. "I can pick it off from afar."

"Throwing a rock at a splinter would only drive it in deeper," Kyra reasons with a proverb. "Ryan is a close range fighter and the most hands-on. I second his decision."

"This isn't some democracy!" I face Kyra and stare at her, trying my best to sway her to my point-of-view. "We can't vote on his life!"

"I don't think Ryan would wait for the casting of the vote." She motions for me to turn to the cliff, and right then, I catch a wisp of redness disappearing off the stony crevice. His yucky blonde hair passes by me too, and this time, I put my hand out to stop him. I would never let him go the same way Ryan did.

"Let go of me," Jason whispers. Kyra and Teresa hold hands.

"Where do you think you're going," I demand to the two girls.

"We're here to take a test, Shui Jing. Not sit around. You can stay here and be safe all you want. You can even take all the credit. But someone has to get the job done eventually," Kyra explains, squinting her eyes. I don't know if she's trying to belittle me somehow or look down on me. But I know, I don't like the way she's been talking lately. "It's simple fact. Don't think about it too much. Teleport." And they depart, leaving me and Jason alone.

"I have to support them," Jason says while wiggling himself free. I stretch my hands out to block his access to the cliff. My mouth instantly moves on its own, out of control.

"I'll support them! You stay right here, where it's far away!"

"I won't watch the battle unfold right in front of me!"

"You can fight on the last test. But this time, it is better if I use my bows and arrows! You'll just hurt yourself if you get too close."

"Didn't you hear it clearly from Kyra? We need to remove the spikes from close range! I have to go, no matter what. You can follow if you want."

"No! I can't let you do that!"

"Why are you being so unreasonable?"

"Because, I won't accept the graduation if something happened to my team!"

"Oh, so it always has to do with that family dream of yours. That you should be the one going in and fighting when everyone else stands around! The longer we wait here, the less support everyone else would get. There's no more time to waste!" At this point, I realize, I can't argue this any longer.

It is true that I wasted too much time arguing this.

"Fine. We'll go together." I tilt my head down in defeat. His two hands rest over my shoulders and I look back up. He's showing me that estranged smile, full of confident and victory. And then something comes into my mind. "But, you have to run if I tell you to."

"I think I can—" He didn't have time to finish the sentence when a sudden noise clatters like cards from a deck flipping. I remember this sound behind me when I was being the decoy. And before I can block it for him, he pushes me into the ground, and the stray spike rips through his hip. Out in the corner of my eye, I see the glow of the monster, before it disappears.

"Tsht. Too late," Kyra's sharply comments. I am about to tell her to heal Jason but stop when I notice blood trickling on the bottom half of her robes. Her breathing comes in uneven waves, like the wind during a storm. Sonata rests unconsciously besides her, wounds riddling across his chest. And sensing my shock, Kyra says, "There was an avalanche. You didn't hear it?"

"I don't have time for that! Bring me down there now," I say with a sudden urge. Ryan and Teresa must be still down there.

"I was planning to do that. I still need to fetch Teresa. She got hit, too."

"Teresa too?" Kyra touches my hand and whispers her magic. In a whoosh, the peaceful and dry landscape of the cliffs transforms into the stony battleground below. Rough stones in colors of rust and marble cover the tight canyon. The first person I spot is Ryan. He's pulling out the spikes little by little, with each removal causing a loud moan from the beast. Another whoosh later, I come to realize, we're the only ones left available to fight. Kyra's gone and Teresa's nowhere to be found.

Knowing the futility of the bow, I discard it between two boulders, and instead pound myself forward at the monster's weakness: the spikes. At the perfect moment, I grip onto the first spike, and pull it, causing a cry from the monster. It whips its body around to flatten us, but I don't move an inch away from the monster. I only continue to pull the spikes out as fast as I can. Yet, it doesn't matter how much I pull or how fast I go, nothing can reverse the flow of blood down Kyra's leg. Nothing can rewind the moment when the avalanche happened.

And nothing can switch me and Jason around, so that I'm the one in physical pain and he's the one holding the grief.

Thinking about the sacrifices of my team, powers my arms to remove all the spikes until one remains. Lodged deeply behind the neck is the last nail holding the armor.

And I didn't notice it sooner—the large arm coming my way with Ryan just right in front of me. The next moment, I can taste the rocks and the dirt as I tumble around. Regaining my balance, I first see Ryan lying on the ground. Then I look at the monster. Eyes deep yellow, like it's trying to pierce into your body, when in fact it is not the eyes, but the spikes that do so. Ryan, Kyra, Jason, Teresa, and Sonata—all suffered from the damage done by this monstrosity.

It angers me that I have to be the one to witness, and not share, the suffering of my family. Feeling the bow besides me, I pull my second Acer Ferrum Arrow and launch it right at the neck. The arrow smashes squarely at the body armor, but nothing more than that. It still lies, intact and standing. That last spike, behind the neck, is keeping it alive.

Damn.

The monster brushes its legs along the ground. It's trying to smash me. And once the hit connects, I'll be stone, cold dead. And we won't pass the test. And we definitely won't be part of the graduating team. I can run, that's true. But in this closed ravine, where can I run to? I'll eventually find myself unable to run any further, and then what? No matter where I go, it'll find me. And I'll die.

I can't die.

I shoot another arrow, this time focusing as much energy as possible, hoping that it'll go through the armor somehow. But the thought quickly dissolves when nothing happens. No wound. Not even a scratch. As I'm about to give up, I see it. The monster roars and trashes as the armor itself shake apart. I can see a little of it. The redness of its skin. This is it. A clear shot!

Once I release the arrow, it'll be over!

And then I release the arrow. It speeds across the ravine and lands deeply through the neck, ending its life. The beast leans forward and falls on the ground with a thud. Behind the body, stands Jason, the last spike in his hand. Kyra's leaning on a smooth, round boulder and giving me a thumb up. It takes me a second to apprehend the situation. They must've teleported down here. Jason must've convinced her to do so.

"Jason," I try to whisper, but the words come out more baby-ish than I thought.

I can smell the bitterness in Kyra's blood from this distance, and I can feel this pain in my back, in my legs, in my shoulders. And Jason gives me a nod before falling from his own tiredness. It takes me a moment to analyze the result. Ryan's broken ribs. Kyra's bleeding legs. Jason's wound. Sonata and Teresa above us. But it's at least over…no. It isn't.

There's a final test. If it's anything like the second test, then we're done for. I'm the only one left who can battle.

And it is fear that replaces that victorious feeling I had a moment ago.

Before I can really recollect my thoughts, the scratchy speakers act up again. "Congratulations on passing the second test," Reina says. I look around for a sign that we're being watched, but nothing comes into view. "For the third and final test, each team must select one member to step into the nearby portal. We expect you to be as prompt as possible. Everyone have a nice day." I'm the only one who can do it. A glowing circle emerges off the ground in front of the monster, in front of Jason.

One look into his eyes, and I can tell he won't let me get there first. But I know he can't move and he can't do anything about it. It's only logical that I go. "I'm sorry, Jason. I have to do this for my family," I apologize and step into the circle.

"Shui Jing!" Jason screams as light envelopes me. It grows brighter and brighter, covering my eyes from seeing anything anymore. "I—" And then everything goes white.

* * *

_Extraction 47 percent complete_

_ "Hey, Leol."_

_ "'Sup."_

_ "It says here…You were the one who wrote test number three! Actually you wrote all the tests!"_

_ "Yeah, that's true. What's wrong? Is there some scribble?"_

_ "Oh. No. I just didn't think you'd agreed with this method. Guess I was wrong."_

_ "I wrote it after my daughter started going out. I thought people didn't have values anymore. But that changed when I met Shui Jing. Too bad I couldn't stop her."_

_ "Is something the matter?"_

_ "Sometimes I feel I was the one to push her into now. But, at least, she's still fighting for her life. After this is done, I owe her an apology."_

_

* * *

_

I try my best to pull the weapon out of her body. But if I do, I'll only inflict the same pain the monster faced back in the second test. The hexagonal crystal on the bottom of the bow digs into my thigh. It's freezing me, right here, and washing me away. She slides her glare at me through her pupils as she deteriorates in front of me. And it isn't something I see or hear. The fact is—I can feel her life melting, draining, disappearing. Raining, dropping, gathering, freezing. Dying.

But I can feel more than her death. Everything she's seeing and feeling and hearing and tasting and saying in her head passes through and adhere at the edge. The water grazes the waves of the bow and dances across the frozen web. Sorrow and hatred traps itself, begging to break free. And, prideful, it does. With the impurities finally gone, it receives powers to crush and break and freeze and level and shatter every the last bit of warmth.

"I'm so sorry," I whisper when the first snowflake falls. It shouldn't be this way. "I didn't mean to harm you."

I look into my bow for answers. The impulse underlining the top blocks the amber jewel from shining and melting the ice. It starts out life as frozen blades, purple and not blue, and spread their beauty all across the water's edge, the bow. A net, the chamber, holds all the loneliness and despair, and there it rests, right under the purple sea. Right under the rain. And there it rests the frosted fingers, as sentient as the Angel of Death, upon the frozen life before me. At life's end is the wishing star buried alive by the six-point star. Six, I heard, is a cursed number. And this star is the one that connects me to her. Her pain and mine.

This bow is the weapon that killed Mae. Ice, destructive beauty through isolation.

Why, do you do this to me?

"She's finally dead. Congratulations, you've won," Sarah says between breaths. It takes me all I can not to finish her too. But it takes even more to remember how Mae treated me. How she at the end, fired her arrow not at me, but at Sarah, who was centimeters away from killing me. In Mae's last moment, I choose what she didn't. Killing a friend. As the pieces fix themselves together in my head, I take the weapon closer and closer to Sarah's heart. "Are you going to kill me too, even when I'm dying?" She goes into a hurtful laugh, gurgling bright red blood over the snow, the purest form of water.

_"I've been thinking about this home. I don't think we can trust them."_

"I told you! Your beliefs are trash. This! This is where it all ends up," Sarah continues.

_"I'm saying that, they lied to us. The Outside isn't really polluted, right? We both know that. Everyone knows that by now."_

"I've really had enough of your talks."

_"But why lie? Why would they keep us in Cnorion? Don't tell me you never thought of this."_

"You are a disgusting child. You keep thinking on and on, but you never thought for yourself."

_"Because they are hiding something from us! We were raised in Cnorion then suddenly we were brought here and they taught us to read and write and fight. There's something very wrong here!"_

"You can go ahead and kill me. Losing against you, I have no regrets."

_"They're not even your real family! They are kids just like us who's been lied to!"_

"Continue to be with anyone you want. But remember that you're the one who killed me. I'll always remain your enemy!" At the end of her speech, I drill the purple spikes into her heart, ending the life of the Angel of Death.

Or did I?

At death, she flashes her eyes, full of victory. Why are you so happy? I'm the one graduating. Not you! I'll graduate because I killed you. All seven of you! Dead because of me! And your injured teams, too! Stop smiling! Stop laughing! Stop showing me your eyes! Stop dying! Stop living! Stop existing! Stop snowing! Stop! All of this! Stop right now!

Why won't you all stop?

I stop. And I discard the weapon. And I examine the stains on the bow and on the snow. And I find, Sarah's body, repeatedly smashed and scarred and scraped and skinned by a row of spikes, mincing her organs until only fine remains remain.

And Jason, standing in clear view, finds me. And punches me. And pushes me. And while Ryan stops him, yelling, "Why did you kill Mae? Why did you have to kill her? She! She was pregnant! With Edward's child!" He hurts Ryan too, and then hurts me. He pushed me down the hill. Down like snow on clouds. Crumbling utopia.

I remember seeing Edward during a night before an important day. And we talked. Talked about his hypothetical—and now dead, girlfriend. And I finally see something else. But I'm too numb to feel anything anymore.

And as more and more pain adhere at the edge, more and more snow gathers around me. Today, I killed my family.

Today, I lost my home.

* * *

_Extraction 48 percent complete_

_ "Leol. I think you should take a look at this."_

_

* * *

_

I sit on the white sheets of my bed across from the bow resting diagonally to the chair. It feels so good to just be here and stare at it. All day. There is a feeling that tells you that you exist, and that you live. And that this suffering you have now, is as endless as the water cycle. Sometimes I stay inside for days, moving once every few hours. Reina passes some food three times a day, and I eat it. Only to reject it later. It is magical how feeling like this is. And sleep? I barely sleep now. Every night for the past week, I wake up in the middle of the night. Most of the time, I stare at the ceiling, or if I turn, I see the Angel of Death by the chair. And all these things would go into my head, liberating me from whatever it is I'm feeling.

Once a person has reached a point where food and sleep doesn't provide enough, that person is dying. It's so great to feel that way. It's how Mae felt when I pushed that blade in. Slow and dragged out, the thoughts just swim around until everything shuts down. I want too feel that way too.

"Hey, squirt." I raise my head up, expecting Leol. The sun by the window blinds me, but I can still see Reina moving up to my bed side. "Would you mind handing these letters for me?" I take them without a word, but also without knowing what to do. "One of it is for you. Happy graduation." Oh, so that's what it is about. Scribbled on the envelopes, in Reina's perfect cursive, are their names.

Kyra S. Mendoza.

Ryan Sun.

Sonata Aydin.

Teresa B. Garcia.

Shui Jing Hua.

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

Jason Cerge.

Jason. He'll help me. I know he will. Only he can.

"I think it might be better if you get out of your room and spend time with your team."

"I'll get going, right away. Thanks Reina." I accept the gift graciously and step out of bed.

Into the balcony, I hear the silence. Usually, Sarah, Mae, and some other girls would chat on and on about random topics. I loved those conversations. It was pointless, but I came to love being here, chatting and staying happy. I love the fact that, when you look up from here, you can see the boys' windows in clear view. Jason's right above me and he's always up there listening to us by the window. But he's not there today. Does he still hate me?

_"Did you have to kill her?"_

_"I'll always remain your enemy!"_

I shake the thought from my head. It's pointless anyway.

Kyra S. Mendoza. Her room is just down the balcony, at the last door by the stairs. As I head down, I imagine how I should do this. What do I say to her? I didn't see her in the last week. Is she in grief the same way I am? Why else wouldn't she visit me? Well, Kyra is a strong girl. And smart, too. She wouldn't let what I did get to her, right? I know Kyra isn't the type to cry or grief. And it's a definite fact that she doesn't hate anyone or anything. Maybe, all would go well, and she'll be my family. She always had.

Right?

I scan the glass door, finding Kyra in the middle of the room with her hands on the table, and her eyes blank and weary. She positions the knife in a strange way, as if trying to cut her hand. It's strange, and I wonder what's happening. She's so focused on what she's doing, like I'm as invisible as a ghost.

"Kyra." I knock on the glass, but she ignores me as she slides the blade across her wrist. She's committing suicide. "Kyra!" I yell louder this time and bang on the glass. But it's too late—she killed herself in front of me, and it seems as if, she doesn't care about the way I feel anymore. Like I'm not her family. Too pointless to care about.

Her head curves over the back of the chair, and her hands bleed fresh blood. I try pushing the door open, but it's locked from the inside. "Kyra! Kyra!" Dropping the invitations in my hand, I use both fists to pound the door the same way I would pound on a barrier. But no matter how hard I try, this is one barrier that can outwrestle me.

"Out of my way!" Ryan steps in from nowhere and the moment I shift my body around, he smashes himself right through the thick glass. It cracked with an intense noise, and when I look at him, he's covered in shards of glass. Stun, I slowly watch him move to Kyra and lift her in his arms. Now the both of them are bloodied. When Ryan steps through the door again, he glowers and yells, "Get out. No one wants you here."

But, I'm so shock, the only reply I give is, "Why would she do that?" because I really have to know if it has to do with me.

"She lost a dear friend of hers," he grimaces gravely. Ryan doesn't even have to continue. I leave the two letters with him and leave for the boy's floor.

Upstairs, the halls is still painted pure white, with no patterns. There are the darken areas, dark crevices where no sunlight can reach. In the brightest part of the floor, Jason's room, I knock on his door, twice. When no one answers, my body starts to shake. First Kyra and Ryan. And now, Jason? Does he hate me too? Our years of friendship, doesn't it mean at least something?

Moving away from the door, I go to the darkest room, and find the door slightly ajar. Moving it open, I find the place completely empty. Bed sheets cleaned out. Clothes gone. The desk already has a thin layer of dust covering it. What happened? "Big brother isn't here."

"Huh?" I turn and look at the small girl at the doorframe, a large lollipop in her hand. She's only a child, but something about her black overcoat lined with a crisscross of thin silver lines seems weird to me. It is a version of the uniform I've never seem before. The white lines make diamonds. They seem to signify something higher. But the Cnorion symbol is on the upper arm, with only slight changes.

"Big sister, you must be Shui Jing. I'm Ballade." Ballade takes several licks of her lollipop and as soon as her head bobs forward, her hair pin falls off. The raven hair covers over her eyes as she continues to lick stoically. For a moment, she seems like a veiled devil until she pulls the strands back over her ears. "If you want to see Sonata, follow me. I'll take you to big brother." Silently, I trail her out the dorms. She leads me across a long pathway through several trees.

And finally, we arrive at a manor surrounded on all sides by evergreen maples. It's lush mahogany and made in a classical style, reflecting the intricate gates surrounding the complex. In the twilight sun, everything glows in a weird and strange way, but not like a fire. Fire would mean destruction. But this home seems to represent life. Opposite to my modern and white home.

It's the first time I actually seen a brown building. Or for that matter, been in these mysterious woods. "Good job, Ballade," a soft man says when he opens one of the doors to the inside. "I saw you coming at the window, and prepared a treat for you. Gack should have it."

"Big brother Kougi! Yay! He's always the best!" The man makes room for Ballade to go in but when I try to, he pushes me out.

"I'm sorry. Sonata doesn't want to see you at this moment. I only brought you here to meet you. My name is Serenade. Take care to remember that. We'll be seeing each other quite often from now on." I take a last look at the strange, well-mannered man and give him the envelope. He closes the door, leaving me to wonder if we really will see each other again.

With Sonata done, that leaves only Teresa and…Jason. I don't remember seeing them in the dorm. Where could they be? Maybe, they've returned?

Anyways.

I hurry across the same path I came from to the dorms. On the way, I bump into the teacher, and she tells me Teresa is in the graveyard. I don't ever remember hearing or seeing a graveyard. But then she explains: it was created for all the people I've killed on that day. I imagine eighty-eight tombstones arranged in rows and columns. Each one of them would have written records of the friends who were once my family. Except for one—Sarah, who was never my real friend. There would only be one reason for Teresa to be there. Her twin.

With the directions to the graveyard, I arrive there, passing through the flower shop. Within the shop are all these buckets of pure white flowers with too many petals to count. A tag tied to each stem contains its information, and I take a look at the name. Snow Roses, native to El Nath. Thorns are mildly poisonous, while the petals have healing properties. I purchase one with whatever spare money I have before going straight to the stones.

It's a very peaceful and pretty place. Sun down is nearly over and night would overtake the sky. The clouds arrange themselves in a pattern around the sun, maybe like how the tombstones seem to center on the only person there. Teresa stands as motionless as one of the carefully crafted stones. I make my way towards her, the names of two of my friends echoing into my head. Edward. Mae. I'm sorry. A thick clump finds it way in my throat, and I swallow twice on the way to Teresa. But once I'm there, nothing comes into mind. She stares at Edward's picture on the marble grave without blinking, without emotion. After setting the rose upon the tomb, I leave the letter also, for Teresa.

And that leaves only Jason.

Before leaving the graveyard, I glance back at Teresa for a moment. She's kneeling over the grave now, her back to me, shoulder's shaking. And as if we are all still alive, our quickened breathing and silent hushes fill the choir of the peaceful and pretty place. Eighty-eight dead and six alive. The world comes to a stop for just this one moment. And I collapse on the floor, unable to control the memories flooding back, as the chorus continues.

"Hey, squirt," I lean myself on his side. "It's all going to be ok. They'll come to your graduation. You'll all be a family again." And I know, it's impossible, because we are all separated by life and death.

* * *

_Extraction 49 percent complete_

_Memory Eclipsed I_

_ "The machine. There's something interesting about it. You invented it, right? Hey, what's that…?"_

_

* * *

_

Jason was nowhere to be found, and no one knew where he was. He vanished in one day. In the end, no one else got the certificate in the awards ceremony except for me. Leol was also the only one in the audience, supporting me with applause when I went up to the stage. When the teachers, Reina, and some other people I never met dispersed, Leol and I remained in the auditorium. He asked me a few questions and I asked my own questions, similar to when we first met each other. He was calm and patient and I answered everything as truthfully as I could. And at last, I took his offer.

"Shui Jing? What's wrong? Please respond," Leol says into the speaker. I twist around and see him through the glass. He's wearing the same beanie and sunglasses, and still smiles the same way. Leol. Never change, alright?

"I'm just thinking, that's all."

"Oh, alright. Are you ready, squirt?"

"I'm wearing three layers! I'll be fine!"

"It's still cold in the chamber. I wouldn't want anything to go wrong."

"I believe in you, Leol! No worries." Truth is, I am a little worried. But it's useless because I wouldn't turn back. Not now, not to those painful times and memories. I walk forward.

The chamber slides shut immediately. He's right. It is very cold. But I'll take it. It's ok to feel cold. And sleepy… And…

The last thing I feel within me is a final rush of waves, dancing down my cheek skin, and freezing in the subzero temperatures of the chamber. Ice. So beautiful, and so deadly. Just like diamond…

* * *

_Extraction 50 percent complete_

_Memory Eclipsed I_

_ "Her cheeks! They're freezing!"_

_ "No, that's just her crying."_

_ "That can't be possible! Isn't this just a fluctuation of her powers?"_

_ "This phenomenon happened before, during the DEAMer process. It's because of her genetic disorder, causing her sleep disorder. She's awake and at the same time she's asleep. She's aware."_

_ "So she's awake during the DEAMer process? Isn't that very painful! She was in subzero degrees! Isn't this wrong?"_

_ "Shui Jing always had an affinity for coldness."_

_ "That's not the point! Won't she die from the pain?"_

_ "But she didn't, right?"_

_ "Still… I find that very disturbing."_

_ "Would you shut up? I'm thinking right now."_

_ "What is it?"_

_ "What else can it be? There's something fishy going on. A missing piece of the puzzle about her. I need to find it before the extraction completes."_

_ "S...Should I bring all the files?"_

_ "No. I personally wrote them. I still remember it clearly in my head… Don't worry, Shui Jing. I'll find it for you."_

_

* * *

_**A/N:** And so ends the first half of Shui Jing's story. When will I write the other half? So far I only have a beginning and ending in mind. Once the rest of the ideas and themes sink in, I'll begin.

Finding What's Lost is another story I wrote last year that indirectly connects to this story, so I just put an appropriate quote in.

Anyways, if you read this far, put some of your favorite sentences/quotes from Shui Jing's story in the review. Thanks everyone!


	2. Part Two

_**Synopsis: **Crystal Flowers. Mama? Cold? Snow? Let go of me? The faint awakening. Gifts of water, light, darkness. Your insistence. My unspoken words. Our forbidden feelings. "You'll forget about it." "Remember that, will you?" Shui Jing Hua. The End._

* * *

**A/N: **I dedicate part two to marco2050. Your expertise and continued support make you the best beta-reader anyone can ever hope for. Your help on the actions scenes (the battles and the explosions) have really made this story shine much brighter than it would've been if I've done it alone. And thanks to Blinded by the Moonlight for your golden opinions and words of encouragement. Your enthusiasm kept me going even when I was running out of words to put down.

Enjoy this story, and Happy Early Chinese New Year!

* * *

Excerpt from Finding What's Lost:

"_**Precisely. Years ago, he found a laboratory in the middle of the sewers and discovered a series of spell books. Among them was the ability to interrogate certain enzymes into the cells. That was how these monsters in the tubes were created.**_

"_**And Anhel. Leol scouted him to be part of another experiment. The other parts of the spell books detailed on that: the elements and how to change the human body into the elements itself. He called this "Direct Elemental Anatomy and Manipulation", DEAM. **_

_**And Anhel possessed the genes to survive the DEAM process. And I was pulled into this. They offered me change, a way to make the world a better place. So they took Ludibrium's treasure and Anhel, while I had to finish everyone else who was with us.**_

"_**We knew you would find my alibi fishy, but I didn't care. Soon, I would leave too, and Ludibrium wouldn't let you investigate me. I joined up with Leol, who worked for a group called the Knights. I didn't know much about the people on the inside. That didn't matter though. I was more interested in finishing the job and so I was to watch the prisoners. You've seen them right? Trapped in Adamasdyst?"**_

"_**Get to the point." Cathy snarls.**_

"_**The prisoners were from all around, and they all had one single point, special genes, genetic disorders, or a certain talent. In response to that, the Special Children program by Elite was made, the secret eradication of ones they labeled as "special". They all had the ability to survive the DEAM process. Anhel was one of the first successful subjects. It was a miracle he survived the pain. While his arm, his body was being liquefied into water, he screamed for your name. I do wonder why though. Why would he, a traitor, still think about you?"**_

_**-Maple Story: Finding What's Lost**_

_**

* * *

**_

_Extraction 51 percent complete_

_ "I'm still confused. What do you mean when you said the missing puzzle? What could go wrong?"_

_ "Think about it. She could be aware at this very moment. That means she knows her memories are fading away as the extractions keep going. But why does it glitch. Why would her memory glitch?"_

_ "Didn't the problem go away by itself? I don't think you should think this hard about something as complicated as memory."_

_ "Remember the notes you passed me."_

_ "I just wanted to know a little bit more on how it works. I couldn't get what—"_

_ "I'm not talking about that part. Read lower, at the last section."_

_

* * *

_

A child sat on the chair while her mother readied the pen and paper. The lady held the kid's hand with care and guides it delicately across the paper. She was as gentle as possible; her weight on the child was as light as a feather. If she held the hand too tightly, it would shatter. If she wasn't cautious with her movements, the child would never be able to write. If her warmth was too much for the girl, they would both fall apart. Her world was made of glass that binds her to her child.

Once the words were done, the mother said the words she wrote, but the child couldn't hear. The crackle of the fire was stone silent. The steam from the kettle produced no sound. And the presence of snow was undermined by walls of the home as well as by the beauty of the moment. On her own, the child repeated the words on paper. And with that, the silence was no more. Happiness from the mother could be heard. Squeaking floor could be heard. The child's ears were separated from the quiet slumber.

And with that, the mother voice could be heard.

Hua Shui Jing. But remember, this first one is our family name. The last two is yours. Shui Jing.

"But mama, I saw a character where you put two drops of water like this. What does this mean?"

"Silly girl. That means ice. I would rather have a water child than an ice child."

"What's wrong with being an ice child?"

"Because you will always be my special little Shui Jing, clear and bright and forever. Ice just melts."

"Eh? I get it mama."

_Mama?_

I breathe. I see. Where? Where am I? In this dim lighting, I see all around me the sparks from broken machinery and the flashing of red lights. It gives a bloody glow to the room, not at all white. White. Why white? Leol? Pass the broken glass, all I see is papers dump over the ground in emergency and the constant fuzzy screen emitting static. It takes me a while to move my legs, but once I do, they are still stiff like walking in thick lead. Slowly and carefully, I push myself over the tiles and closer to where Leol was. He should be here. He has to be.

But he's not. He's nowhere. The white beanie and thick sunglasses are nowhere to be seen. Where could he be? What happened?

I hear the sound of glass, and a figure produces from behind. He's in a glass helmet and a white suit with dark edges. Lining his back are clear, wing-like extensions, almost like a dragonfly. His boots and gloves shine the color of gold even in the dark room, somehow giving off a feeling of royalty. Whoever he is, I know I've never met him.

"Who are you," I ask, my voice nearly shivering.

"Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. Did you do something bad before you went on your beauty sleep?"

"I said. Who are you," I repeat, louder this time.

"A rose by any other name would smell just as sweet. You can call me Narke and I've come here, to annihilate you."

"Annihilate me? Why?"

"The weapons first, fighting second," he explains before kicking an object across the ground up to my feet. "You should recognize it. It's your bow." I look down, and between the flashing lights, I can see the shape clearly. It is the same weapon that took away my brothers and sisters. And under the red glow, it looks almost like the sun setting behind the beach. Red water. Bloody water.

"Where are the arrows?"

"You have to make it, like this." He clasps his gloves together in the shape of a ball and starts to pull them apart. Then, in between, a small rod of light forms and shapes until a stair-like sword, four rectangles on top of another, shapes itself. "Talking by nature, silence by wisdom. I much rather finish this quick then waste time with idle words." He spreads his arms and the whole room burst into light. I feel a force pound my chest until I'm lying on the ground, the bow adjacent to me.

Taking the bow in my hand, I hear the sound of our weapons clashing against each other. His strength is weaker than mines and I easily overpower him and push him back. Wordlessly, he points his finger at me, and a light shot out. It scales across the room and hits all the machinery.

The next thing I hear is the sound of explosions covering the room.

* * *

_Extraction 52 percent complete_

_ "I…um…I…"_

_ "Think about it a little. What are we extracting? What does the glitch have to do with it?"_

_ "I know that. I just can't believe it. Could it be a side effect of the DEAMer process? Or maybe just because of increased brain activity? We have to be absolutely sure here!"_

_ "We are not going to terminate the process! That would destroy her mind! You have to keep this a secret at all costs."_

_ "But with her condition, you won't be able to tell what might happen! Her brain might crash and nothing might happen. Or she might die!"_

_ "I understand perfectly. I will take full responsibility if that happens. You will not be in any trouble."_

_

* * *

_

When the winds clear the dust, I can finally see my hand. It comes in two different colors. White, like the uniform everyone in Cnorion has to wear, and clear, sort of like the glass but more like plastic. The bow, the man in the strange armor, and my hand—I've seen this before. My frosted fingers hold onto the bow of sharp waves, and ready to educe death again. The great Arctic ice floe lives alone without trees or animals or friends, because it destroys whatever it touches. This is the exact same feeling I had when I took the third test.

Whatever.

Even if this bow and these hands killed my family, I told myself I can't turn back.

The man watches me through his glass helmet, not smiling nor frowning. But he's not striking. Just standing. Waiting for me to form my weapon and fight back. Closing my hands together, I can't feel anything but the coldness of the snow. I've been playing with it for too long again, I guess. When I pull the hands apart, it reveals the arrow made of ice. Feeling the weight in my hand, I know it'll never fly with a density like this. Dropping the bow and arrow to the floor, I forge a crude sword as my weapon. I'm still at an advantage; I can still overpower him.

We charge at the same time and clash between the rubble. He strikes first and I immediately knock it out of the way. Catching him off guard, I swing the sword at his shoulders when a second sword forms from his other hand. He stabs the first sword with light speed, going through my stomach. Nothing at all. No pain. No blood. Not even a tickle. There's only the feeling of cold where the sword is. Ice is my blood.

I batter my icy weapon at his side, but it's not sharp enough to go through his steel armor. The two swords slices me again, one at the shoulder and the other near the first wound. But still there is no other sensation. He puts his palm where the ice formed and my body flies backwards into the ground. Cranking my neck, I find the gap where my stomach used to be before it fills in itself with ice. What remains is the hole of my uniform and the soft, light flesh. Is it flesh? Or is it ice?

I touch the skin with my hand, and hiss at the cold. My stomach feels real enough. But my hands are still fake and destructive. I stand up and find the man had move farther from me. In his hands is the white light he uses as his weapon. I can remember his palms touching me, and there was a jolt of sort. Can I do that too? Stretching out my hand, I open my palm and gather as much ice into it as possible. I imagine myself holding an arrow, and before I even think about releasing that arrow, an ice crystal flies from my hand. It travels a good thirty meters but misses the man by a mile.

I try to readjust my aim and fire but he catches my hands and shifts it upwards. The arrow rises in the air and shatters by itself. "How do you move so fast," I scream, half scared and half amazed.

"Victory is yours. I concede defeat. Here, come with me."

"With you? Where?" He releases his grip and goes into a portal. I swear it wasn't there a moment ago.

"To see Leol."

"Leol?" He smiles through the glass and bathe himself in the light. As I step forward my hands shake and my legs tremble. Why am I hesitating? Is this some kind of trick? I summon another ice sword for defense and charge through the light nearly bumping into the man in armor. When I finally stop and look around the room, my sword breaks into pieces and rests itself on the floor.

A blast of purity sinks into my thoughts. In one corner, near the door, is the desk. On top is a pile of neatly stacked papers held down by a pen, several color pencils, and an army of crayons. One by one, I move the utensils aside to clear the topmost drawing and sure enough, it was there. Purple spikes, solid net, the sun, the crest, the stars. A gift from Leol, a weapon that killed my family, a past I left behind on my most recent battlefield. A nameless bow called Death and Ice and many other things. I can't help but stare at the artwork and imagine its solid figure in my hands.

"All art is concerned with coming into being...for art is concerned neither with things that are, or come into being, by necessity, nor with things that do so in accordance with nature." When he finishes the quote, there is a quiet air in the room until he closes the door and leaves me to my own. A sudden breath of snow wafts around the room and I have to situate myself on the bed to escape the smell of blood. Another image pops into my head. It's the red water at dusk. Free and vast, never bothered by thoughts or action, misery or sadness, anger or hatred.

Just flowing, living, and existing. And not confined into the same room with the same white bed and the same white walls and the same white memories. But this is not the same room. Merely another copy and paste. This is the third copy I've seen. I take a moment to analyze the room, and come to terms with the feelings I left in the last copy. It'll never be different. That's true. But I can always change. That's true too. During the awards ceremony, Leol told me to live life the way I want to, the way I need to.

I reach for a color pencil and touch the wall. It's possible, I tell myself. And I start to draw. I don't know what I'm drawing, or if I'll ever finish. But as long as I'm drawing something, anything is fine. Right, Mae? Edward? Sean? Kyra? Ryan? Sonata? Teresa? Oh, and Sarah. You don't have to forgive me, I'll forgive you. We can't be family, but at least, we can still be friends, right?

* * *

_Extraction 53 percent complete_

_ "Please Leol! You have to stop! There is no way for you to tell what part of her memory is thirty percent!"_

_ "All the more reason to research deeper!"_

_ "I beg of you, open the door, please!"_

_ "Stop bothering me and go away!"_

_ "What are you doing outside? Shouldn't you be in there?"_

_ "I'm so glad to see you Commander Yang. He locked himself inside the room and wouldn't come out! He wouldn't eat! Please stop him!"_

_ "Leol! Get out, now! I can have you arrested if I open it myself! Hey!"_

_ "What do you want?"_

_ "Why aren't you eating?"_

_ "Look, alright. She has no one. No friends. No family. I am the only person who can do this for her. I need to realize her final wish. It's the last thing I can do to make things right for her."_

_

* * *

_

I only notice the door opened when a different, fresher breeze drifts into the room. Leol stands there, watching carefully at the artwork I drew. And when I face the drawing, all I see are strange lines crisscrossed and curved and arranged in three neat squares. Somehow they remind me of a dream I know I had, but I just don't know. What was I drawing? Where is Mae? And Edward? And their baby? Was it all just a dream?

My sleeping disorder, of course. It has to be playing tricks on me. I sleep walked to the wall, that's all. It's the only explanation. "What have you been doing, squirt? Don't you remember graffiti is a violation of the rules," Leol remarks. "Squirt, are you listening to me?"

"Huh? Yeah, I heard you. I'm wondering. That's all."

"Shui Jing Hua."

"What?" I look at him and expect him to look firm. Rarely, does he go beyond 'squirt' to refer to me, and I can't remember the last time he used my full name, if ever. And when I see his smug and graceful expression, I know he's still the same Leol I remember.

"Hey, no need to look at me that way. I'm only reading your name." Before I have time to protest, he points at the wall. Looking back, I can finally see it. Three syllables. Three sets. Shui Jing Hua. By why is it my name? How do I know to write this? "Is there something wrong?" I ponder the question while staring at the symbols. My heart tells me a million questions, but my mind can't quite put it into words. It's fear. Somehow I'm scared to ask.

"No, there isn't anything."

"That's great, then. For a while I was feeling a bit scared. What say you and me go to the canteen and grab you something to eat? You've been sleeping for so long."

"How long was it?"

"Eh…a week." I react mildly to the answer.

"Can I go to the café instead?"

"No can do, squirt. I've been ordered to get you some real food, not junk. The cafeteria will have to do for now."

"Ok, then. Let's go." I take a last glance at the wall before stepping into the new halls. The first thing I notice is a carpet, bright red with intricate golden edges. In my last two halls, such a thing was unheard of. It was always possible to trace your legs on the smooth marble when the weather grew warm. And the walls never had paintings. I always thought it was an unspoken rule for the walls to lay barren and white. As I travel in my sneakers, I stare more at the chandeliers, than at where I am going. I can't tell for sure, but more or less, they are glass, and they represent my status right now. Higher, definitely. But by how much?

Downstairs, the floor contrasts greatly with upstairs. The same colorless furniture and the same colorless tiles fill the wide lounge space. Below a balcony is the TV surrounded left and right by a random arrangement of tables and sofas and chairs. Above the balcony is a stretch of windows and at the center is a glass door. Through the glass wall, I spot the ever-blue, cloudless sky. This is what you get for living so high up. But if that's the case, then where does the snow come from back in…

I shake myself loose from the thought, and head through without thinking any further. It didn't take long to cross over to the cafeteria, but the turns and twists of the paths leave a confusing impression. After a lunch consisting of veggie ravioli, a bread roll, milk, and grapes, Leol strikes another conversation with me. "Alright squirt, you still want to go to the café?" I have to pause for a second before answering. But when I clear up the emotions swelling within me, I answer with confidence.

"No, not anymore."

"Then, is there anything else you want to do? Something you always wanted to see? Today is entirely dedicated to you. You can do whatever you want."

"I would really like to rest."

"Rest? But you've rested for a week!"

"Please, Leol. Just—" I pause before I finish. It's not right to reject him like this. All he's trying to do is to help me like a friend would. There exists again, the same loneliness I felt back in Cnorion. At that time, it didn't bother me at all, until I discover the friendships in the last months. Between all this confusion with the words on the walls and my uncertain future, I shouldn't really rest. What I need is a friend to cheer me up.

"Um…actually. Ok. I want to go somewhere."

"Great! Where do you have in mind?"

"Um…I'm not sure…" I roll my eyes around to an approaching boy behind Leol.

"Hey! Leol! What's up? Whatcha both talking about," the boy says, pulling a chair from across the table.

"Good timing. We were discussing about Shui Jing here." Leol puts his hands in front of my body like he is presenting me. "It's her day off and she can't decide where she wants to go. You got any good ideas?" The boy examines me with bent lips. It's a weird feeling being looked over like that, but I didn't speak a single word.

"I would say the beach, but she's a little pale."

"Nothing a little sunscreen can't fix."

"Are you sure sunscreen would cover that? She is very pale! It's unbelievable! And I thought I got it pretty rough at the beach." Anhel twists his lips further and press his eyebrows in a scowl.

"Anhel, please don't mention that ever again."

"Why not? It wasn't my fault that someone forgot to bring the sunscreen. I like water, but you know how I react to burns. My skin was like lettuce! You can peel the skin off!" Leol guffaws at the comment, laughing so hard that he takes off the glasses and wipes his eyes with the back of his hand.

"The best part was when Narke started pulling them whenever you weren't looking."

"You know, I liked him better with his spacesuit on."

"Of course." After the conversation dies down, they both turn their attention at me. "Is the beach ok with you?"

"Yeah."

"Alright, then it's settled. We'll meet at the station in an hour." Without leaving another word, Leol heads out of the cafeteria. Anhel shakes his head in disagreement at Leol's back.

"So, where is the station?"

"You don't know? I'll take you there, then, right after we pack up."

"Um…ok. Sure. Where is your dorm?"

"Where is my dorm? You know exactly where my dorm is. We live in the same building, silly! I'm a DEAMer, too."

"DEAMer?"

"It stands for Direct Elemental Anatomy and Manipulation. You know, you can do this." He raises his hands on front of my eyes and wraps one around the other. I look at him, puzzled for a moment until his hands collapses and water splashes over my eyes. My body tumbles to the ground, and I watch the water recollect around his handless wrist. I open my mouth to let out a scream, but nothing comes out of my mouth.

I can do that too. I am a DEAMer, just like him. But I control over the cold. He manipulates the water. "Sorry for freaking you out like that." Anhel stretches out his reformed hand. The fair complexion and five finger shape remains the same, as if nothing happened. When I touch it for the first time, I gasp It doesn't feel like water at all.

Back at the dorms, Anhel waves to me as we split to our individual rooms. I didn't wave back to him or smile back at him. Once I'm at the front of the door, I remember I don't have the key. I look around the floor for someone to help me, unexpectedly bumping into Reina. She has her hair in a bun, and a pen between her lips. Without saying anything verbally, she drops the key in my hand and leaves in a hurry. What is she doing here? Why is she in such a rush?

Maybe I'll ask her later.

After a quick shower, I look around the room for anything I could wear to the beach besides the white uniform I'm left with. But the drawers and the closet only contain copies of the same exact thing. Giving up, I shove a new set from the hanger and toss it over the bed sheets. Then I finally notice it. Embodied upon the white coat is my name in small, dark letters. Shui Jing Hua. Looking back at the wall, I compare the two different scripts. There are two ways to spell my name, one with letters and one with symbols. And the symbolic one is taught to me by my mother, whoever she may be.

I turn to the mirror by the desk and take a look at my collar. Then I check the belt, making sure it's not lopsided. All set, I guess. When I open the door, Anhel's leaning on the opposite wall with a surfboard by his side and his whole attire consists of water proof material. "You took so long just to wear that?" I take a look at myself, from the sneakers up to my sleeves. Comparing myself to him, I instantly know this is a bad idea. For some weird reason I'm making a big deal about how I appear, when for the last couple of years I could care less.

"I showered, too," I quickly refute, hoping he wouldn't notice my embarrassment.

"Showering doesn't take forty minutes, you know?" He shuffles his dirty blonde hair off his eyes, pulling it back with water.

"How would you know? You probably don't have to shower at all!" I yell, blushing further.

"What's with the attitude? Last time I saw you, you were quiet as a mouse." He stares right into my eyes, making me feel weird and out of place. I squeeze myself against the wall, hoping to hide myself with no success. "Well, it's fine to talk. Better than having a zombie joining our group. We should start going, the station is a bit ways from here." He motions for me to follow him. "Hey, about before. I actually shower, but a lot of people think I don't just because I'm water. Water can get dirty too…"

He goes on and on about pointless things about his life. Some of it is funny, like how he reminded me water can't wash sticky stuff without soap. I am supposed to know that by common sense, but I take it for granted so much. Some of his talks are also full of action, like the time when he was surrounded by monsters that were immune to his powers. But the words that got me the most engaged is when he talks about the other DEAMers. All of them sound so cool, and friendly. Pretty soon, they would be my new friends, and I would be going on missions with them.

"…and he threw the ball right into my face. After that I wouldn't talk for a week until he started to act like a monkey. It was so funny, I couldn't stop laughing," Anhel muses.

"Sounds like something Leol would do," I add, imagining Leol acting like an ape.

"Except he would be really bad at it!" We both laugh at the same time. I clutch my stomach and close my eyes to stop myself, but every time it starts to die down, the slightest of movement would start it back up again. My stomach start to hurt from my exertion of energy, finally forcing my mouth shut. But Anhel goes on laughing and laughing, looking like he wouldn't stop anytime soon.

"Oh sorry I'm—," Leol huffs, completely out of breath for running, I suppose. The both of didn't notice him at all until now.

"What's so funny?"

"Oh, nothing. What took you so long? The last departure was twenty minutes ago."

"What? It was?" He looks around the station, finally arriving at the clock above the ticket counter. Six twenty. "Ah, so sorry guys. It took a long time to clean up my files. And you were looking forward to it, too, squirt."

"It's ok," I reply.

"Great. Next time you have a break, I'll go to the beach with you. Promise."

"Next time, tell me you'll be late before I dress up and brought my board," Anhel complains, stepping onto his board. Water shoots out from the floor and carries him out of the station. Leol offers to take me back, but I reject the invitation. I remember how to get back on my own. After he left, I linger at the empty area, reminding myself of all the things Leol done for me. It's too much for one person, but…

Thank you.

* * *

_Extraction 59 percent complete_

"_You're right. I have to eat. I need the energy to continue the research."_

"_So what is all this about?"_

"_It's Shui Jing. There is something she's trying to tell me. She must've been hiding it for too long. Her memories, they are like a breath of regret. It's interfering with the process and caused a glitch to happen. If I can find where in her memories caused the glitch, I might be able to trace the source of her regret."_

"_I've read your reports in my spare time. Even I know that if something wrong sparked in her mind, her powers could kill us all. Her mental condition brings an even greater risk."_

"_Don't tell anyone, please. At least, not until I do this one thing for her."_

"_Even if you solve the mystery, how will she know?"_

"_She will. She's aware. Watch. Shui Jing Hua."_

"_The readings! They're spiking! Leol! You have to do something. We can't let her wake—"_

"_Oh shut up!"_

"_I see. But the extraction?"_

"_It'll continue. I'll make sure no one finds out."_

"_As your partner and commander, I can only cover for you for so long. When the time comes, I will lock you up and put you in jail in accordance to my orders."_

"_Thank you, Yang."_

"_Don't thank me. You have until one hundred percent. You know what will happen then, right?"_

"_I understand. Assistant! Recall Ryan, now! Tell him it's an emergency!"_

_

* * *

_

Mama? I think I need another blanket.

Oh dear. Water child! You're burning up!

Yeah…all this gooey stuff is coming out of my nose.

Don't touch it! I'll clean it up for you.

Thank you, mama. But I can do it myself.

It's dinner time already. Stay right here, I'll make you some porridge.

No, mama! I don't want you to leave! I want you to be here.

I can't do that! If you don't eat, the cold won't go away. Be good and wait for me, I'll be fast.

But mama!

Oh, how I wish I live near the beach. It's nice and sunny there. I hate the cold.

Eh? Then why do you live here?

When I lived in Henesys, I wanted to live somewhere with snow.

_Cold? Snow?_

Another dream. Or is it a memory?

Shui Jing Hua. I check the words one last time before it disappears into the white. "R—Reina? What are you doing in my room?"

"Leol said your room was a mess." She discards a piece of cloth into the trash bin besides the desk. "It's time for breakfast. Everyone is already waiting downstairs." Her high heels tap against the floor as she brings a box into my lap. From the size of it, I can already predict what's inside. The bow. And from the weight of it, all sixteen arrows are still there. And more. Reina looks at me carefully, crossing her hands over her chest. Slowly, I strip off the ribbon and gift wrap and open the box. What I see, then, are piles and piles of clothing organized by color. Shirts, pants, undergarments, socks, mittens, scarves, red, blue, yellow, white, stripes, polka dots, hearts, flowers, birds, and one more. A rough gray shirt that's knitted very closely and heavy to the touch.

"That is a shirt made of yarn from a type of metal. He really cares too much about you," Reina remarks, telling me the gift come from Leol. "Even though it's secondhand, it can block against most projectiles and nullify most types of magic." She has the silent edge of jealousy in her voice at the last words, but from her gaze, it's probably not aimed towards me. Is she jealous of Leol?

I pick out a white tee with a deep blue outline of a blue jay in flight. The wings stretches to the tips of my shoulder, it's body perches across the middle of the loose shirt, and it's head pokes all the way to the back. When I put it on, the bird imprints itself onto my body, and it wings seems to droop, ready to settle. Looking at myself in the mirror, with the shirt and faded jeans, I don't recognize myself anymore. It's still white, but with colors. Reina helps me into the special shirt, the metal fibers of it compress to fit my body and preserve my curves. After a quick face wash and teeth brushing, I cover the shirt with a solid gray hoodie.

Downstairs, I meet Narke, the man I fought against right after I awaken. Without his armor, he looks like a sickly young adult. His skin is a bleak pale peach and his spiky bangs droops darkly as if his hair had died. Even his solid, dull clothing reflects his dying nature. If anything is lively in him, it is the eyes, shining with bright intelligence and brimming with overflowing understanding. "My name is Gaelizulge Narke, DEAMer of light," Narke says, holding out a hand. For a moment, I blank out while shaking his hand. I don't know if it has to do with his posture or his voice or my previous encounter with him, but something about him seems invitingly spooky.

"Um…my name…uh…Shui Jing, DEAMer of…ice," I stumble, whispering the last word.

"If you're not used to being so formal, you don't have to. My family was aristocratic, so it is a habit of mines." He lets go of his hand and the both of us begin for the cafeteria. On the way, only Reina and Narke converse, while I watch him talk and laugh and smile. I brush my hand as I walk, as if there is dirt stuck on it. And then I realize it now. Narke's hand feels too false. He's a DEAMer, yes, and my hand feels false. But this is different. There is no warmth, no feeling, only a single touch that didn't exist at all.

Thoughts of that time come into my head. The time when I was in the snow, lying on the ground. My bow was in front of me, and I pick it up. Then I released an arrow, somehow, and it killed Mae. She lets go of her own arrow, and it flew past me, hitting Sarah. Then it was complete fear. Everything just starts to melt in front of me. I can't take it. I…I…I…

"Shui Jing! Shui Jing! Shui Jing!" I spot the eggs and bacon on a plate on a table. A cup of water spilled over, soaking my jeans. Reina breathes next to my ear, her arms covering my shoulder blades. She appears in shock and at the same time composed.

The morning sun stings my eyes and the yellow spills over the polished table. I see an image flash across the table, but I can't make out what it is. It is like a magician's magic, except the magic only lasted for a moment in space.

"I remember something. But I don't know what it is. It's hurting my head."

"Don't try too hard," Narke says, enunciating each word in a mesmerizing tone. "When you sleep for too long, you'll start to forget things. For thou dost forget misery, as waters passed away thou rememberest. Don't try to remember things that would only hurt you."

"Narke's right. Don't start to dig for your memories," Anhel says, "or you'll give yourself a headache. Just relax."

"But I know this is important. I have to remember it! I know I have to. It's too important," I protest.

"Leveled heart and calm breathing solves problems. Calm down a little. Or you'll start blurting things out randomly. Like Anhel."

"Hey, don't start blurting my things out!" Anhel's chair scoots against the floor as Narke leaves with his plate. "Where are you going? Come back here!" His face brightens as red as a tomato and Narke responds by producing an apple.

"Eat it, plant the seeds, and keep the doctor away." Narke releases the apple and Anhel catches it with both hands. "Oh and the color suits you. Matches with the face." Narke glows bright like the sun and disappears in the speed of light, leaving the plate. Anhel catches it in time with his water before proclaiming he'll find him.

"You're smiling," Reina giggles. From the way my cheek muscles are moving, I guess I am. But I have a strange smile. Wait. How do I know that? Did someone tell me that, and I forgot about it? "Would you like the day off? I'll contact Leol right away."

"N…no need! I feel fine. Today is supposed to be my first day. I don't want to miss the missions." As I leave the chair with my plate, I continue to have the same image of Sarah and Mae, but as I try to go further, all that's left is the colorless snow and a pain in my cheeks.

Maybe I really should calm down. It's probably useless.

* * *

_Extraction 60 percent complete _

"_Can I ask you something?"_

"_Go ahead."_

"_What will happen at one hundred percent?"_

"_Her mind will collapse and disintegrate. She'll become essentially pure Mana, and we'll all die in the blink of an eye."_

"_What? How is that possible? Aren't we just extracting her memories? Shouldn't her mind calm down the more we pull from her?"_

"_But remember, she is awake and aware. If you were having your memories extracted, and you know it is happening, and that creates new memories, what do you think would happen? At best, you'll ignore fate. But, that glitch tells me she wouldn't give in so easily."_

"_B…b…but! We have to stop it right now! It's too dangerous! It's like working with a bomb!"_

"_No one is stopping it, except for me. If it comes to it, I'll personally pull the plug on her, but not until I figure out what she wants me to know."_

"_Hello, Leol. Long time no see. What did you call me for?"_

"_Ryan, good timing. There is something I need to ask."_

"_Ask? It better not be something about her. You know how much I hate her."_

"_It is."_

"_Then I'm outta here! If it weren't for her, Kyra wouldn't be—"_

"_Just give it a rest! Serenade said she'll wake up soon enough."_

"_And you want me to trust that half-man half-woman monster! If you ask me, the Knights are made up of nothing but people like him."_

"_Be quiet! Do you want to get yourself killed?"_

"_I can say whatever I want, and whatever I don't want! If anyone tries to hurt me again, I'll burn them to the ground!"_

"_The only one hurting you is yourself. You know it was your ignorance that hospitalized Kyra. You were the one that taught her suicide."_

"_I always knew you were scary. Fine, ask me anything. But if I don't want to answer it, then I am getting out of here."_

"_Then let's start off with the first time you met her."_

_

* * *

_

Heavy breathes fill the air as I reach my limit. My motionless body tenses when the Desert Giant, a monster made from sand, positions its arm for the next attack. I can hear the beat of my heart as I lift up the melting spire. A large shadow cast over my eyes, sharpening the image of the monster. I grip the ice harder in front of me and hear a crack in my weapon. The sun glares into my eyes again as the wind cracks, signaling the attack. Staring right into the incoming fist, I beg for someone, anyone to save me.

As the blow swings closer and closer, it stops. The shadow dissolves little by little, until the last dust particle is overtaken by the winds. At the same time Narke opens the water canteen, I collapse into the grainy, solid earth. The sands bury slowly over the bird until Narke stands in front of the sun, against the winds. He pours water over my cheeks and dumps the sunblock over my stomach.

"Haste will do you no good. Mentally or physically, patience would yield the greatest reward," Narke advises, smiling weakly. Resting my fingers across the water, I only manage to lower the temperature of the water, not freeze it. I need water to freeze in order to control ice. Without water nearby, all I have is my body and the full canteen. When Neinheart passed the mission to us, Narke told me stimulated weakness postulates strength. And Anhel told me the search for the some temple in the middle of the desert isn't the true goal to the mission. The true goal was to train me.

"I'll be quick," I quip, not taking his proverbs into consideration. Using the towel, I wipe off the mixture of water, sweat, and sand off my face and arms before reapplying the sunscreen again.

"I found an oasis a mile from here, we'll rest there. It's secluded in between the sand dunes, so no one can find us." We silently start for the water, not moving too fast or too slow. Narke's pace. Slow and steady wins the race. The monsters stalk along a far distance, their empty eyes fearful of the pale-faced boy guarding me. At the oasis, the Desert Giants still observes us as I fill myself with water. "Pitaya?" He puts down two halves of a fruit in my hands. I look at the food suspiciously, thinking how he could've brought fruit along. It's not like we brought a backpack or anything.

"Where did it come from?"

"I grew it." He dismisses casually .

"Oh." I dig my fingers and pull out a piece of fruit. "Wait! What did you mean by grew?" Narke cups the air with his hands. Along his thumb, a green, almost yellow, string emblazes the pale skin. That's where I notice it. His nails are shaped like hearts with visible veins running underneath. And looking closely at his hair, some of it is thicker than others. Looking back at his hand, the green image at his thumb rises out of the skin, moving and stretching. The string branches off differently, uniformly creating the shape of a bare fir tree. Purple spheres pop out from the ends of each branch until the fruit is complete. Grapes. I put my hand on the packet of round fruit, feeling the plumpness that comes with water and the tenderness that comes with flesh. It's real.

Facing Narke again, I gasp when his hair changes color from raven black to bright green. The thick strands of yellow separate the fibers into sections and shapes. Leaves. He takes his time removing his article of clothing, dumping the shirt and pants in the sun. A vague, almost imaginary white-gray skin stretches over his sleek body like the skin of an apple. But the most amazing thing about him isn't his dis-proportioned stature or the color of his skin—it is the still heart protruding on the outside of his chest. Almost, I can hear the beating of the outside heart. And the last thing I see with his transformation is the sharpening of his ears, and the shedding of eyebrows and eyelashes. The eyes, formerly black, fills with the pigment of grapes. His skin changes color, giving him a green, closefitting shirt, and white pants.

"In your language, you would call me a plant," Narke says, positioning his hand on his heart. "But to me, I am Breath. My people are the lungs of the moon. And Gaelizulge Narke means 'breezes of the self.' Or…" He gazes into my eyes.

"I…I…I…," I stutter, thinking of a way to ignore his monstrous abilities. But the more I try to ignore it, the more confusion covers my thoughts.

"Shui Jing! Are you ok?" There is just enough time for Narke to catch me as I collapse into his arms.

_Where are you, water child?_

_Mama? I'm here! Look! There are a lot of Snow Roses here! I'll get one for you._

_No! Don't go near them! The thorns are poisonous!_

_Poisonous? But the healer picks these all the time._

_She has the antidote, so she doesn't mind. But if you don't, the poison would cause you to fall asleep._

_Eh? Really! Mama! Mama? Where are you, mama? Mama! You're hurt! What are you saying? Help! Help! Huh?_

_Let go of me?_

I wake up with a start. Tumbling over to the desk, I quickly throw a volley of color pencils around the table and start working on the picture. Yellow, peach, yellow, black, yellow, white, yellow, yellow, yellow. I take the black and jab it at the face, trying to remember the features of the person. But it's too late. I lost it. Ugh! I lost it! I lost it! I lost it! I lost it! But I have to remember who it is! Mama? Where are you? Who are they?

A deep sense of loneliness weighs in my eyes as cold tears run down one drop at a time. I cry and look at man with disgusting yellow hair one last time and roll it into a ball and throw it into the trash.

"_What are you saying?"_

"_I'm saying that, they lied to us..."_

"_Yeah, they lied about that. So what? It's a white lie."_

"_But why lie…" Pause. "Don't tell me you never thought of this."_

"_Well…no, I didn't. Why should I?"_

"…_then suddenly we were brought here and they taught us to read and write and fight. There's something very wrong here!"_

"_What could be wrong? They gave us a home and food and even a family. You—"_

"_They're not even your real family! They are kids just like us who's been lied to!"_

"_So what? You're happy! And I'm happy! Everyone is happy with the way things are! You're being too sensitive!"_

Huh? Where? Where does this conversation come from? Lied? Who lied? Family? Argh!

A discreet fist bangs on my door and the door cracks open by itself. Lightly squeezing her head through the opening, Reina smiles and waves before revealing the rest of her body. "Oh, you're awake," she exclaims, fruitfully excited. She dances to the desk and pulls me down the stairs.

"Whoa. Where are you taking me," I ask. She didn't seem to have heard me so I try again, "Reina! Where are you taking me?"

"No time for questions." Her voice sings and hums. Outside, the sun is already at dusk, giving a familiar scent of darkness. Even so, she insists on dragging me down a stretch of road to a familiar café. Reina taps on the glass window and tells me to look through in a sing-song voice. I remember a lot in that moment. A lady, with her back facing the window, works on the next order for the customer. When she turns, I nearly call out her name. But once I get a clear view of her face, I know she isn't Teresa. But who could she be? A new student?

The single customer takes the dessert with him to the table and notices me once he settles on a chair. Upon seeing me, he happily motions for me to go in. Clutching the handle, I sense the numerous other times I opened this door coming back to me. Six months. Every day, afterschool, Mae and I go to the café. The three of us were the best friends; nothing will ever separate us. And we always talk about useless things between cookies and cake.

Wait…three? A disgusting taste slowly finds its way to my tongue, coloring the memories of my friends. Mae, me, and someone else? Someone special, someone around me. He…can't be Ryan, can he? Ryan always gets into trouble, so he isn't always there. And this person, this boy, he was always there, sitting next to me. It feels so sour to think about him, but I was laughing and smiling whenever he was there. Why would I forget about him if he is in all my happy memories? J…Ja…Jas…Jay. His name was…Jay?

"Hello! Earth of Shui Jing," Anhel snaps, slurring my name in annoyance. He presses his head on the glass door, squashing his nose and cheeks into an unrecognizable blob. I'm not in the mood for laughing, so I enter without changing my expression. He seems to notice that and returns to his seat, digging deeper into his order, sky blue ice cream. A new flavor. Did Edward tell me that? Or…Jay? "Reina sure was in a hurry. Do you think she has a date?"

Upon hearing the word "date," my mind shifts from Jay to Leol. I remember hearing from somewhere that Reina liked him. Before. "Who do you think he might be?" I ask, sounding too casual.

"Your guess is as good as mines." He remarks, sound too sarcastic to be Anhel. Upon seeing my confusion, he quickly shifts the subject, "Do you know why she brought you here?"

"Why?"

"Because a certain someone wanted to see you, but he didn't want to call you himself. Speaking of which, where is he?"

"The owner is answering a call. He'll be back soon," the employee behind the counter informs, wiping the dough off her apron.

"The owner? The owner of the shop," I ask, wondering why the owner would want to speak with me. As I recall, I've never even met the guy. I guess rich owners don't have to work at his own store.

"Yeah. Narke owns the shop. Being the third DEAMer does have its quirks. That guy beat me by a year." Narke. The sudden mention of his name reminds me of his true form. A disgusting, misshapen human lacking the hair a human should have. His voice, dead and dying, resounds in my mind as I remember how captivating it was. A wispy image of Jay flashes in my head. Somehow they are alike. Their hairs are just the same: disgusting, dying. "I heard he freaked you out a little. He really shouldn't have."

"What does he want?" I ask, not knowing if by fear or anger.

"I don't know, really. Since he spilled the beans on his identity, I guess I might as well too."

"You're not human either?"

"I'm human. Except that, I'm actually an adult." My mouth opens in surprise.

"Wow, you're short."

"What? No! I'm not short! I'm taller than you." I take a look at his legs. If that chair is any higher, he wouldn't even touch ground.

"By an inch?"

"What? Not by an inch! I'm taller than that! I have to be! You're making this harder than it should be!"

"Making what harder?"

"Just listen, alright. I'm using my water powers to keep myself looking like this."

"Why would you do that?"

"There is someone I will see again one day. But I want her to be able to recognize me when that time comes. That is why I have to keep myself young."

"Then…is Narke also keeping himself young?" For some reason this question takes Anhel by surprise. He diverts his eyes and moves the spoon around the ice cream.

"I don't know really. He's already a high-ranked Knight after I joined. Actually, no, I heard from somewhere that he is an ex-GM Elite member. That means he drank from the fountain of youth or something. That's what everyone says."

"GM?" In Cnorion, I heard a lot of things about them. "Who are they?"

"Who are they? No one taught you that," Anhel exclaims, a clear irritation in his words. "They are the reason I'm here and not with my teacher. All they do is bully her and make her life hell. And there is no way for her to escape them unless someone stronger saves her. They're evil! I joined the Knights because they want to rid the world of GMs."

The doorbells jingles as another customer comes in. I watch Narke's movements. The eyelashes flicker in accordance with the wind, and his legs tread the tiles carefully. He put himself into clothes, disguising his heart from the eyes of the beholder. Everything he does and everyway he looks is human. Therefore, he is a living lie. He isn't human. He doesn't eat like we do. Talk like we do. Or feel like we do. That feeling of fakeness in his hands, and the resonance of his voice is the traits of a plant. A dying plant. A talking plant. A monster plant.

"Are you scared of me?" Narke sighs. A gripping breath finds its way into my lungs, choking me. Somehow, I have a feeling he's mentally choking me with his appearance. Or maybe, since he controls over Light, he is already having an effect on me just as we speak.

"I have to go," I say, raising my voice. Ducking my eyes from his sight, I dodge towards the door, bumping a man behind Narke. For a moment, the man gaze crosses over with mines. Another image comes into mind. This time I'm next to the snow roses and my mother is lying next to a tree. From behind, the strong arms belonging to a man tighten around my body like a python. And turning back, I see the same thick, silver bangs and angry look.

"Yang Ignotch, long time no see. Here for some ice cream?" Before he can speak a single word, I head out of the door, and run blindly through the air.

"_I've been thinking about this home. I don't think we can trust them."_

"…_The Outside isn't really polluted, right? We both know that. Everyone knows that by now."_

"…_Why would they keep us in Cnorion?"_

"_Because they are hiding something from us! We were raised in Cnorion…"_

_

* * *

_

_Extraction 67 percent complete…GLITCH…GLITCH_

_ "Pretend that nothing is wrong and that we're on a normal coffee break."_

_ "But how am I supposed to relax when—"_

_ "Be quiet! You cannot say anything about Shui Jing!"_

_ "How can you be so calm when we might die any second now?"_

_ "Because I am not calm. The best poker face is made when you can convince yourself a lie is true. I'm pretending nothing is wrong."_

_ "I don't know. This is dangerous. Maybe we should just quit before—"_

_ "Didn't I just tell you to be quiet?"_

_ "It's too hard! I'm so scared that something might happen! I don't want to die! I didn't sign up for this!"_

_ "Go away! Shoo! If you won't shut up, leave! Now! I don't want to see your face!"_

_ "Leol."_

_ "Anhel, how unexpected."_

_ "I heard from Yang about the situation. There's something I left out in my report that I didn't mention."_

_ "What is it?"_

_ "Well, since I have the ability to draw out the real emotions of people, I sensed something with Shui Jing. Since the first time we met, I could feel a lot of guilt and confusion in her. I didn't think it was significant, but after the incident…"_

_ "You think she was a traitor from the very start?"_

_ "I would think you figured it out before I did. But I guess you were blinded by your love for her."_

_ "Nonsense! The reason I don't suspect her is because I know her!"_

_ "Do you? You call her daughter, but yet, how many times have you actually seen her? But even if you did, I don't think it would make much of a difference. The way she turned out, everyone had a role in it. If anyone can help her, it's you. Good luck."_

_ "You're going to go?"_

_ "As much as I have confidence, I wouldn't want to be here when she explodes."_

_

* * *

_

"Good morning, Shui Jing."

"Morning, Anhel."

"You look a bit tired. Did you get a good sleep last night?"

"Huh? Um…yeah."

"Is something wrong? If there's anything going on, you can tell me. I can help you, you know?"

"Oh, I'm fine. It's nothing."

"Alright. Just call me if you need me."

"Actually, Anhel. Can I ask you something, but promise to keep it a secret."

"My lips are sealed."

"Can you tell me all you know about Yang?"

"Yang, why do you need to know about him?"

"Answer me, please. You don't need to know why, right?"

"It's just too vague. Well, I know he is Commander, and uh….he likes to take his day-offs around the café. I don't really know much besides that."

"How about when he joined?"

"Uh…I'm not too sure on that."

"Then I have another question. Have you ever seen someone with blonde hair?"

"Shui Jing, I've seen lots of people with blonde hair."

"Um, well, the color hurts your eyes. It's like the color of vomit."

"Mmm, doesn't ring a bell. Have you seen someone like that?"

"Sorta."

"I'm going to go down right now, want to come with me?"

"I'll go down later."

"Ok."

* * *

_Extraction 72 percent complete…GLITCH…GLITCH_

_ "Hey, he's watching us."_

_ "He does that, no worries. Remember to lie to yourself."_

_ "Ok. Act casual. I'll remember that."_

_ "What's in your mind?"_

_ "Huh? Nothing. I'm not thinking anything."_

_ "Fine, then. Enjoy the coffee."_

_ "…"_

_ "What's taking those two so long?"_

_ "…"_

_ "Oh, there they are. James, Narke! Right here!"_

_ "Leol, what! You're actually out of your lab? I don't believe it! It's the end of the world!"_

_ "James, lame jokes would get you nowhere. He who talks is knowledgeable. He who listens is wise. It's simple, really. Not that you'll get it."_

_ "What are you blabbering about now? You calling me stupid! Last I check, you're the third DEAMer! I don't have to take orders from you."_

_ "Hence you're the fool."_

_ "I'll show you who's the fool when my darkness conquers your light!"_

_ "Darkness? Can it really conquer the light? No. It can only hinder the light. But in the end, it is light that conquers all. Therefore, the sun rises even at the darkest point of night."_

_ "You are going to start making sense right now!"_

_ "Guys! We're not here to fight! Quiet down!"_

_ "Tch. We'll settle this later."_

_ "I called the both of you here about Shui Jing. You both were the last to work together with her. And the both of you were also with Jason at the time. I need to know as much details as possible."_

_ "You know, now that you mention it, those two were pretty close together. They seem like a cute couple."_

_ "No, I don't think so. After your mission with her, I eavesdropped on them. She seems genuinely afraid of Jason. As for the reason, I still can't quite put my finger on it."_

_ "She was afraid of Jason?"_

_ "Maybe she knew something we don't. The incident is one big mystery. I doubt anyone knows the answer."_

_ "Hey, Leol. I think, maybe, Jason was using Shui Jing and she found out? Maybe that's why she was so scared."_

_ "Whoa, your assistant makes some crack pot theories."_

_ "No, he could be right. That's one possibility we can explore. But since it's not in my area, I'll let you figure it out, Leol."_

_ "Well, I'll go too, enjoy the coffee."_

_ "Hey, Leol. What do we do now?"_

_ "Let's go back."_

_

* * *

_

No dream last night. Yesterday, I went on a training mission with Anhel and afterwards, I was allowed the rest of the day to myself. I didn't talk to anyone that day, except to Anhel in the morning. He didn't know too much, or he could've just lied to me. Counting his age, he has to be a Knight for at least six years. But I trust he wouldn't lie to me. That I knew.

I also tried my best to recall back to that time, but I still couldn't imagine his face. Then, I got to thinking that maybe the reason I don't see his face is because I don't know how he looks like. All I saw was the hair. First it was blonde, and then it was silver. And I saw silver after I saw Yang. That was when it dawned to me. Everything was a figment of my imagination. It all made sense. I could easily imagine the kidnapper to be anyone. Anhel, Narke, even Leol. It was just a bad dream that I had. It's not even real.

My name. Being sick. Her delicate warmth. It's all a lie. I must've known how to write my name in another language from somewhere else. Maybe in Cnorion and I just forgot. My sleep disorder does that to me. That can also explain the vomit hair. Other than some made up person, who in this world has that hair color? Exactly, no one.

So Shui Jing. It's ok. No matter how real things seem, it is only your mind playing tricks on you.

I hear the knocking on the door and Reina's voice. She wants me to be down by five minutes—just enough time to dress, but not enough to brush my teeth. Picking out a relaxing top with a shirt-size happy face design, and a pair of shorts, I quickly dress up and rush down the stairs. Reina's checking her watch by the time I'm down. I'm guessing that means the schedule today is going to be busy.

"It's seven already. Where could he be?" Reina mumbles, redoing her bun.

"Where could who be?" I ask, causing her to jump from my sudden voice.

"Oh, you're down already. We're going to have a new member. I think he's someone you've been dying to see."

"Who is he?" Reina slips a pen in her hair and points right behind me. Up there, on the top of the stairs is him. Someone old. Someone new. Someone I remember. Someone I forgot. Blonde hair. Brown eyes. A weird smile on his face. It's him. I don't know him, but I do.

The headaches return, stronger than last time. It's devastating my brain, but I struggle to stand as he walks down the stairs step by step. Creaks from the wood. An outstretched hand.

"It's been a while, Shui Jing. You still remember me?" And then all goes dark.

J… Of course I remember your name.

_"Sorry. Did you get some cold stuff to show me?"_

Ja… Memories coming back to me uncontrollably.

_"Yeah! It would be like the ocean in the sunset!"_

Jas… Even those I didn't know existed.

_"There are many things I want to protect, that's all. And there are many things I want to know and only strong people can discover them."_

Jaso… They all return to me little by little.

_"I've been thinking about this home. I don't think we can trust them."_

Jason… How can I ever forget about you?

_"Shui Jing! I—"_

Jason Cerge.

I open my eyes. The first thing I see is him, brushing his delicate fingers over my smooth, glassy cheeks. It's soft, and warm, and full of reminiscences. Jason Cerge. I remember you now. You are my best friend for as long as I can remember. Since Cnorion. Since this home. And even now, you returned to me. I have to make sure you are real. If you are just another piece of my imagination, I don't know what to do anymore.

Cradling his waist and arms, I find he lost a little weight. But I don't want to ask him why. Or where. Or what. Or when. Or who. Or how. Because if I do, he might vanish right in front of me. I can't let that happen. He is my last family member and the joy he brings me is happier than the bitter loneliness I feel without him. I reach for his head, reaching even when he pulls away. Reaching until I can't reach anymore.

"Come closer, please," I beg.

"I can't. I'm the DEAMer of lightning now. I'll hurt you." My reaching hand falls flat on the bed. I get it. I'm the DEAMer of ice. He can electrocute me since I'm a form of water. But I can't let that stop me. It's something we've never done before. But I don't want to ask for permission. This moment, I'm afraid to let it go. I cup my hands around his. His gloves are wet from brushing my face, but they are still so warm. It's hot.

"This is enough. I'll be warm forever. As long as you are here, you can be my heater. And I'll always feel cold, just for you, even when I'm not."

"What are you talking about?" Jason laughs, but keeps his hands where they should be. Carrying his warmth up to my face, I rub the frozen tears along the glove. This is the second time I neglected your warmth. The first time, I thought our friendship meant nothing. You were the boy who just happened to hang out with the lonely girl. The second time, I forgotten all about you and thought you were unimportant to me. Sorry, Jason. Forgive me.

The door pushes open and we release our hands before Reina comes in. She has the quiet look on her face and her movements reflect that. Her shoes don't tap against the floor anymore. I look down and spot a pair of sneakers. Then I remember. This morning, she wasn't hearing her heels either. And not only that, she somehow lost her energetic vibe. Just two days ago she was excited the whole day, jumpy even. It's baffling to see Reina so different today. Jason gives me a strange look, telling me he doesn't recognize her either.

"You're awake," she states, her voice sending a sharp chill down my back. "There is a mission for the both of you."

"But she just woke up!" Jason objects.

"And she rested for that long. Sorry, I don't make the rules."

"Then tell me who makes them!" I tug on his sleeve and when he turns, I shake my head. It's ok. I feel fine. "You sure?" I nod. "Alright, we'll do it." Jason says without diverting his eyes from mines. Reina leaves an envelope on the bedside and dismisses herself. "I guess I can't really convince you to say no," he remarks before opening the file. I smile, but I remember now. He thinks I look scary when I do that.

I notice the setting sun and say, "What time is it?"

"You slept for twelve hours. It's seven."

"Oh. Where have you been all this time?"

"It has been over a week, hasn't it? I saw you sleeping in ice, and Leol said you would grow stronger than me. I wanted in on that, too, so I signed up for being a DEAMer."

"No, I don't mean that. I mean, during a graduation ceremony! What happened to you? No one could find you! Not even Leol or Reina knew where you were!"

"Hey, calm down. I had things to think about."

"Things? Were you still mad at me for what I did?"

"Yeah. But then, I thought, we're friends, like it or not. And I choose to like it. And when I decided to become a DEAMer, I remembered something. During the second test, I wasn't quick enough. I couldn't jump into the portal because I was wounded. And you had to fight all the others so your team can live. If I was there, I would also choose to kill Mae." When he finishes, the room turns into silent glass. This is the first time he accepted my decision. I never once thought it was the right thing to do. But with just a little bit of talking, he lifts the guilt within me and made it his own.

Still, I can recall that time. It'll haunt me for the rest of my life, and stay with me the same way arms and my legs will. And maybe, I'll have to face the memory again and again. And I'll need Jason to be by my side whenever the nightmares repeat in my dreams.

"Jason, I'm scared," I whisper.

"Of what?"

"A lot of things. The dark memory and losing you and being lost." He opens his mouth in wonder, maybe rethinking about who I am. I didn't know there is a side of me that would one day depend so much on one person. He probably didn't either.

"Actually," Jason sighs, "I'm scared of these things too. But I don't really want to think about those anymore. The most important thing to me is getting answers. That is why I want to keep growing stronger."

"Answers? What answers could you possibly need?"

"Like, why am I in Cnorion? Why did they force us to do all these things?" I listen to the sharpness of his voice and allow the implications to sink in. Despite everything he has now, he still doesn't trust this home?

"Why would you need answers to that?" I retort, giving him the same sting he given me. He takes it painfully, and his eyes look every which way, trying to stall the answer.

"I told you before. There is something very strange happening. I need to know why."

"And why is—" I stop and stare in bewilderment. He's angry. And I can't lose him. If somehow my question turned out to be offensive, he might leave me, even for a moment. I don't want to risk that.

"Go ahead. Say what you want. I don't want you to bottle up your feelings anymore," Jason commands and goes on to explain, "you always looked like you are trying to bear everything to yourself. If you are, then stop. I need to know what you are thinking."

"Jason…I…I don't want you to know what I'm thinking. I'm not done sorting everything yet. I'll tell you once I'm done."

"If you need time, then I'm fine with it. It's almost eight; we have to get ready for the mission." The mission! I almost forgot.

"Why is it so late at night?"

"Who knows? It says we need to dress up casually and meet someone at the station. Do you want to go now?"

"Sure."

"Last one there is a rotten egg!" He gives me a strange look before dashing out of the room in the speed of light. Well, I'm not about to lose to him! Jumping into the sneakers, I sprint after him, through the door, down the stairs, across the grassy field outside. Even with his head start, I easily catch up to him five minutes after the race started. Is he going easy on me? I speed up my pace, forcing him to do the same. The sunset glares sweat over our faces, but neither one of us is willing to slow down. Rather, we continue to accelerate faster and faster. Our shoes slides across the smooth floor of the station, right before we hit the wall. The station was empty; it already passed the last flight.

I've never ran this fast before—maybe being a DEAMer increases your stamina. "I was first," I proudly announce. I'm fairly certain he lost by an inch when we stepped in. "So what do I get?"

"You get a—" Jason starts, but is cut off by a gruff and low-pitched voice from the second floor balcony.

"Are the both of you the DEAMers of ice and lightning?" A golden dragon lies on his dark robes and a red sash circles his waist, giving him a sense of strength. The single row of spikes traveling from forehead to nape further shows off his power. His hands hover off to the side of his body in fists; his eyes slant and squint. Somehow, they radiate a feeling of danger.

"Yeah," I yell and he shoots down the stairs onto the mosaic floor.

"Catch." He throws a small, green object the size of a golf ball. I catch it easily and roll it around my fingertips. It's completely smooth and without blemishes in its color. It could be a marble, or a precious gemstone. "James Beckham's the name. I'm the DEAMer of darkness."

"Shui Jing Hua, DEAMer of ice."

"Jason Cerge, DEAMer of lightning."

"Alright, now that we got the intros out of the way, follow me. And hold onto that stone. You'll need it." We climb a set of stairs on to opposite side of the station. James stay several steps ahead of us while we go at a slow pace, still tired from the run. Jason focuses himself on the station; I don't think he stepped in here before. I only did once, and I barely remembered it. From the outside, you would imagine another white, marble building. But once you step in, you can follow the red carpet to any corner of the caramel cream interior. Downstairs is the ticket area, along with several café and a gift shop. Upstairs is a miniature mall selling clothes, accessories, and everyday items.

Near the station exit, I see a clear view of the sky. The sun had already set under the clouds, leaving only a starry, starry night. Moonless. And freezing. I can feel the cold breeze, and it is very cold up in the clouds. But I don't feel cold. It's like my nerves doesn't react to the cold anymore. No goose bumps. No shivering. Maybe, since some people aren't bothered by warm, I'm not bothered by cold.

"What is the mission about?" I ask when there isn't anything good to see. "Is it another training mission?"

"Training mission? Have you guys been on training missions lately?"

"We're new."

"What? They gave me two newbies for the mission?"

"Apparently," Jason says, "we were DEAMers for only the past few days."

"Past few days? You're serious!" He stomp his feet on the ground and gives us an annoying look. "Ok, change of plans. Just to make sure nothing goes wrong, the both of you are going to follow my lead, understand?"

"We're following you already," Jason says. I tug at his sleeve, and whispers,

"What do you think is the deal with him?"

"Dunno," he whispers back, "but I think we should listen to what he has to say."

"So how good are the both of you at stealth?" James inquires.

"Um, well," I mumble, thinking back to my days during training.

"Do you think you guys are at ninja level or something?" Jason and I swing our glances around and tap our feet on the ground. When we didn't answer James asks, "Did the both of you did any sneaking around during your training?"

"We know what stealth means. But I haven't really tried sneaking around. I'm the DEAMer of lightning, so Leol said it's not my style. I'm more of a one-on-one kind of guy."

"Oh, right…" James's expression darkens. "Hold on. I need to make a phone call." Jason gives me his confused look and I shrug. "Hey! Narke you son of a bitch… What do you mean Neinheart approved it… Do you know how much I'm screwed if things went wrong… Fuck you!" He chucks the phone off the edge of the platform and into the sky.

"Your phone!" I reach out thinking I can catch it. Not a chance.

"Never mind that! They'll just issue a new one. Dammit! They sent me on some crap mission." He punches the pillar repetitively while yelling a round of cussing. When he is done he shouts, "Ok. It seems this is going to be a training mission for the both of you. But it's going to be a little extreme. So I need to set some guidelines. First, I am known as the Stealth Knight and it's my job to teach the both of you about stealth. Second, if somehow, one of you messes up, I'm not going to save either of you. Whatever happens is tough luck, got it?"

"Aren't you supposed to be our mentor?" Jason grumbles, his volume between a shout and a scream. James frowns darkly.

"I didn't sign up to be a mentor. I didn't mind if I got people fresh off training, but instead they thought I meant fresh off the grill. And this wasn't supposed to be a training exercise either. They probably didn't take it seriously when I told them it's time to bomb the hellhole."

"Bomb? Are you planning to hurt a lot of people?"

"Look, the place we're bombing is called Ludibrium Castle, alright. There are not enough people there to cry over."

"So there are people there! I'm not going to blow up people!"

"Jason," I speak up and when he relaxes, I continue, "let's do it. I'm ready."

"What are you saying? You're actually going through with this!"

"Why shouldn't we? I don't see anything wrong with setting up a few explosives."

"People are going to get hurt! That's what's wrong!"

"We don't even know them. Why are you like this just because we might hurt strangers?"

"Like what? Angry? You might think it is fine, but I don't."

"Guys, girls, listen to me," James says, positioning himself between us. "The goal of this is to cause a panic, nothing serious. We don't have to blow people up." Jason thinks about the ides for a few seconds.

"I'll do it. But I still don't like it."

"No one expects you to like it as long as you do it. We don't look for positive behavior. We want results. So with that in mind," James lifts a green marble up to our faces, prompting me to check if mines is still in my clasp. Comparing them side by side, they are identical in color, shape, and size. In the dark platform, the marble becomes a dark, almost mysterious black instead of its shimmering green. "We should get going immediately. From the look on your faces, I'm guessing you never used one of these." James laments, playing the marble with his fingers. "Just hold out your hand and it'll do the rest." He turns around and demonstrates, pointing his hands into the distance. A million dots of light flutter around the area until they gather into an oval sphere. Most of the lights were bright diamonds, but where the moonlight reaches it, you can find hints of rubies and emeralds. Eventually the lights flip over like a curtain and disappear into the night until all that remains is a winged creature.

I gape at its size. It was big. And blue. But mostly big. No, it's large. Gigantic. It lifts its head, scaring me into the back of a pillar. It stares at me with eyes as large as a basketball, and fluff its wings to straighten the bristles. James climbs from the rear up to the base of the elongated neck. The bird lets out a quiet, bone-chilling hum before screaming, "Caw!" and takes flight into the skies. It levitates off the platform. James's waiting for me to summon it.

"You do it," I utter, trying to be as quiet as possible. Hopefully, Jason doesn't detect the fear in my voice and the shuddering of my hands as I give the stone to him. It's funny how I expected a station to travel through flying trains or levitating airships. If I went on the beach trip, would I be riding on a bird too? I shiver at the thought. It's too big, and it doesn't look comfortable enough to sit on. I have to find out how Narke makes those portals.

"Hello? Earth to Shui Jing!" Huh? I turn to the direction of the voice to only find a vast, night sky.

"Wah!" I scream when I feel the bird flying below me. Somehow I'm on the bird without remembering it. "How did I get here?"

"I think the girl blanked out on us," James mumbles. I look around but couldn't find him. He's probably below or behind me. Turning, my eyes meets Jason's, and it takes me a while to feel his arms caressing around my waist. It's lodging me onto the bird so the only way I'll fall is if he falls with me.

"Are you ok? Do you need to go back?" Jason whispers as if his voice might crack the sky if it were any louder.

"No," I bluntly answer in the same whisper. I don't want to somehow disturb the flying bird with my voice. "Hey, want to play a game?"

"What kind of game?"

"I'll ask you a question, and you answer it. Then, you can ask me a question. We'll both exchange questions, and there's only one rule. You have to always tell the truth. Promise?" I hold out my pinky. "You said you want to know what's in my head, and I want to know what is in your head. Here's our chance." He contemplates his choices without moving his head or his eyes. They keep their unwavering attention on me, as if admiring my unrivaled beauty. As if.

"What do you want to ask me?"

"I can't tell you, unless you promise." He hooks the pinky without a second thought and I begin, "Do you trust this home now?" It's a sensitive question, but I really need to know. I keep myself as low as possible, so James wouldn't hear us. I think Jason knows that too.

"Sometimes, I just don't know. It is true they gave us a home and so on, but they also do these dangerous things. I want to know why, but I can't ask." In his words, I see his solitude and confusion. I suddenly feel the need to let him know he is not alone in his thoughts. I want to tell him that I, too, don't trust this home. But I can't lie to him. He'll see through my act in a batter of an eyelash.

"Your turn. Ask me something," I remind him.

"Right. What is in your mind?"

"That's not fair! You can't ask that straight off."

"You never said I can't ask that."

"But…"

"I'll ask you something else, then, if you don't want to answer. Shui Jing," he pauses and breathes out. From our proximity, I can smell his scent. It's sweet and attractive. Like honey. "Do you love me?" I wince at the question. The question is too fast. So fast, that I'm not ready to answer it. Actually, maybe I am ready. But, I don't want to tell him yet. I can only watch into his eyes, and submerse my thoughts into him. He's not kidding. He's really asking me if I love him.

"I… Of…of course, I," I stop. The words get zapped away from my tongue when I'm saying it. It's thick like tar, heavy like bricks, and stings like nails. "Of course I," I start again, "love you. You are my best friend. Who else will I love?"

"I don't want to know if you love me as a friend. It's not enough. I want to know if you love me the same way Mae loves Edward. Because I love you, and I can't hide it anymore." My body freeze. Has my powers gone out of control? Is it paralyzing my body? No, it's from his…his…confession.

Behind us, there's James, yapping away on a phone. I try to let my mind wander. James. _Jason._ Why does he have a new phone? _How can he love me?_ He must have two phones. _I'm not really a person who can love._ He throws his phones a lot. _I can't think anymore. _That's why he has two. _I want to scream. _But James would hear me scream. _I don't want anyone to know about this conversation. _I…

"You don't have to answer me, if you don't want to. You can tell me, on our next game. When you are ready again to tell me what is in your mind. I just want to know, if…like," Jason twists his words around. This is the part where it becomes thick like nails, heavy like tar, and stings like bricks. No, I'm going crazy. "Like, if you would want to be with me forever. Just…the both of us." I listen to his crazy idea. Every last word is full of love and hate that I can't explain. It's too sudden, and too unlike Jason. I would've been fine being friends with him for life. But a chance to be his lover? Should I pass it up? What do I even want?

"Here's a map for you and a carton of six bombs." I look up and to my right. We're already at the castle walls! I don't remember walking here… "The red circles are yours, and the blue is mine. I have the detonator, and you have an hour to set it up. See, small bombs. No one would get hurt." James explains, shoving the map in my hands, and a round cylinder in Jason's. I take a deep breath, trying my best to calm down my anxiety. We're on a mission—it's not time to blank out on love.

"Hey, shouldn't we dress up in black?" Jason asks.

"No. Two reasons. One, if a light is shining right at you, they can still see you in black. Two, this is to train your stealth, so I'm not going to soften it for you."

"Won't we be screwed if we get caught?"

"It's not exactly my problem to think about. If you are really careful, there might not even be a need to fight. But just in case. If you find a toy walking around, cover their mouths and shock them with your lightning. A little jolt and they'll fall flat."

The moment he finishes talking, he leaves us by ourselves. Jason and I stare at the wall. Smooth on the sides but bumpy at the top. It doesn't look easy to climb, or too comfortable to settle on. But we need some way to get up there. Jason tries for magnetism only to slide down when he jumps. I suggest making holds from ice, spacing them a foot away from one another. The idea works, except the ice is incredibly cold. Jason suppresses his yelps when he climbs first. When it's my turn, I slip easily from one step to another, twice as fast as Jason. He blows into his rubber gloves, and shakes my shoulders a little when I couldn't help but laugh.

"Hey. Do you want to split up the job?" Jason proposes, holding the map. The first question that pops in my head is: why would he want to do that? I guess he would want to leave me alone since I never did answer that question. Maybe it was really hard for him to tell me as much as it is for me to admit my answer. It might be better if we do split up. It's a little risky, though… I don't want to leave Jason all by himself. But I don't know if I'm any good at stealth. I might just slow him down.

"Ok…I guess," I answer even though there's too much to think over. He shoves the map into my hand, and points me at the three closest to a wall. Easy escape if I'm caught. But they're spaced pretty far from each other. Two are located around the church, and the last one is at the kitchen. From one side of the castle to another.

"Are you fine with that?"

"How will you remember where are yours?"

"I'll remember. Here, take the carton, too." He empty three flat discs for himself and leaves the rest to me. "If you're ready, I'll race you."

"Let's not. I want to take this slowly."

"Fine by me. We'll wait for each other right here, on this spot."

"Don't get lost!" I slap his head by using the map and make a dash for it. I run to the direction of the kitchen. When I arrive to the kitchen, I know I'm alone by now. In a way, I'm not being very stealthy, since I don't try to sneak around. But, in another sense, there's no one around the kitchen at night to find me. Jason couldn't have picked a better place for me. Opening the carton, I ponder over where, and how to put these bombs. Do I just lay them anywhere? What if somebody finds them? Is there an on/off switch somewhere? I sit on the ground, checking the little trinket on the little moonlight I have in the kitchen. As far as I can tell, there's—

A door squeaks. Footsteps. My body reacts quickly, almost bumping into a nearby stool. But I manage to suppress it in time, before anyone notices. Resting my face flat on the ground, I hear the steps from the other side of the counter. They're going to find me if they glance over! I position my eyes upward, looking for any signs of the others. Then I notice the footsteps stopped and all that remains is…a wave of sawing sound. And the ruffling of paper.

"Your majesty, the Prince, you could always ask the servants to cook up something for you," a fake, mechanical voice booms. I would've screamed my head off if I didn't cover my mouth just in time. Who could be talking like that? It's like the language of a whirling hair razor. Wait. James said this castle is full of toys. Maybe, this is it.

"No, I don't want to distress them further. The ball was a complete success, so they deserve to rest. And something as simple as a midnight snack shouldn't require the need of a servant," a softer, more humane voice says in a humble tone. This voice cools me down a bit, enough to let go of my mouth, and scan around for a place to hide. It's time to see if I have stealth.

I find my fingers sliding onto a depression on the counter. It must be the sliding door to the storage. My nose catches a ticklish, bubbling feeling when I sniff around. Whatever is stored in the counter smells like soda. I'm about to push it open when I realize: it might make some noise. I have to do this carefully if I don't want to get caught. Readying myself, I pull it sideways, thanking myself when I notice how smooth it is. If it didn't do it carefully, it might've bang against the edge of the counter. The alcove is small; there's only a tiny space for me to fit in if I hug my legs. Quickly, I slip into the space and the close the door, putting my finger in the way so there won't be any noise. I didn't want to make any sudden movements, but I'm so nervous right now, all I want to do is hide.

"I think I found the peanut butter," the fake voice says. I replace my hand over my mouth. I hear the footsteps again, and in the small crack, I spot the shadows looming just outside. My legs jerk an inch, and I close my eyes. If I don't see them, then I won't react.

"Now all we need is the jelly. There's nothing like peanut butter and jelly with milk as a midnight snack," the gentle voice says, a little pleasing "mmm" coming from his throat. After a round of movement, I finally submit and put my other hand over my ear, and shut down my last ear by pushing it on the ground.

Why did I choose to split up? It's so dumb of me. If he was here, I might not feel so nervous. I can just list so many things he can do for me right now. He doesn't even have cramp into the same counter as me. Just his presence can bring relief. He can distract them for me, too, if he wants to. And if I get caught, then he'll at least be with me. Two buddies together in the same mess, instead of me all alone. I hate feeling alone, now. I hate that feeling that might haunt me for the rest of my life. If Jason is with me right now, I would tell him my answer and we might live happily ever after. I don't want to live with regrets.

Later, I don't know how much later, but later, I hear the quiet, stillness of the room. Are they gone? I wait for another minute or two before stepping out and do a quick scan of the room. No one. Heart beating rapidly. I allow myself to breathe again before taking a look at the map. Jason. I need to find him. Right now. There's a room circle in red not too far from here located in the main building. A guest room. He's there. He has to be. I'll find him.

I toss one disc onto the floor without caring for how it is used. It'll be James's problem. Hastily sneaking across a small yard of…fake, plastic, trees…I find my way into the building. The entrance isn't locked, nor guarded. It's strange, but it might also mean Jason is here. The room is only three doors down from my right. One… two… three... this is it. I click the door and step into the room, quickly closing the door behind me. There's no one in there. Wait. Maybe, he heard my footsteps and hid somewhere.

"Jason? Are you there? It's me, Shui Jing." I hush, scanning the bed, the closet, the desk, everywhere. High to low. Left to right. Where are you?

Giving up, I rest the carton on the bed and unroll the map.

"Hello?" a voice suddenly questions. It's quiet, but I recognize it. Jason! Looking around, I finally realize the source must be coming from the neighboring room. To my left, I find a door leading to the next room. "Hello?" Jason repeats. The voice is loud and clear behind that door. He's leaning on it, I bet. I wonder how he'll react if I open the door. Resisting a smile, I put the fingers around the doorknob. "Is this GM Core?" I pause. Did I hear it right? Did I just hear him say GM? It must be another GM… Or maybe I heard him wrong. "I would like to report something strange happening in Ludibrium Castle. You must warn the people there immediately! There might be a bomb!"

…

It takes all I can to suppress myself. It's ok. All I have to do is not open the door. I won't have to know if the voice is actually Jason. It's better that way. The mission will go fine. No one would find out. Jason didn't say a single word. If it messes up, I was careless. Someone spotted me. That's all. No trouble, right? It'll all be fine. Jason and I would be fine. Just let go of the door. Just leave. That's all it'll take. "I met someone named Azure. I'm his spy."

I slam the door open. From the sudden movement, Jason leans himself backwards; the telephone wire drags the whole thing down the table. The telephone set cracks against floor, creating a disturbingly loud racket. Above him, I look down on him, seeing his most recognizable feature. His hair. It really is him. "Talk to you later. Bye!" He clicks the phone back into place, and pushes himself up until he's face to face with me. I can't move a single step.

"Did…did you just called—" I start, stunned by what I just heard.

"I can explain! Listen to me!" He grips my wrists until I feel pain. "The Knights, they aren't as simple as you think! They are using us! They are the evil ones! The GMs are here to help us!"

"No! I'm not listening!" I free myself and cover both ears, hoping it'll drown him out. But I can still sense the vibrations of his voice and discern his dialogue. Every word of every sentence finds itself in my head, and sticks there.

I have to remind myself that he's lying. The GMs are the bad guys! The Knights gave me a home, and a family, and so many other things! Leol gave me so many things! They can't be bad! They can't be! You're lying! You're lying!

_"But remember that you're the one who killed me."_

Remember, the Knights forced you to kill your family!" Jason shouts. My eyes lock with his, and I feel as if the world is moving beneath me. Jason pulls my hand apart, and then it hits me, throwing me off the floor and into a table.

When I open my eyes, my head hurts. My vision blurs, and my ears ring. I can still feel it, though—the vibrations and aftershock. As far as my eyes can see, there is a shivering mixture of red, and orange, and yellow. And heat. Trying to move, I feel unbearable pain somewhere on the lower part of my body. The heat grows violent. A piece of rubble from the sky crashes and burns the carpet.

Where are you, Jason?

Through the fires, I search for the last family member I have left. Eyes blurring further, I reach out, hoping to feel him. But he's resting on the ground, still and silent and shattered. No. Jason. Please. Save. Me.

The heat spread uncontrollably like madness consuming the conscience.

"_Where are you, water child?" Mama said. I looked. I didn't see her._

"_Mama? I'm here!" I said. There was a pretty flower and I picked it up. "Look! There are a lot of Snow Roses here! I'll get one for you."_

"_No! Don't go near them! The thorns are poisonous!" I stopped. Good thing I didn't touched it. Mama always knew what to do._

"_Poisonous? But the healer picks these all the time." I always saw her with these._

"_She has the antidote, so she doesn't mind." Mama said. I got it. "But if you don't, the poison would cause you to fall asleep."_

"_Eh? Really!" I turn around. Mama isn't there. "Mama! Mama? Where are you, mama?" I asked for her. I saw her next to a tree. "Mama! You're hurt!" Her mouth moved. I didn't hear her. "What are you saying? Help! Help!" Someone held me. I wasn't able to move. "Huh?" I saw him._

_His lips were twisted in a crooked and evil smile. His eyes glowed in the dark, snowy forest, and they injected you with paralysis. The last thing I saw was, without a doubt, hair that I recognized._

"_Let go of me!" I screamed._

"Let go of me!" I scream. The same hands as before hold my hand tightly. "Let go of me! Jason!" I scream again, pushing him on the floor. It's him! I know it now! It's him! He's the one! "Go away! Leave! Let go of me!" Taking whatever I can get my hands on, I wave the object around, not knowing what it is or what it does. All I want is to get rid of him!

* * *

_Extraction 91 percent complete…GLITCH…GLITCH_

_ "Leol. We meet again."_

_ "Reina? Are you still mad at me?"_

_ "I'm here to tell you how much of a failure you are."_

"_What are you saying?"_

"_I heard what you were doing. Do you remember when Jason came back? After Shui Jing was shocked, he spent the whole time in her room. And guess what I saw. Go on, guess."_

_ "What? Tell me."_

_ "They were holding hands."_

_ "What are you saying?"_

_ "What I am saying is that you failed to notice Jason was tricking her all along. Irena was right when she told me about you. Your wife was tricked into divorcing you! Your daughter was tricked by a street rat! And Shui Jing turned into a traitor too! Everything crumbled right in front of you! Because of you, she is going to die! You are going to die! Everyone is going to die!"_

_ "You mean…Jason was… I…"_

_ "Leol, are you alright? You look a bit pale."_

_ "Tell me! Reina! What could I have done?"_

_ "This!"_

_ "Ow!"_

_ "You don't know how satisfying it is to slap you, Leol! I never thought seeing you cry would feel so good to me! Irena was right! You are just a pawn to the Knights! You can't do anything!"_

_ "Hey! Stop saying things like that right now! He's a great scientist!"_

_ "You're the assistant, right. I suggest you stay far away from him if you don't want to die too!"_

_ "Why you! Leol! Where are you going?"_

_ "Leave me alone."_

_ "Leol! Leol! Open the door! Leol!"_

_

* * *

_

I don't remember speaking a single word since. For the last week, I spent my time in the hospital, nurturing my second degree burns, and the bruises on my hip. There were no broken bones, "thank goodness" said Leol when he visited me. Over this week, everyday brought a different person—James, Leol, Reina, Anhel, and today, Narke. He dons a cheap hooded cloak that covers his body and his face from my sight. Anhel might've spoken to him, but I don't really care.

Narke told me a lot of things. Today was the day I'm getting out of the hospital. Reina quitted her job as our manager. Leol was promoted with a new assistant, and it was his job to train him adequately. Anhel was on a mission, the details of which I'm still not certain. James went back to his role—a spy planted within Ludibrium. That's how he got the maps. And Jason. I didn't ask for anything about him, but Narke told me anyways. His arm was broken during the explosion, and he was assigned to a short-term break. And he also told me, Jason was the one who pulled me out of the fires.

Jason.

Who are you, Jason? Over the years with him, I felt I knew everything about him.

I was wrong.

That, plus the fact that he was the one who captured me, pained me the most. It wasn't a lie, or an illusion. I saw him plain as day in that dream. Anhel and Narke are keeping themselves young; anyone could do the same. I had it all figured out. Jason was a DEAMer. He kept himself young to deceive me. He tracked my progress in Cnorion. Everything was a set-up, the same way my mission with him was. From the very beginning, everything was a lie. My family, my home, everything. It took me the whole week to accept my idea and come up with a plan.

If Jason and the Knights were the ones who kidnapped me, then I needed to escape. The Outside, where the beaches and deserts and Ludibrium are, is where I'll run. And I'll hide someplace where no one can find me. Not the Knights. Not the GMs. Then I'll find my real family.

That's the plan I devised yesterday. And today is my chance. Narke and I will be going on a mission pretty soon to Henesys. The place couldn't be any better; I remember my mother mentioning the place in one of my dreams. And the mission is simple. Track someone down and follow him—an intelligence gathering mission. I'll disappear in the crowd of people with no way for Narke to track me down.

Narke gives me a cloak to wear for the mission and offers to take me to breakfast. I deny his offer and opt to go back to my room. There's nothing there I really want to bring with me, but you'll never know. I make my way back quickly, using the signs to recognize the way.

The entire building is empty; he was right when he said everyone was out. Hurriedly, I make my way up to the room, and look for anything worth bringing with me. My art? Trash memories of Cnorion. My bow? I don't even know where it is anymore. And even if I do, I don't want a weapon. I'm done with weapons. They shot down enough people and tried to bomb me into bits last week. Clothes? From Leol, who tricked me. Yeah right I would pick that. When I wrestle through all my possessions, I can't find one thing unrelated to the Knights. They are all, one way or another, part of my horrible memories. If anything is worth my time, it's the armor Leol gifted me. I might be able to sell it for food. I know enough about the Outside to know that nothing comes free.

I change into a chocolate brown shirt spread with mild strawberry-pink flowers and curvy lines and a pair of jeans with holes at the knee. Then I pull on the armor and slip my arms into the sleeves of the cloak. "Good riddance." I hiss, taking a last look at my room before closing the door. With everything done, I run straight to the cafeteria and eat my last breakfast—ham, cheese, and waffles.

"Slow down, you'll choke," Narke warns in his inhuman voice.

"I want to get out of here as soon as possible," I enthusiastically retort, trying not to sound angry. Narke simply laughs it off and go on ahead to prepare the birds. Curiously, I'm not afraid of the birds today. Is it because of my stubborn rage? Or because I know it's going to be the last time? Nevertheless, I finish the rest in a single mouthful and dash for the station.

Narke already summoned the birds, saving me from going through the trouble myself. Before going to Henesys, we make a stop on a snowy island for a boat. He describes the mission in the meantime: what were supposed to do, how to act, and how to approach people. Then he tells me about the island. This is the same icy island where I met Leol. That means this is also the same place where Cnorion is. It's there somewhere. Maybe in the snow-capped mountains or the forests. Either way, it's ironic that I have to see this place one last time before leaving.

While I'm thinking, Narke pulls me into the ship. "If we go by sky, the GMs would be able to detect us," Narke says. I keep myself around the stern of the ship with Narke on the opposite bow. When I look out into the sea, I can see the horizon of the Outside.

At the beginning, all I was was a lonely child trapped in a world bounded by a glass dome. I understood little about the Outside and ignored it. Then, I somehow climbed my way to the Knights. I felt warm, when in fact everything was cold.

Nothing can contain me now. The Knights can't stop me.

But then again, this is Narke I'm partnered up with. Physically, I can outmatch him by a mile if I tried. But his speed is another thing. Being light, it'll be impossible to run away from him. Well, if it comes down to it, I'll have to fight him. I never fought against anyone with intelligence before. This monster wouldn't go down too easily.

But… I form a sword from my wrist. It's hard and cold, just right for freezing him to death. I have my own abilities. And the cold always leaves a plant monster to die.

Just then, I find the ocean stop moving and immediately reform my hand. On the bow side, I hear a large splash. Is that the anchor? "Change of plans. I just received news that our target could be in Lith Harbor," Narke sighs, mumbling something under his breath about James. I don't know what's wrong, but I have a mental idea. "There are too many GMs around the harbor. We'll take a detour and land at the beach." He points to the front end of the boat, and I stretch my neck out. Still I couldn't see it, and decide to walk over. There, in the water, is a raft big enough for the both of us, and nothing else.

Narke goes in first and take the initiative with the paddles, leaving me as a passenger. He rows the small boat a short distance from the ship before it starts to move again. The ship soon appears nothing more than a dot along the ocean's edge. I watch carefully at Narke. This could be my chance. He's wide open. One stab could end this. And even if it doesn't, I could crush the boat. I'll drown this plant, and my ice would ensure my safety. I'll walk my way back to the mainland over an icy bridge.

"You're terribly silent today," Narke observes. I ignore him and begin carving a weapon behind my back. "Is it because of my presence?" Just a little bit more, and I'm done. "I don't wish for any distaste between you and me." He stretches his head up until I see his lips. "Have you ever heard of yí qí?" I stop forging the weapon. What did he just say? I resay it in my head. Yí qí?

Shui Jing Hua?

"_Huá Shuí Jíng. But remember, this first one is our family name. The last two is yours. Shuí Jíng."_

I can hear the similarities. He knows the language of my name. "It is a word that means kinship. Since the both of us are DEAMers, we need to be able to understand each other. I want you to change your opinion of me," his eyes divert to the shoreline in the distance, "and to do that, I'll assist you with anything you'll need." I take a split second to understand his words and remember what I have to do. Yeah, you can assist me. Just don't struggle too much. I prepare the dagger for a lunge. Gripping it tighter and tighter, I know I can't hesitate. Ready. Set.

Go.

My hand stretch at the same moment he notices me. Too late now! Too late! "Get down!" Narke throws himself over me, stabbing the blade through his abdomen. Two objects, similar to arrows, zap across the sky, barely missing Narke's back. "He discovered us!" He? Who? Before I have time to wonder, the floor of the tiny raft glows a familiar white light, and I fall through. The ocean disappears into nothing. No, not nothing. I see the sky now. And I can feel the land. It's grainy… Is this sand?

"Trying a preemptive strike," Narke says, calm and vigilant. I move up from the ground and stand next to him. Another stranger stands across from us, in the middle of the beach. A similar cloak covers his clothes and body, and one of his hand shields his face. For a moment, I feel like I know the body shape and the height. It reminds me a little bit of Jason. "What a coincidence that you're on the same secluded beach that we'll be landing on? Are you planning to meet someone? Out with it!"

The stranger staggers a step back, his eyes remaining still at Narke. Narke takes a step forward until he's shielding me from the sun. The stranger waves his hands to his side, summoning a white portal. In a moment, Narke's in front of the man, and kicks him into the ground, pinning him there. "It is not wise to ponder flights of fancy. Now tell me, what brings you here?" I walk over, wondering who the stranger is. But before I can see his face, the sands rise up, and an invisible force pushes me away. The bruises on my hips act up again, bringing with it sweltering pain.

"Why is it not wise to ponder flights of fancy? Nothing is impossible if you put your mind into it," a deep, clear voice says. Once the sand settles, I find everyone standing except for me. Narke's in front of me again, and the stranger is still covering his face. But standing in front of the stranger now, is another man wearing a thick body vest and holding a broadsword twice his size. It looks too heavy to use, but somehow, he's wielding it with ease.

"GM Zachary," Narke says with his voice full of snow. So that's a GM? I try to get a better view of him, but his sword, positioned across his face, covers my view. Narke looks at me with dead eyes, and then back at the GM. "It was a trap all along. You took away my powers."

"Only temporary. Just enough for me to take you down."

"Shui Jing Hua. Run and hide. I'll stall him for as long as I can." He produces a simple rapier out of nowhere, and holds it defensively over me. It looks like it'll snap under the weight of the broadsword.

I look over at the trees and thick vegetation covering the inner half of the beach. And then back at Narke. This is my chance to escape. And I take it. I take it without hesitation. Everything passes through me. I keep on running away from everything I learned and knew in these last few years of my life. I don't know why I feel happy, but I am. And it keeps me moving. Running, running in the Outside, feeling the sands, and mud, and grass pass by your feet and seeing the wilderness for all it contains. This is what freedom means.

No more questions. No more guilt. No more—

A hand holds me. I'm not able to move. Jason. "Let go of me!" I flip around and ready an ice sword. He has a glove in his mouth and his right hand sizzles with electricity. And, in a quick motion, I feel the warm touch of his hands caressing my frozen cheeks.

Water conducts electricity. And ice is water.

I'll never spread my snow to the world.

I'll never be free.

* * *

_Extraction 92 percent complete…GLITCH…GLITCH_

_ "Commander Yang! There you are! I need your help! It's Leol! He's going nuts again!"_

_ "Just leave him alone."_

_ "Leave him alone! We can't do that! We need to knock some sense back into him!"_

_ "I can't do that. I've known Leol for half of a lifetime, and he is finally doing something responsible. He was never focused enough on his marriage or his daughter, and that is why his family fell apart. But for Shui Jing, he is determined not to give up. I cannot stop him from being a man."_

_ "You're going to let him die just so he can be a man? What kind of friend are you?"_

_ "Get out of my way. I'm busy."_

_ "Fine, if that's how you want to do it! I'll find someone else to help me!"_

_ "You don't have the guts to."_

_

* * *

_

"Where are you taking me?" I sheik while his hand move from my backbone up to my nape. It's his signal for me to stop moving so he can check the location. I take this time to define the situation. So far, all he's doing is leading me through a forest of fir trees topped with snow. It's so thick in here that getting lost is only a matter of time, unless you have a map. He's purposely picked this path, so I can't escape without trying my luck. And as a secondary precaution, his other hand is uncovered. He'll shock me back into a coma any time he wishes.

"I know you have a lot of questions. I have some, too," Jason says, moving his hand down. "Turn left and go forward." I comply, moving in a normal pace. I don't know how I got in the icy forest, but if he thinks he can control me, he better rethink.

"The first chance I get, I'll run," I voice.

"You'll never get that chance," Jason returns. "As a matter of fact, I feel like playing a game."

"I don't want to play your games! Just let me go!"

"It's the question game, your favorite. Let's begin where we left off. Do you love me?" I cringe at the question, not from shock, but from disgust. Who do you think you are to me? You're not important anymore!

"I'll never love you," I answer, adding as much spite in my voice as possible.

"Fine. Your turn."

"Where are you taking me?"

"To El Nath."

"Why are you taking me there?"

"It's my turn to ask questions. Do you love me?"

"Didn't you hear my answer?"

"Then say it again!"

"I'll repeat it a hundred times. I don't love you! I'll never love you! You are nothing to me! I hate you! I never want to see you ever again! I'll never love you! I'll never love you!"

"Stop! Fine! Your turn."

"Why are you taking me there?"

"To see your mother." I halt my steps. He bumps into me from the sudden stop. I expect him to tell me to move, or send a jolt across my face again. But nothing. This must be a trick… He doesn't know my mother. It's another charade to confuse me. "We have to get going!" Jason takes a hold on my forearm and pulls me in the direction I'm facing. Through his touch, I can feel his anger and rage. I can feel the wetness from his gloved hand. But this wetness doesn't contain the familiar cold of snow.

It is the warmness from his body. "It's your turn," I mumble. Did he spit on his hand? Or is it something else?

"Do you trust me anymore?" His voice comes in tiny waves. It's like his entire body is moving like the water at the beach, except much more violent. I have to answer him as truthfully as I can.

"No." He ducks his head under a branch. "My turn. Why are you crying?" This strikes a chord in Jason. I can tell from his grip softening, and his movements slowing. "You have to answer me. It's another rule," I lie.

"It's because I'm tired of everything!" He screams and let go of my hand. I feel my heart drop. He never spoke to me in a voice with so much hate in it before. "You don't love me. You don't trust me. And I keep seeing you being played like a fool, and I can't save you! No matter what I try! What I try! I'm never enough to replace your family and friends!"

"Are you jealous?" I ask, instantly hating myself for sounding concerned.

"You still don't get it! I have to take you to your family! I have to let you know the truth!" The truth? I remember what the truth is! You called the GMs! You got me in the hospital for a week! You— I remember the injury in his arm. He faked that too! You are a liar! That's the truth!

"I want to know the truth too! I want to know who you are and why are you doing this to me!"

"I am Jason Cerge! I want to show you the truth! And I believe it's my turn to ask things!"

"I'm not answering anything anymore! This is stupid!"

"You're coming with me!" His hand clutches mines again, and his other hand produces an electric spark. The game ends. Under his mercy, he forces me through a forest. When I think about where he's taking me, a cold chill overtakes my body. The Knights? GMs? I don't know anymore. But when we're out of the forest, I can see a small town by the mountains. It radiates with snow and sunshine, and smell of warmth in the cold. This must be El Nath.

Is he really taking me so see my mother? Cold? Snow? In a dream, my mother once mentioned about the cold and snow where she lived. And there's a healer who gather snow roses. Snow Roses, native to El Nath. Thorns are mildly poisonous, while the petals have healing properties. I remember hearing that from somewhere. Maybe I forgotten where and maybe it's not even true.

I'll know sooner or later.

He drags me across the town. The roads are ridden with fresh snow, covering the footsteps that were previously there. The ropes and ladders, the lighted porches, and the benches are all empty and bare. Looking up, snowflakes begin to fall. Each one of them is special, because none is ever the same. But only in shape. They are all still snow, and they are all still cold. They chase away the people of the town, and force them indoors.

It didn't take long for Jason to find the right house. Has he been here before? Who's inside? Narke? Anhel? Leol? Or the GMs? Or maybe that was a lie too. GMs don't exist. A fairy tale used to trick me. I wouldn't be surprised at all.

Jason only needs to knock once before someone opens the door. She was waiting behind the door all along. She was expecting us. I don't know who she is. Not my mother. Not someone I know. Friend or foe? Foe.

"It started snowing already! Please come on in," she moves out of the way for Jason to pull me inside. I can't tell how old she is. She's more youthful than Reina, but older than me. But if she's a DEAMer, she might as well be an old hag. "Have a seat around the fire and help yourself to the snacks at the table."

Jason follows her down a short hallway and turns a left, into a sort of living room. The short glass-topped table and the wooden chairs are settled in a handy area around the fire. But behind the chair, in front of the chair, and on the table are scattered with towers of towers of marked boxes. They come in only one, cumbersome size: big. Between two boxes, I spy a tea set, and some muffins.

Jason forces me into a wide chair, and squeezes me into a corner. One hand clutches my lap, preventing me from leaving. The lady settles on a small chair to the side from us, and the next thing I notice about her is… "Your hair!" I chime. She swims her fingers through the orange curls, dropping the object I'm looking at. It has the poisonous thorns stripped, leaving the stem and white petals. She notices me staring at the flower and puts it on the table.

"You think the rose is pretty?" I nod. "You can have it."

"Oh no, we can't," Jason pipes. I look at him with an annoyed expression.

"It's alright. I have tons to give away. It's very simple to make." I smile at the lady, and reach out to take blossom. Jason takes his hand away from my lap for a moment and stops me from touching it.

"We're not here for flowers." Jason stares at me, mouthing the words "stop it." I ignore him and cross my arms around my chest.

"Which one of you is sick?" the lady inquires.

"Sick, no. We're not sick. I'm here to look for…," Jason bits his lower lips, "Mrs. Hua." Oh great, here we go. I know how it goes. The Knights or whoever can't find my real mother, so they got some lady. Next she'll tell me she moved or something.

"Mrs. Hua? Oh, I'm so sorry. She died last month." Bingo.

"What! That can't be! I need to see her!" Jason stands up, pretending to be bewildered.

"Please. Spare me the act," I stand up too and travel the way where we came in.

"Where are you going?" Jason clutches my elbow and raises his hand as a threat.

"Is that all you can do? Go ahead and shock me, then! It's better than all the monkeying around you and that lady is doing!"

"You still think this is all a lie?"

"What do you take me for? I'm not a child anymore!" I shove him off, and go for the door. When I reach the frame between the hall and the fireplace room, I spot the kitchen. It's right across from me. Actually, from where I'm standing, I can't tell it's a kitchen. There's no visible stove. All you can see is an empty room until you step in. When you step in, there is a table to the right, and beyond that is the stove along the wall. The stove is only bricks, nothing special. But there is a kettle on there all the time. And when the water is boiling, the silence breaks.

I know that because…it's in my memory.

If my memories are a lie, then why is the lie right in front of me? Hesitant, I take a precautionary step, one after another, until I see the whole of the kitchen. It's exactly the way I remember it. A table, a chair, a stove, a kettle. The squeaks of the floor, the sound of rising steam, the joyful laughs. They are the exact same thing as years ago. And on the wall, opposite to the stove, is a piece of paper. It was something I wrote a long time ago.

"Hua Shui Jing," I read. It was the first words I written, and my mother taught me how to. My whole body cries from the truth. It is true. This is my home.

"You know how to read that language? I'm surprised. It's quite ancient," the lady comments without knowing about my tears. "That was the name of Mrs. Hua's daughter. She always told me stories about her. That was written—"

"That was written on a snowy day. Shui Jing was only about three years old, and her mother was teaching her to write her own name. The child couldn't hear anything for some reason, but knew about her mother. She remembered the warm hands holding her cold hands. Each stroke was delicate and uninterrupted until the water boiled. That's when the child could hear her mother laugh.

"There was also another time when Shui Jing had a cold. She was too attached to her mother. It wasn't possible for the mother to stop worrying because Shui Jing was always begging her to stay. Then the mother talked about the beach. She used to live in Henesys, but wanted to be somewhere with snow.

"You know her? From the sounds of it, I would think you were her daughter."

"I am. I am her daughter. My name is Shui Jing Hua. And—"

_I saw him._

_His lips were twisted in a crooked and evil smile. His eyes glowed in the dark, snowy forest, and they injected you with paralysis. The last thing I saw was, without a doubt, hair that I recognized._

"_Let go of me!" I screamed._

_And the person holding my arm with both hands is Leol. Another pair of_ _strong arms tightens around my body like a python. And turning back, I see the same thick, silver bangs and angry look. He is Yang._

More tears stream from my eyes.

"I'm sorry. Did you just say you are her daughter?"

"She did," Jason answers for me.

"That can't be right. Shui Jing shouldn't be as old as you. She disappeared five years ago, when she was four years old. And you're too pale to be her. I have a picture of her right here."

"Oh, thank you… Shui Jing. I think you better take a look at this." Jason shows the photo in front of me. In it is the mother next to the daughter.

And the daughter looks nothing like me.

Her hair is brown. Mines are white. Her eyes are brown. Mines are darker than dark. Her skin is fair. Mines are snow. She is human.

She is the water child.

I am the ice child.

I am not her.

I am not Shui Jing.

* * *

_Extraction 93 percent complete…GLITCH…GLITCH_

_ "So it's still happening?"_

_ "Yes, that's right."_

_ "But Leol didn't mention a single word about it."_

_ "Um…uh…he instructed me to keep it a secret."_

_ "Why would he do that?"_

_ "Because he didn't want the process to stop and lose Shui Jing."_

_ "So why are you telling me now?"_

_ "He's going nuts. He wouldn't sleep or eat. If this goes on, he'll collapse. I don't want that to happen."_

_ "Hmm…A good dog you are. Not loyal enough, but unlike Leol. Defying the Knights. I supposed he can't be left unpunished."_

_ "What are you doing with that bow?"_

_ "One shot is all I need to destroy the cryonic tank. But let's say I aimed it a little off. Would she be intact?"_

_ "What? No! You can't do that! If she's wounded during the process, her mind would—"_

_ "It doesn't matter. We can always reshape her. Her body is all we need. Besides, she would prefer this anyways."_

_

* * *

_

"It's funny. Even after knowing everything was a lie, you are still real. Are you sure you want to join me? Is it worth it?"

"I don't know. The GMs are looking all over for us, as well as the Knights."

"Jason, I'm glad you are with me for so long. But if you think it is dangerous, I'll go alone."

"No, that's not what I mean. I don't know if it is really worth it for you. If I could touch you, I would stop you and go alone. Whatever you decide to do, I'll have to support you."

"To know who I am, it is more than worth it. I just need to know what truth to my life is. I need to know where I came from and who my real family is."

"What if you found more lies? Wouldn't you still be sad?"

"There has to be a truth, I believe in that. And I at least know one thing: there are many people in Cnorion who also share my fate. I'm not only going to seek answers, but I also want to destroy the prison. They've been prisoners for far too long."

"I didn't know you cared for others."

"I don't. But I know you do."

"You really do know a lot about me."

"I don't. Everything could still be a lie. So I trust my feelings by trusting you. There's no one else I can agree with. There's something I want to know, though. Like you said, we'll be hunted by both sides. If something happens to you—"

"For you, I'll live. I live, just for you. I promise, I'll run and stay alive, so that we can find each other. Will you promise to do the same? Live, for me?"

"Of course."

* * *

_Extraction 94 percent complete__…GLITCH…GLITCH_

_ "No!"_

_ "Leol!"_

_ "You're bleeding!"_

_ "Assistant! You backstabber! I told you not to tell anyone!"_

_ "Worry about that later! Your arm is bleeding!"_

_ "You should listen to him. Don't worry, I won't touch her."_

_ "I was just looking for you. It was a good thing your secretary told me where to look."_

_ "My, she sure can't keep secrets, can she?"_

_ "You were the last to see Shui Jing. I'm out of options here. You need to tell me anything she told you."_

_ "And why would I disclose that?"_

_ "Because we're running out of time! I'm pretty sure you wouldn't want to die with me!"_

_ "Out of my way, I'll end this in one shot!"_

_ "No you won't!"_

_ "Are you crazy? She'll kill us all. Assistant, you do it."_

_ "Um…how can the both of you be so calm? I'm—"_

_ "You wouldn't dare! I'm a Night Lord! I can stop the both of you at the same time!"_

_ "Fine. Don't think you win, though. I'm just telling you her last words. That's all."_

_ "I'm watching you."_

* * *

When we cross the portal, I'm not surprised by the terrain. This is the same island where Narke and I stopped for the ship. And it's nothing less than a cheap copy of El Nath. From the shoreline, my eyes can only see the twisted firs stretching for miles and miles and deathly snow cluttering the earth. This must be some sort of sick-minded joke. If it were a few months ago, I might still love the snow. But now, the white only reminds me of the uniform the Knights forced onto me.

I look at Jason for comfort—his hair always brings a smile to my face, especially when he's not pushing me around. But while I'm smiling, he's ducking his head in gloom. It gives me a good view of his hair, yes, but it also gives me a bitter feeling to see him like this. Even though he didn't mention it, I know how he is feeling. He thinks this is stupid and it is. The only reason we would succeed is when pigs fly.

But I don't care. They forced me to kill so many people. They made me into a criminal. They somehow gave me all these false memories. Even if I don't find out who I really am, someone has to pay one way or another.

Swallowing these feelings momentarily, I lock my finger with Jason's, startling him to look up. "Cheer up," I try. "What happened to 'we'll stay alive and find each other'?" Jason chuckles softly and squeezes my hand tighter, giving me a jolt of surprise. Maybe this is his way of telling me he won't let go of me, the same way I won't let go of him.

"It's still in here," Jason finally answers, moving my hand to his chest. Under the cloak and the coat and his skin, I feel his underlying pulse. It's there; I can feel it. "But I feel like I failed you." His lips contort in guilt. The pressure of his heart stiffens. "We don't deserve to be best friends." He releases his fierce grip on my hand, stabbing my tongue with a sharp bitter flavor. For a moment, I thought he said I don't deserve to be his friend, until I realize what he means. He must still be blaming himself for forcing me to see my "mother." It didn't turn out the way he imagined, and we're on this island because of that.

I won't let Jason change my mind. I resolved myself that I'll do this with or without him. But I know that's a lie because I simply can't live without Jason anymore. At least, until I know the truth, he'll always be my truth. He is the only person in this world who I know won't lie to me. Guilt stabs its way up my forearm. My selfishness has pulled him into my problems. And the worse thing is that, even with the guilt, my anger towards the Knights wouldn't allow me to feel remorse.

"Don't…don't say that," I whisper, making my voice soft and pleasing, "we deserve to be friends. We've been through so much, and yet we are still together. I'm sorry for bringing you here."

"No, it's not your fault." He raises his voice, catching me off guard. "I'm sorry for bringing _you_ here. Truth is, since a year ago, I met a GM in Cnorion and he told me a lot of things," Jason starts, tears suddenly streaming down his eyes. I want to touch his face and wipe off his cries. But when he brushes it off himself, I remember the consequences of touching him. I need some way to calm him down, and so I stretch my hands around his hips. It's the next best thing I can do for him without hurting myself.

"They told me about monsters. They were big, and misshaped. And the scariest thing was that they were created from human flesh. They created them in these tall glass tubes and choke them in some type of fluid. He told me that the people who were released are those monsters." He chokes and cracks while I clench my fist behind his back. "Every day I listened to the announcements and was so excited to see the Outside. I never thought…even for a second. After the GM left, I listened to make sure our names weren't announced. I was so scared of losing you.

"But when Reina said our names, I was too scared. I wanted to tell you. I thought maybe we can hide somewhere in Cnorion. But it was their city, and I couldn't do anything but cry. I thought that by not telling you anything, it was protecting you. But they took you away anyways. I thought I would never see you again." By now he kneels in the snow; tears still fall from his eyes.

As he tells his story, I kneel there, holding onto him. His body shivers quietly.

"It's ok," I promise him. My mind quickly churns for a moment when I'm guilty towards Jason. What can I say? He holds me dear enough to cry over me. While all I did was find him slightly annoying and only thought of him as the boy who hung out with lonely girl. My position in his heart is probably greater than his position in mines. I can't lie to Jason… "What you're saying is silly," I begin, using sarcasm to conceal my uneasiness. "I should be the one crying. All that time in Cnorion, I didn't really treasure you as a friend at all. You—"

"No, please, don't say something like that. I'm the one who failed you. Everything I did was horrible!"

"I—"

"Just listen to me! It's been bothering me for a long time. I need to tell you the truth. Remember when I told you I love you during the Ludibrium mission? When I told you that, I was thinking that if I got you to love me, I can convince you to leave the Knights. I tried to use the same way the Knights did." The news hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm not mad or anything like that, just surprised. I suppose it is farfetched to believe someone might love me. I feel like a fool for even believing that for a moment. "I'm sorry."

"It's ok." I look away. There's no reason to cry. I won't cry. I can't. I'll save it later, when we free Cnorion. I pick myself up and start for the direction of the trees. When I take my first step forward, Jason tugs at the base of my shirt. His eyes, after crying, look like it came from a puppy. He doesn't want me to go, but he knows it has to happen. I watch him slowly let go before standing up himself. Together, we walk silently in a random direction. After hearing his story, the both of us need time to absorb the news.

There is a desire for me to tell him my answer right now. He told me so much and shared so much with me. Shouldn't I do the same? It wouldn't hurt either of us, right? The feeling isn't mutual anymore. But I'm hesitating. Why am I doing something like that when I already know his response? It's probably because it's so silly. Yeah. We're only two young teenagers who know nothing. We've only been in the Outside for how long? It only feels like we know the meaning of love. One day, we'll just look back and think this is all a mistake.

But if we don't know love, then how do we know friendship? I call him my best friend but I don't even know how to put things into words. I can easily call him anything else. Friend, best friend, lover, brother. I don't really know how to distinguish him anymore. I guess all I really know is that he's important to me. Maybe that's enough.

I honestly don't know.

When we arrive at a snowfield valley at the end of the forest, a sound buzzes. I heard it twice…no I heard a lot of times before. It is like a sound when… in the air… something moves. An arrow? An arrow! No, that's not it… I also hear the snow rubbing against each other. Swallowing, I look in all cardinal directions, trying to single out the source. Nothing comes up until out in the corner of my eye, something moves an inch from my head.

Turning around, I remember Jason and see him taking a protective stance around me. One arm encloses around my body, and the other stretches out, fending off everything that splashes in my way.

"I don't believe it," Anhel's voice says. I move Jason aside and find a better view of him. His legs are half buried in the snow, and his breath breathes in such thick vapor that a fog masks his image. He's on the verge of freezing, even if he's not shivering. I'm not surprised. His powers are probably wetting his clothes as we speak.

"You don't believe what?" I ask, not really caring for his answer. It's just fun to watch him struggling to answer.

"I…can believe that he might be a traitor! But you…I never thought…about it at all. Why would you do this to us?"

"What do you mean why would I do this to you? You should ask them what they did to me!"

"So what if your memories are from someone else? That's no reason to do this! You were happy with us! Everyone treated you like a friend. We shouldn't have to fight. Just come back to us." By the time he's done, his voice grows into a small whisper. I respond to him by raising my hand and gathering the cold. "Are you honestly thinking you can stop me?" I increase my focus, drawing as much ice as possible. The arrow immediately launches itself without my control.

"Come on," Anhel whines, sidestepping the arrow like it's a dodge ball. "Do you really think teenagers like you—" The left side of his body freezes over, focusing primarily around his head. I smile. I don't have to hit him to freeze him.

"I'll go up close and take him down in one shot," Jason says.

"We'll go together," I say, not letting my eyes wander from Anhel's angry face. Putting my palms together, I pull out a sword of ice. Angling our legs in a dash, we propel ourselves at the same time towards our target. Anhel stays there, unable to move from his predicament. Our attacks strike him at the same time, one flash freezing him completely, and the other destroying the ice monument into pieces.

"I guess it is true when they say one mistake is all it needs," Jason mouths.

"Mmm, we still have to find Cnorion." I look ahead at the path. With the cliffs surrounding the left and right, there's only one way to go.

"Wait. I feel something strange. Let me see first." I look at him squat near the icy remains of Anhel and stick his hand out at the ice.

"You're not feeling sorry, are you?"

"No…it's just I…" Jason slows down with each word. I begin following his eyes around. He looks to the left and the right and then focuses on the ice. After a moment, he stares right into me, and I start to hear sounds too. Scratchy sounds. Where are they coming from? It's not the front or the back. It's… "Below us!" I react then, moving hastily as if I've stepped on a land mine. But it's too late already. A geyser of water rises from below ground. It did little to hurt us. Instead, my clothes absorb all the water.

The geyser only lasts for a second, but somehow it creates a strong rain, darkening the earth. A layer of water spread over the snow, and once the rain stops, the sun reflects off the ground, blinding the eyes. I spot Anhel, an entire arm frozen in ice, but other than that nothing. No scar, not wound. Not even a cut. Making a weapon, I tell myself, I'll end it right now.

"Instead of worrying about me, you should take a look at him first."

Jason? I find him curling on the ground. His body shakes and twists and turns all at the same time. Kneeling next to him, I can see the pale in his eyes and the redness of his skin. "What's happening to him?" I demand.

"The traitor's dying, that's what. It's too late for him now. If the cold doesn't get to him, the water will pop his organs."

"Then how come nothing is happening to me! There has to be something else you did!"

"I did nothing! You should know why you're not dying! You're the DEAMer of ice!" He spits on the ground and turns around, the ice already spreading to his chest.

I change my attention to Jason. His face goes from intense red to purple, and the shivering is slowing down gradually. I know this. It's the sign of someone dying. The doom in his eyes and the movements of his body tells me. No. I can't let him die. Any other boy in the world can decease for all I care. Maybe if I hug him. My body heat can keep him warm! No! I'm too cold! It'll make it worse! I have to get him into some dry clothes! Yes, that's right, dry! But where? Who? Cnorion? I won't…I won't make it in time!

"Help! Somebody! Help! He's dying! I'm sorry! Please save him! Anhel! Anhel!" I scream, knowing full well the uselessness of my effort.

…shaking stop. Everything stops. It's no more.

…take a look at…still body, and magically, all the color returns to... For a time, … feel … pulse. … touch his face, … feel no shock. No reaction. Nothing. … not reacting to … anymore. No.

This…be… Why did…do… … … … … … …

Memory … … …

… … … … Snow Rose.

* * *

_Extraction 95 percent complete__…GLITCH…GLITCH_

"_You killed my family!" _

_

* * *

_

"No, Shui Jing. You don't have a family for me to kill."

* * *

_Extraction 96 percent complete__…GLITCH…GLITCH_

"_Shut up! I've had enough of your lies!" _

_

* * *

_

"How do you expect to defeat me? You can't even hit me."

* * *

_Extraction 97 percent complete__…GLITCH…GLITCH_

"_I won't let you use me ever again!"_

_

* * *

_

"You think you can just kill you self? You are our property. That means we determine your lives. Not you."

* * *

_Extraction 98 percent complete__…GLITCH…GLITCH_

"_I'll live to kill you!"_

_

* * *

_

"We'll see about that."

* * *

_Extraction 99 percent complete…ERROR_

"_Is that really all that she told you?"_

"_Right down to the last word. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a job to finish."_

"_No, wait!"_

"_We only have one percent left, Leol! Even I must admit I'm afraid to die!"_

"_Just wait a minute! I'll figure out—"_

_ "ERROR! ERROR! ERROR! MEMORY EXTRACTION STOPPED! EMERGENCY SHUTDOWN INNITIATED!"_

_ "She's having a spasm! The vitals are dropping! She's going to die!"_

_ "Get her out of that thing right now!"_

_ "We can't! The computer is frozen!"_

_ "Out of my way!"_

_ "Yang! Don't destroy it!"_

_ "What did you do?"_

_ "Hey! Assistant! Worry about that later! She's in cardiac arrest!"_

_

* * *

_

"What? What is this place? It's so bright."

"Shui Jing!"

"Who are you?"

"Did you get some cold stuff—"

"Huh? What's—no!"

"He's disappearing. Shui Jing, everyone's going to disappear."

"Huh? It's you! How do you know my name?"

"You don't remember me now."

"Am I supposed to remember you?"

"No. It's better if you forget about me and everyone else, too."

"Everyone else?"

"Mae and Edward and Sean and Sarah and everyone else, they've been causing you too much pain. But today, you would be reborn again. You don't have to remember us, but you have to live for us. You are the only family we have left. You mustn't die yet. Oh, I'm disappearing too. It's time for me to join the others."

"Wait! Before you go! Tell me your name, please!"

"What's the point? You'll forget about it, and me."

"I feel there is something important about you that I need to know. I want to reborn knowing who you are. Or at least know before everything ends."

* * *

_"Hang in there, Shui Jing! You can't die yet! We need you!"_

_ "Leol, stop, please."_

_ "Shut up, Yang! If you didn't come in and break the machine, she might be still alive!"_

_ "If I didn't stop it in time, her powers would break free! She would end all of our lives! She would end her life!"_

_ "Even so! I might find a way to stop her! Now it's too late! You killed Shui Jing!"_

_ "It's not like she'll fire you for failing to save her."_

_ "That's not the point, Irena! She's a part of me! She's a life! She needs to live!"_

_

* * *

_

"Everything is fading. My name? Is it really that important? I really wish I could've been with you. You are lucky to get another chance. My name, will you really remember that?"

"I will! I promise! Even if I'm reborn, I won't forget your name!"

"thank you."

* * *

_"Who…where…who am I? Why is everything so…fuzzy?"_

_ "Shui Jing? Oh! Oh thank god you're alive!"_

_

* * *

_

Epilogue-Memory Eclipsed II

I touch the edge of the window, scraping my fingers over the snow. I'm not really good with words because I don't really know how to read or write. I wish I can describe this feeling within me. Whenever I touch snow, my heart feels like magic. It pumps blood faster, and everything slows down all around me. People don't notice it normally, but I do—the drift of the wind, the formation of snow, and the mystical feeling where every fiber in your hand reacts to the touch of an object. Every morning I stare out this window for a few minutes…or hours. Depends on how long the feeling lasts.

No one else I know can do this. They call it strange. I guess it's because I'm strange. Whenever I pick up the snow in my hand, I know I'm different from everyone else. They recommend I change this daily habit of looking out the window, but I don't want to. After the moment ends, there is always a pretty plant between my fingers. It's called a Snow Rose. The name just popped up in my head and stuck there. This rose is me. It is the last thing that tells me who I am. No wait. A flower can't talk. Plants can't talk.

"Hey! Shui Jing! Do you want to have a snowball fight?" Leol asks, waving and yelling.

"Sure! I'll be down in a minute!" I slip the rose into the vase by the window and head downstairs.

Maybe, if I listen carefully, I can imagine a voice telling me who I am.

* * *

_"jason cerge"_

* * *

**Crystal Flowers.**

**The End.**

**

* * *

A/N: **Final thanks for all the readers and friends who read this story. And Shui Jing, don't worry. Keep on reaching, and you will eventually find your happy ending.

Remember to review, everyone!


	3. Extra, Notes

_**Synopsis:** Have you ever wondered who was talking in certain parts of the story? This is a collection of notes for me to review for the next time I write about the Knights.  
_

* * *

_Extraction 15 percent complete_

_ "Will she be ok?" __**Assistant**__  
_

_ "I don't know. When they sent her, she was pretty battered up." __**Leol**__  
_

_ "What? If we don't save her—" **Assistant**  
_

_ "Relax, no use panicking before it actually happens. People strive towards life, like it or not. She's built to survive." **Leol**  
_

* * *

_Extraction 18 percent complete_

_ "How's her condition?" **Leol**  
_

_ "It's still in critical. I don't think she is going to make it." **Assistant**  
_

_ "God dammit, how many times have I told you to relax? Everything is going to be fine. She's been in critical for so long! Do you ever wonder why?" **Leol**  
_

_ "Um…I don't know. She should've been dead…according to these numbers." **Assistant**  
_

_ "But yet she is still alive! She's gripping onto life as hard as she can. So we might as well not give up too." **Leol**  


* * *

_

_Extraction 19 percent complete_

_ "She is finally out of critical. Phew."** Assistant  
**_

_ "I told you, as long as you relax, everything will be alright. Now all we need to do is keep watch and she'll awake soon." **Leol**  
_

_"I sure hope so. I can't take any more suspense." **Assistant**  
_

_ "Ack. I told you! Nothing will go wrong! As long as I'm here, not even the reaper can take away her life." **Leol**  


* * *

_

_Extraction 20 percent complete_

_ "Would you look at that." **Leol**  
_

_ "What? What's wrong? Don't tell me she's in critical again." **Assistant**  
_

_ "No. Look closely in the tank. She's smiling." **Leol**  
_

_ "Smiling? That's not a smile. It's a muscle spasm from being in there for too long." **Assistant**  
_

_ "No, she is definitely smiling. This is how she smiles."** Leol**

* * *

_

_Extraction 21 percent complete_

_ "Here, see. This is how she smiles. I told you so." **Leol**  
_

_ "Huh? Why do you have a picture of the both of you?" **Assistant**  
_

_ "Why not?" **Leol**  
_

_ "She is after all—" **Assistant**  
_

_ "Hey! Don't say that about her! It doesn't matter who she is! She is still a living thing! I treat her like she is my own daughter!" **Leol**  
_

_ "Yeah, the both of you do look like father and daughter, a little." **Assistant**  
_

_ "No, that's not right. My daughter doesn't look anything like her. I have pictures of my family on my laptop, want to see them?" **Leol**  
_

_

* * *

_

_Extraction 23 percent complete_

_ "Wow, that's your daughter? She looks beautiful!" **Assistant**  
_

_ "A whore, I know. I really have no control over her, going to nightclubs all the time. It's a matter of when she'll get pregnant and I'll have to fix the mess. Do you plan to marry someone?" **Leol**  
_

_ "Of course! Actually I like that girl that dresses up in green." **Assistant**  
_

_ "Her? She's the President of Cnorion. Trust me, you wouldn't want her." **Leol**  
_

_ "What's wrong with her?" **Assistant**  
_

_ "First, she's way out of your league. Two, she's too pretty. Your daughter will get guys preying over her. You don't want to flip a coin for a son. Science is one thing, luck is another." **Leol**  
_

_

* * *

_

_Extraction 30 percent complete…GLITCH…GLITCH_

_ "Glitch? What does that mean?" **Assistant**  
_

_ "Hey, hey. Calm yourself down. Deeps breaths. She's going to be alright." **Leol**  
_

_ "How can you be so sure?" **Assistant**  
_

_ "She wouldn't give up, that's why. Now help me find the problem, alright." **Leol**  
_

_ "I hope this doesn't affect her mind." **Assistant**  
_

_ "Like I said. Chill out. The data is safe." **Leol**  
_

_

* * *

_

"Are you excited about picture day?" **Teresa**

"Please don't remind me. I've been dreading this since last week." **Shui Jing**

"Why?" **Teresa**

"Don't you know? She has a scary smile. I remember back in fifth grade, there was a bunny and it wouldn't let Shui Jing pet her." **Jason**

"What really?" **Mae**

"Don't listen to Jason. I think Shui Jing has a wonderful smile. Isn't that right, Mae?" **Edward**

"Actually, now that Jason brought it up, I've never seen Shui Jing smile." **Mae**

"Pass the ketchup, please." **Ryan**

"Here you go." **Mae**

"You know, I've never seen you smile either. What's wrong, Ryan?" **Edward**

"Shut up. I smile. You just don't notice it, that's all. If there is someone here who can't smile, it's Sonata." **Ryan**

"Smile? I don't even remember his voice. I think the last time he talked was when he said his name during class." **Teresa**

"What do you suppose he does with his free time? I never see him during activities." **Jason**

"Oh I know! I saw him practicing his sword behind those giant rocks near the grassy field." **Mae**

"Of course you would know that, Mae. You little stalker. Who else do you prey?" **Edward**

"Hey! Who are you calling a stalker?" **Mae**

"Guys. I think we should stop. Look. Shui Jing doesn't like it when we talk about things like this." **Teresa**

"No, it's alright. Guys. Actually, I'm sorry about the other day for screaming out during dinner about your topics. Leol was right to call me too biased. You guys can continue talking. I'm alright with anything really." **Shui Jing**

"Well um…" **Teresa**

"Pepper, please." **Ryan**

"Here you go." **Mae**

"Mmm, you know what. This silence is bothering me. Why don't I start things off? What are everybody's dreams?" **Ryan**

"Whoa, Ryan! I think you've been eating too much ketchup!" **Edward**

"I'm serious. I've been thinking a lot lately about what people want to be after they graduate." **Ryan**

"Are you asking because you can't decide for yourself?" **Kyra**

"I go with the flow. How about you, Teresa?" **Ryan**

"Um…well for now I really want to plant a garden. Full of fresh vegetables. And a coffee house right next to it. It could be a secret base of operations in disguise." **Teresa**

"A coffee house? Really? If that really happens, I want to be part of that." **Edward**

"Of course, Edward, of course. I much rather spend my time studying further and honing my skills. That's why we're being trained after all." **Kyra**

"That's boring. How about Mae?" **Ryan**

"Mmm, how about undecided? I think I would go for coffee shop." **Mae**

"Boring. Jason, you better not repeat the shop thing." **Ryan**

"I'll go with the flow for now, just like you. But one day I want to be a really strong person." **Jason**

"That's a bit prideful for you, Jason." **Edward**

"There are many things I want to protect, that's all. And there are many things I want to know and only strong people can discover them." **Jason**

"Archaeology? High five! That's my friend, Jason. How about Shui Jing? What is your dream?" **Kyra**

"My dream? Well. I don't know. But no matter what, I want things to remain the way they are. You are all my friends, so I want things to remain that way forever. This is kind of like a true home to me." **Shui Jing**

* * *

_Extraction 37 percent complete_

_ "There, you see. Everything's fine." **Leol**  
_

_ "Phew." **Assistant**  
_

_ "Hey, want to hear a pizza joke?" **Leol**  
_

_ "Sure, ok." **Assistant**  
_

_ "Naw, it's too cheesy! Get it?" **Leol**  
_

_ "Haha!" **Assistant**  
_

_ "I see you are still up to your lame jokes, Leol." **Yang**  
_

_ "Commander Yang!" **Assistant**  
_

_ "How's the status on her? The president requests an answer." **Yang**  
_

_ "Thirty-seven percent, as you can see. Go tell her it'll be done when it's done. You can't rush genius." **Leol**  
_

_

* * *

_

_Extraction 39 percent complete_

_ "If you are so discontented with her, tell her personally." **Yang**  
_

_ "You think I don't have the guts, do you? She's not right since the first day I met her. We're both on the same level but she never shows respect to me. She keeps kissing that Empress's ass." **Leol**  
_

_ "I'm leaving." **Yang**  
_

_ "So, you don't like the president?" **Assistant**  
_

_ "Hells no. Pretty women never listen to a man of science like me. It makes my job so hard. If you are ever going to take my place, be ready to lose that social life of yours." **Leol**  
_

_

* * *

_

_Extraction 41 percent complete_

_ "According to the report, Shui Jing took test number three. What is it about?" **Assistant**  
_

_ "Someone hasn't been doing their homework, I see. The test essentially comes in three stages, but the first two is standard procedure. Send some monsters after them and see if they can fend them off. The third is different. It forces them to kill each other, the last one standing wins." **Leol**  
_

_ "Don't they live together for months?" **Assistant**  
_

_ "Yeah, they do." **Leol**  
_

_ "So then, they have to kill friends who spent all that time with them. Isn't that a little bit cruel?" **Assistant**  
_

_ "The test is designed to be that way. It is to give the remaining ones a lesson that in battle there is no family. Shui Jing took it really hard, though." **Leol**  
_

_

* * *

_

_Extraction 46 percent complete_

_ "Hey, what are you doing, reading my files?" **Leol**  
_

_ "I thought I might be able to help you better if I read some of the files." **Assistant**  
_

_ "Hmm, well for once, you're being a smart assistant! In that case, read all of this!" **Leol**  
_

_ "Careful! It's heavy!" **Assistant**  
_

_ "Here. All of this by tomorrow." **Leol**  
_

_ "What! Wah! I can't get all that done in such a short time!" **Assistant**  
_

_ "Back in my homeland, I had to finish this in a few hours. You're lucky to have overnight." **Leol**  
_

_

* * *

_

_Extraction 47 percent complete_

_ "Hey, Leol." **Assistant**  
_

_ "'Sup." **Leol**  
_

_ "It says here…You were the one who wrote test number three! Actually you wrote all the tests!" **Assistant**  
_

_ "Yeah, that's true. What's wrong? Is there some scribble?" **Leol**  
_

_ "Oh. No. I just didn't think you'd agreed with this method. Guess I was wrong." **Assistant**  
_

_ "I wrote it after my daughter started going out. I thought people didn't have values anymore. But that changed when I met Shui Jing. Too bad I couldn't stop her." **Leol**  
_

_ "Is something the matter?" **Assistant**  
_

_ "Sometimes I feel I was the one to push her into now. But, at least, she's still fighting for her life. After this is done, I owe her an apology." **Leol**  
_

_

* * *

_

_Extraction 48 percent complete_

_ "Leol. I think you should take a look at this." **Assistant**  
_

_

* * *

_

_Extraction 49 percent complete_

_Memory Eclipsed I_

_ "The machine. There's something interesting about it. You invented it, right? Hey, what's that…?" **Assistant**  
_

_

* * *

_

_Extraction 50 percent complete_

_Memory Eclipsed I_

_ "Her cheeks! They're freezing!" **Assistant**  
_

_ "No, that's just her crying." **Leol**  
_

_ "That can't be possible! Isn't this just a fluctuation of her powers?" **Assistant**  
_

_ "This phenomenon happened before, during the DEAMer process. It's because of her genetic disorder, causing her sleep disorder. She's awake and at the same time she's asleep. She's aware." **Leol**  
_

_ "So she's awake during the DEAMer process? Isn't that very painful! She was in subzero degrees! Isn't this wrong?" **Assistant**  
_

_ "Shui Jing always had an affinity for coldness." **Leol**  
_

_ "That's not the point! Won't she die from the pain?" **Assistant**  
_

_ "But she didn't, right?" **Leol**  
_

_ "Still… I find that very disturbing." **Assistant**  
_

_ "Would you shut up? I'm thinking right now." **Leol**  
_

_ "What is it?" **Assistant**  
_

_ "What else can it be? There's something fishy going on. A missing piece of the puzzle about her. I need to find it before the extraction completes." **Leol**  
_

_ "S...Should I bring all the files?" **Assistant**  
_

_ "No. I personally wrote them. I still remember it clearly in my head… Don't worry, Shui Jing. I'll find it for you." **Leol**_

_**

* * *

**_

_Extraction 51 percent complete_

_ "I'm still confused. What do you mean when you said the missing puzzle? What could go wrong?" **Assistant**  
_

_ "Think about it. She could be aware at this very moment. That means she knows her memories are fading away as the extractions keep going. But why does it glitch. Why would her memory glitch?" **Leol**  
_

_ "Didn't the problem go away by itself? I don't think you should think this hard about something as complicated as memory." **Assistant**  
_

_ "Remember the notes you passed me." **Leol**  
_

_ "I just wanted to know a little bit more on how it works. I couldn't get what—" **Assistant**  
_

_ "I'm not talking about that part. Read lower, at the last section." **Leol**  
_

_

* * *

_

_Extraction 52 percent complete_

_ "I…um…I…" **Assistant**  
_

_ "Think about it a little. What are we extracting? What does the glitch have to do with it?" **Leol**  
_

_ "I know that. I just can't believe it. Could it be a side effect of the DEAMer process? Or maybe just because of increased brain activity? We have to be absolutely sure here!" **Assistant**  
_

_ "We are not going to terminate the process! That would destroy her mind! You have to keep this a secret at all costs." **Leol**  
_

_ "But with her condition, you won't be able to tell what might happen! Her brain might crash and nothing might happen. Or she might die!" **Assistant**  
_

_ "I understand perfectly. I will take full responsibility if that happens. You will not be in any trouble." **Leol**  
_

_

* * *

_

_Extraction 53 percent complete_

_ "Please Leol! You have to stop! There is no way for you to tell what part of her memory is thirty percent!"** Assistant  
**_

_ "All the more reason to research deeper!" **Leol**  
_

_ "I beg of you, open the door, please!" **Assistant**  
_

_ "Stop bothering me and go away!" **Leol**  
_

_ "What are you doing outside? Shouldn't you be in there?" **Yang**  
_

_ "I'm so glad to see you Commander Yang. He locked himself inside the room and wouldn't come out! He wouldn't eat! Please stop him!" **Assistant**  
_

_ "Leol! Get out, now! I can have you arrested if I open it myself! Hey!" **Yang**  
_

_ "What do you want?" **Leol**  
_

_ "Why aren't you eating?" **Yang**  
_

_ "Look, alright. She has no one. No friends. No family. I am the only person who can do this for her. I need to realize her final wish. It's the last thing I can do to make things right for her." **Leol**  
_

_

* * *

_

_Extraction 59 percent complete_

"_You're right. I have to eat. I need the energy to continue the research." **Leol**  
_

"_So what is all this about?" **Yang**  
_

"_It's Shui Jing. There is something she's trying to tell me. She must've been hiding it for too long. Her memories, they are like a breath of regret. It's interfering with the process and caused a glitch to happen. If I can find where in her memories caused the glitch, I might be able to trace the source of her regret." **Leol**  
_

"_I've read your reports in my spare time. Even I know that if something wrong sparked in her mind, her powers could kill us all. Her mental condition brings an even greater risk." **Yang**  
_

"_Don't tell anyone, please. At least, not until I do this one thing for her." **Leol**  
_

"_Even if you solve the mystery, how will she know?" **Yang**  
_

"_She will. She's aware. Watch. Shui Jing Hua." **Leol**  
_

"_The readings! They're spiking! Leol! You have to do something. We can't let her wake—" **Assistant**  
_

"_Oh shut up!" **Leol**  
_

"_I see. But the extraction?" **Yang**  
_

"_It'll continue. I'll make sure no one finds out." **Leol**  
_

"_As your partner and commander, I can only cover for you for so long. When the time comes, I will lock you up and put you in jail in accordance to my orders." **Yang**  
_

"_Thank you, Yang." **Leol**  
_

"_Don't thank me. You have until one hundred percent. You know what will happen then, right?" **Yang**  
_

"_I understand. Assistant! Recall Ryan, now! Tell him it's an emergency!" **Leol**  
_

_

* * *

_

_Extraction 60 percent complete _

"_Can I ask you something?" **Assistant**  
_

"_Go ahead." **Leol**  
_

"_What will happen at one hundred percent?" **Assistant**  
_

"_Her mind will collapse and disintegrate. She'll become essentially pure Mana, and we'll all die in the blink of an eye." **Leol**  
_

"_What? How is that possible? Aren't we just extracting her memories? Shouldn't her mind calm down the more we pull from her?" **Assistant**  
_

"_But remember, she is awake and aware. If you were having your memories extracted, and you know it is happening, and that creates new memories, what do you think would happen? At best, you'll ignore fate. But, that glitch tells me she wouldn't give in so easily." **Leol**  
_

"_B…b…but! We have to stop it right now! It's too dangerous! It's like working with a bomb!" **Assistant**  
_

"_No one is stopping it, except for me. If it comes to it, I'll personally pull the plug on her, but not until I figure out what she wants me to know." **Leol**  
_

"_Hello, Leol. Long time no see. What did you call me for?" **Ryan**  
_

"_Ryan, good timing. There is something I need to ask." **Leol**  
_

"_Ask? It better not be something about her. You know how much I hate her." **Ryan**  
_

"_It is." **Leol**  
_

"_Then I'm outta here! If it weren't for her, Kyra wouldn't be—" **Ryan**  
_

"_Just give it a rest! Serenade said she'll wake up soon enough." **Leol**  
_

"_And you want me to trust that half-man half-woman monster! If you ask me, the Knights are made up of nothing but people like him." **Ryan**  
_

"_Be quiet! Do you want to get yourself killed?" **Leol**  
_

"_I can say whatever I want, and whatever I don't want! If anyone tries to hurt me again, I'll burn them to the ground!" **Ryan**  
_

"_The only one hurting you is yourself. You know it was your ignorance that hospitalized Kyra. You were the one that taught her suicide." **Leol**  
_

"_I always knew you were scary. Fine, ask me anything. But if I don't want to answer it, then I am getting out of here." **Ryan**  
_

"_Then let's start off with the first time you met her." **Leol**  
_

_

* * *

_

_Extraction 67 percent complete…GLITCH…GLITCH_

_ "Pretend that nothing is wrong and that we're on a normal coffee break." **Leol**  
_

_ "But how am I supposed to relax when—" **Assistant**  
_

_ "Be quiet! You cannot say anything about Shui Jing!" **Leol**  
_

_ "How can you be so calm when we might die any second now?" **Assistant**  
_

_ "Because I am not calm. The best poker face is made when you can convince yourself a lie is true. I'm pretending nothing is wrong." **Leol**  
_

_ "I don't know. This is dangerous. Maybe we should just quit before—" **Assistant**  
_

_ "Didn't I just tell you to be quiet?" **Leol**  
_

_ "It's too hard! I'm so scared that something might happen! I don't want to die! I didn't sign up for this!" **Assistant**  
_

_ "Go away! Shoo! If you won't shut up, leave! Now! I don't want to see your face!" **Leol**  
_

_ "Leol." **Anhel**  
_

_ "Anhel, how unexpected." **Leol**  
_

_ "I heard from Yang about the situation. There's something I left out in my report that I didn't mention." **Anhel**  
_

_ "What is it?" **Leol**  
_

_ "Well, since I have the ability to draw out the real emotions of people, I sensed something with Shui Jing. Since the first time we met, I could feel a lot of guilt and confusion in her. I didn't think it was significant, but after the incident…" **Anhel**  
_

_ "You think she was a traitor from the very start?" **Leol**  
_

_ "I would think you figured it out before I did. But I guess you were blinded by your love for her." **Anhel**  
_

_ "Nonsense! The reason I don't suspect her is because I know her!" **Leol**  
_

_ "Do you? You call her daughter, but yet, how many times have you actually seen her? But even if you did, I don't think it would make much of a difference. The way she turned out, everyone had a role in it. If anyone can help her, it's you. Good luck." **Anhel**  
_

_ "You're going to go?" **Leol**  
_

_ "As much as I have confidence, I wouldn't want to be here when she explodes." **Anhel**  
_

_

* * *

_

_Extraction 72 percent complete…GLITCH…GLITCH_

_ "Hey, he's watching us." **Assistant**  
_

_ "He does that, no worries. Remember to lie to yourself." **Leol**  
_

_ "Ok. Act casual. I'll remember that." **Assistant**  
_

_ "What's in your mind?" **Leol**  
_

_ "Huh? Nothing. I'm not thinking anything." **Assistant**  
_

_ "Fine, then. Enjoy the coffee." **Leol**  
_

_ "…" **Assistant**  
_

_ "What's taking those two so long?" **Leol**  
_

_ "…" **Assistant**  
_

_ "Oh, there they are. James, Narke! Right here!" **Leol**  
_

_ "Leol, what! You're actually out of your lab? I don't believe it! It's the end of the world!" **James**  
_

_ "James, lame jokes would get you nowhere. He who talks is knowledgeable. He who listens is wise. It's simple, really. Not that you'll get it." **Narke**  
_

_ "What are you blabbering about now? You calling me stupid! Last I check, you're the third DEAMer! I don't have to take orders from you." **James**  
_

_ "Hence you're the fool." **Narke**  
_

_ "I'll show you who's the fool when my darkness conquers your light!" **James**  
_

_ "Darkness? Can it really conquer the light? No. It can only hinder the light. But in the end, it is light that conquers all. Therefore, the sun rises even at the darkest point of night." **Narke**  
_

_ "You are going to start making sense right now!" **James**  
_

_ "Guys! We're not here to fight! Quiet down!" **Leol**  
_

_ "Tch. We'll settle this later." **James**  
_

_ "I called the both of you here about Shui Jing. You both were the last to work together with her. And the both of you were also with Jason at the time. I need to know as much details as possible." **Leol**  
_

_ "You know, now that you mention it, those two were pretty close together. They seem like a cute couple." **James**  
_

_ "No, I don't think so. After your mission with her, I eavesdropped on them. She seems genuinely afraid of Jason. As for the reason, I still can't quite put my finger on it." **Narke**  
_

_ "She was afraid of Jason?" **Leol**  
_

_ "Maybe she knew something we don't. The incident is one big mystery. I doubt anyone knows the answer." **Narke**  
_

_ "Hey, Leol. I think, maybe, Jason was using Shui Jing and she found out? Maybe that's why she was so scared." **Assistant**  
_

_ "Whoa, your assistant makes some crack pot theories." **James**  
_

_ "No, he could be right. That's one possibility we can explore. But since it's not in my area, I'll let you figure it out, Leol." **Narke**  
_

_ "Well, I'll go too, enjoy the coffee." **James**  
_

_ "Hey, Leol. What do we do now?" **Assistant**  
_

_ "Let's go back." **Leol**  
_

_

* * *

_

_Extraction 91 percent complete…GLITCH…GLITCH_

_ "Leol. We meet again." **Reina**  
_

_ "Reina? Are you still mad at me?" **Leol**  
_

_ "I'm here to tell you how much of a failure you are." **Reina**  
_

"_What are you saying?" **Leol**  
_

"_I heard what you were doing. Do you remember when Jason came back? After Shui Jing was shocked, he spent the whole time in her room. And guess what I saw. Go on, guess." **Reina**  
_

_ "What? Tell me." **Leol**  
_

_ "They were holding hands." **Reina**  
_

_ "What are you saying?" **Leol**  
_

_ "What I am saying is that you failed to notice Jason was tricking her all along. Irena was right when she told me about you. Your wife was tricked into divorcing you! Your daughter was tricked by a street rat! And Shui Jing turned into a traitor too! Everything crumbled right in front of you! Because of you, she is going to die! You are going to die! Everyone is going to die!" **Reina**  
_

_ "You mean…Jason was… I…" **Leol**  
_

_ "Leol, are you alright? You look a bit pale." **Assistant**  
_

_ "Tell me! Reina! What could I have done?" **Leol**  
_

_ "This!" **Reina**  
_

_ "Ow!" **Leol**  
_

_ "You don't know how satisfying it is to slap you, Leol! I never thought seeing you cry would feel so good to me! Irena was right! You are just a pawn to the Knights! You can't do anything!" **Reina**  
_

_ "Hey! Stop saying things like that right now! He's a great scientist!" **Assistant**  
_

_ "You're the assistant, right. I suggest you stay far away from him if you don't want to die too!" **Reina**  
_

_ "Why you! Leol! Where are you going?" **Assistant**  
_

_ "Leave me alone." **Leol**  
_

_ "Leol! Leol! Open the door! Leol!" **Assistant**  
_

_

* * *

_

_Extraction 92 percent complete…GLITCH…GLITCH_

_ "Commander Yang! There you are! I need your help! It's Leol! He's going nuts again!" **Assistant**  
_

_ "Just leave him alone." **Yang**  
_

_ "Leave him alone! We can't do that! We need to knock some sense back into him!" **Assistant**  
_

_ "I can't do that. I've known Leol for half of a lifetime, and he is finally doing something responsible. He was never focused enough on his marriage or his daughter, and that is why his family fell apart. But for Shui Jing, he is determined not to give up. I cannot stop him from being a man." **Yang**  
_

_ "You're going to let him die just so he can be a man? What kind of friend are you?" **Assistant**  
_

_ "Get out of my way. I'm busy." **Yang**  
_

_ "Fine, if that's how you want to do it! I'll find someone else to help me!" **Assistant**  
_

_ "You don't have the guts to." **Yang**  
_

_

* * *

_

_Extraction 93 percent complete…GLITCH…GLITCH_

_ "So it's still happening?" **Irena**  
_

_ "Yes, that's right." **Assistant**  
_

_ "But Leol didn't mention a single word about it." **Irena**  
_

_ "Um…uh…he instructed me to keep it a secret." **Assistant**  
_

_ "Why would he do that?" **Irena**  
_

_ "Because he didn't want the process to stop and lose Shui Jing." **Assistant**  
_

_ "So why are you telling me now?" **Irena**  
_

_ "He's going nuts. He wouldn't sleep or eat. If this goes on, he'll collapse. I don't want that to happen." **Assistant**  
_

_ "Hmm…A good dog you are. Not loyal enough, but unlike Leol. Defying the Knights. I supposed he can't be left unpunished." **Irena**  
_

_ "What are you doing with that bow?" **Assistant**  
_

_ "One shot is all I need to destroy the cryonic tank. But let's say I aimed it a little off. Would she be intact?" **Irena**  
_

_ "What? No! You can't do that! If she's wounded during the process, her mind would—" **Assistant**  
_

_ "It doesn't matter. We can always reshape her. Her body is all we need. Besides, she would prefer this anyways." **Irena**  
_

_

* * *

_

"It's funny. Even after knowing everything was a lie, you are still real. Are you sure you want to join me? Is it worth it?" **Shui Jing**

"I don't know. The GMs are looking all over for us, as well as the Knights." **Jason**

"Jason, I'm glad you are with me for so long. But if you think it is dangerous, I'll go alone."** Shui Jing**

"No, that's not what I mean. I don't know if it is really worth it for you. If I could touch you, I would stop you and go alone. Whatever you decide to do, I'll have to support you." **Jason**

"To know who I am, it is more than worth it. I just need to know what truth to my life is. I need to know where I came from and who my real family is." ** Shui Jing**

"What if you found more lies? Wouldn't you still be sad?" **Jason**

"There has to be a truth, I believe in that. And I at least know one thing: there are many people in Cnorion who also share my fate. I'm not only going to seek answers, but I also want to destroy the prison. They've been prisoners for far too long." ** Shui Jing**

"I didn't know you cared for others." **Jason**

"I don't. But I know you do." ** Shui Jing**

"You really do know a lot about me." **Jason**

"I don't. Everything could still be a lie. So I trust my feelings by trusting you. There's no one else I can agree with. There's something I want to know, though. Like you said, we'll be hunted by both sides. If something happens to you—" ** Shui Jing**

"For you, I'll live. I live, just for you. I promise, I'll run and stay alive, so that we can find each other. Will you promise to do the same? Live, for me?" **Jason**

"Of course." ** Shui Jing**

* * *

_Extraction 94 percent complete__…GLITCH…GLITCH_

_ "No!" **Leol**  
_

_ "Leol!" **Irena**  
_

_ "You're bleeding!" **Assistant**  
_

_ "Assistant! You backstabber! I told you not to tell anyone!" __**Leol**_

_ "Worry about that later! Your arm is bleeding!" **Assistant**  
_

_ "You should listen to him. Don't worry, I won't touch her." __**Irena**_

_ "I was just looking for you. It was a good thing your secretary told me where to look." __**Leol**_

_ "My, she sure can't keep secrets, can she?" __**Irena**_

_ "You were the last to see Shui Jing. I'm out of options here. You need to tell me anything she told you." __**Leol**_

_ "And why would I disclose that?" __**Irena**_

_ "Because we're running out of time! I'm pretty sure you wouldn't want to die with me!" __**Leol**_

_ "Out of my way, I'll end this in one shot!" __**Irena**_

_ "No you won't!" __**Leol**_

_ "Are you crazy? She'll kill us all. Assistant, you do it." __**Irena**_

_ "Um…how can the both of you be so calm? I'm—" **Assistant**  
_

_ "You wouldn't dare! I'm a Night Lord! I can stop the both of you at the same time!" __**Leol**_

_ "Fine. Don't think you win, though. I'm just telling you her last words. That's all." __**Irena**_

_ "I'm watching you." __**Leol**_

* * *

_Extraction 95 percent complete__…GLITCH…GLITCH_

"_You killed my family!"** Irena, repeating Shui Jing's final words  
**_

_

* * *

_

"No, Shui Jing. You don't have a family for me to kill." **Irena to Shui Jing before Shui Jing's defeat and capture**

* * *

_Extraction 96 percent complete__…GLITCH…GLITCH_

"_Shut up! I've had enough of your lies!"** Irena**__**, repeating Shui Jing's final words**_

_

* * *

_

"How do you expect to defeat me? You can't even hit me." **Irena to Shui Jing before Shui Jing's defeat and capture**

* * *

_Extraction 97 percent complete__…GLITCH…GLITCH_

"_I won't let you use me ever again!" **Irena**__**, repeating Shui Jing's final words**__  
_

_

* * *

_

"You think you can just kill you self? You are our property. That means we determine your lives. Not you." **Irena to Shui Jing before Shui Jing's defeat and capture**

* * *

_Extraction 98 percent complete__…GLITCH…GLITCH_

"_I'll live to kill you!" **Irena**__**, repeating Shui Jing's final words**_

_

* * *

_

"We'll see about that." **Irena to Shui Jing before Shui Jing's defeat and capture**

* * *

_Extraction 99 percent complete…ERROR_

"_Is that really all that she told you?" **Leol**  
_

"_Right down to the last word. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a job to finish." **Irena**  
_

"_No, wait!" **Leol**  
_

"_We only have one percent left, Leol! Even I must admit I'm afraid to die!" **Irena**  
_

"_Just wait a minute! I'll figure out—" **Leol**  
_

_ "ERROR! ERROR! ERROR! MEMORY EXTRACTION STOPPED! EMERGENCY SHUTDOWN INNITIATED!" **Computer**  
_

_ "She's having a spasm! The vitals are dropping! She's going to die!" **Assistant**  
_

_ "Get her out of that thing right now!" **Irena**  
_

_ "We can't! The computer is frozen!" **Assistant**  
_

_ "Out of my way!" **Yang**  
_

_ "Yang! Don't destroy it!" **Leol**  
_

_ "What did you do?" **Assistant**  
_

_ "Hey! Assistant! Worry about that later! She's in cardiac arrest!" **Leol**  
_

_

* * *

_

"What? What is this place? It's so bright." **Shui Jing**

"Shui Jing!" **Jason's image**

"Who are you?" **Shui Jing**

"Did you get some cold stuff—" **Jason's image**

"Huh? What's—no!" **Shui Jing**

"He's disappearing. Shui Jing, everyone's going to disappear." **Jason**

"Huh? It's you! How do you know my name?" **Shui Jing**

"You don't remember me now." **Jason**

"Am I supposed to remember you?" **Shui Jing**

"No. It's better if you forget about me and everyone else, too." **Jason**

"Everyone else?" **Shui Jing**

"Mae and Edward and Sean and Sarah and everyone else, they've been causing you too much pain. But today, you would be reborn again. You don't have to remember us, but you have to live for us. You are the only family we have left. You mustn't die yet. Oh, I'm disappearing too. It's time for me to join the others." **Jason**

"Wait! Before you go! Tell me your name, please!" **Shui jing**

"What's the point? You'll forget about it, and me." **Jason**

"I feel there is something important about you that I need to know. I want to reborn knowing who you are. Or at least know before everything ends." **Shui Jing**

* * *

_"Hang in there, Shui Jing! You can't die yet! We need you!" **Leol**  
_

_ "Leol, stop, please." **Yang**  
_

_ "Shut up, Yang! If you didn't come in and break the machine, she might be still alive!" **Leol**  
_

_ "If I didn't stop it in time, her powers would break free! She would end all of our lives! She would end her life!" **Yang**  
_

_ "Even so! I might find a way to stop her! Now it's too late! You killed Shui Jing!" **Leol**  
_

_ "It's not like she'll fire you for failing to save her." **Irena**  
_

_ "That's not the point, Irena! She's a part of me! She's a life! She needs to live!" **Leol**  
_

_

* * *

_

"Everything is fading. My name? Is it really that important? I really wish I could've been with you. You are lucky to get another chance. My name, will you really remember that?" **Jason**

"I will! I promise! Even if I'm reborn, I won't forget your name!" **Shui Jing**

"thank you." **Jason**

* * *

_"Who…where…who am I? Why is everything so…fuzzy?" **Shui Jing**  
_

_ "Shui Jing? Oh! Oh thank god you're alive!" **Leol**  
_

_

* * *

_

_"jason cerge"_

_

* * *

_**Note: In the final scene, when everything was bright, Shui Jing was in a dream/having a hallucination. Or maybe...Jason had something to do with it...**

**A/N: **So...would anyone like a Valentine's Day story based on this couple?_  
_


	4. Extra, Author's Commentary

**A/N: **Welcome everyone, to the author's commentary. I decided to make this section for three main purposes. One, it serves as a quick summary for Crystal Flowers whenever I need a review. Two, since the plot is confusing to a certain extent, this is to answer the questions that arose amidst the confusion. Three, I noticed a lot of authors struggle with continuing their stories and I hope that this might be a little inspirational. So without further ado, let's start.

* * *

**Story Concept**

Mmm...the concept of the story. Well, this story started as an idea in my head two years ago. At first, I thought, "a love story where the main characters can't touch or kiss each other would be so cute." So now that I got the idea in my head, what do I do next? I needed characters. Shui Jing was a prime choice, because when I wrote about her (in some story I didn't post and in Finding What's Lost), she was a mysterious Knight in armor. That really got me hooked onto her, because I always wondered who is the girl under the mask. Why is she in the Knights? What could her story be? With her, I got the main girl, so all that's left is a boy. I created the Lightning DEAMer for that purpose. He fits perfectly, since he can't touch her and he is a DEAMer. They were made for each other.

When I started the story, I didn't know what direction I wanted to take it, specifically how it begins and how it ends. I decided the Lightning DEAMer had to die. But that creates a problem, since Shui Jing would have to stay as a Knight. So then, would this story takes place in the future or in the past? How would the Lightning DEAMer die? By who? I needed a way to shove her back to the past, so I juggled around with the idea of memory. At first, the idea seems unworkable, because that would seem too forced. It sounds like I built that in just to have people pity her. I held the story back a year later. By that time I wrote Finding What's Lost, and introduced Cnorion. Cnorion, by the Knights definition, is a prison to house people who are "special." I didn't put two and two together immediately, but I did use Cnorion as a starting point for my story. I wanted to expand the concept of Cnorion, and express my ideas of it: a cocoon concealing the beautiful butterfly.

So, with characters, setting, beginning and end, I'm missing one last thing. I needed plot. It's everything in between, and it'll help me understand where things are headed. Problem was, I don't know what happens to everything in between. Because of that, I didn't force myself to write it until I had a good idea. After summer school, though, I felt I want to make a tribute to my experience there. It was a marvelous place, and I really enjoyed my time there. Therefore, I wanted to convey my happiness onto Shui Jing. Because of that and her affinity for snow, I made Shui Jing into a cold, lonely girl in the beginning. She reminds me a lot of when I was in middle school, and I used those memories to construct her thinking process. When Shui Jing was "released" is similar to when I was "released" from the stage in my life where I was a little...angry teen-ish. And Jason's role in all of this, is supposed to be her rational side. Jason is the key for her to become the traitor, so he'll be one himself.

But Jason stopped being enough for me when Shui Jing starts questioning him. I mean, a guy coming into your room in the middle of the night and telling you everything was a lie. That's complete BS that no one would believe. So, I needed some other way to trigger Shui Jing's suffering. I wanted her to suffer, not because I don't like her character, but because the Knights are evil. So the most evil thing I believe (second only to wiping your memories) is to have Shui Jing kill all the happiness she has. I jumped the gore though, and only have her kill people who were mentioned: Mae and Sarah. After that, I want to immediately set herself up for being a DEAMer.

Now, onto part two. This part was inspired by Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days, right down to the storyline. It was a coincidence for me when I first touched the game (my friends peer pressured me to try the DS, even though I'm too busy to even watch TV). I don't want to introduce random characters that I'll never mention again, so I needed the DEAMers to have a closer structure. That means, they only work with each other, and no one else. So I reused all the DEAMers I have so far. The only really new one is Narke (James was written in an unposted story). But even Narke, I planned him a long time ago, too. So following 358/2 days, I gave Shui Jing missions, and partners to assist her. I originally wanted each of the DEAMers to affect Shui Jing's thinking, but at last I didn't do that. There were too many DEAMers to influence her—it'll only end in one big mess. So I kept it short and sweet. A minimum of three missions. Training with Narke, Jason's return, and her departure. And to follow part one, I emphasize her relationships to the people around her, but not only family and friends, but also enemies. Because she's a sorry girl who knows nothing about the Outside, she doesn't feel like anyone would hurt her. But, in the end, she realized, everything was hurting her. Her guilt was just the thing for the finale, as well as Jason's dedication towards her. They both return to Cnorion but met foe along the way. And in a final battle, Jason perishes.

And, Shui Jing can only touch him after he died.

Of course I ended it openly. I didn't want to completely turn her into a puppet for the Knights. I left a final life line, aka the Snow Rose, for her, so that maybe she could have a happy ending.

* * *

**Before I begin, I would like to say it is so awesome to have a bunch of guy friends who have a grocery list of cool names and characters from video games. You guys are the best when I need to make up random characters!  
**

**Characters-Main  
**

**Shui Jing Hua: **As mentioned before, she is in the story because I wanted to know more about her. Not much else to say. I can really relate to her, because it's first person and her story is modeled after my experiences. As far as her name goes, I wanted a bit of a cultural mix in the story. Shui means water, Jing means crystal (bright or smart), and Hua means flower. It was meant as a pun for her abilities to control ice. The flower part was made up to show her as a girl (like Hua Mulan). In any case, Shui Jing is considered "special" because her mind is fragile to the point where it can be artificially erased and replaced. And as a side effect of her special DNA, she has a sleep disorder and an affinity for snow.

**Jason Cerge:** Jason... Well, you know where he comes from, so nothing else to say. He is supposed to be a rebel who know things. A year ago, when he was in Cnorion, he met Azure (Finding What's Lost) and knew everything. A year later, when he is released, he tried to warn Shui Jing through hints during the night visit. After he was kicked out of the room, he saw Mae crying, and found out about "love." He didn't love Shui Jing, but rather was interested. Love can make someone cry and change someone drastically. After the second test, Jason's words were cut off. It was supposed to be "I love you." But at that time, he wanted to use it as a strategy to stop her. That ultimately failed, so he tried it again before the Ludibrium mission. Also, Jason became a DEAMer (he knew he would be a pawn) so that he could stay close to Shui Jing. So...anyways, Jason is a sweet boy who used the wrong methods. And he hates being tricked. As for his name, I got Jason from a friend, and Cerge from this: Surge of electricity - Surge - Serge - Cerge.

**Leol Anderson: **Mmm, Leol. Yes, he's a reused character from FWL (Finding What's Lost). I didn't feel like making up tons of characters, so there you go. And also, he was killed off so briefly in FWL. He have to have more potential than that. So, back story. I only intended him to be a father to Shui Jing, but then I decided to think further. And then I got it. He's a scientist working for the Knights. Because of that he neglects his family, causing his family to neglect him. His lack of family love caused him to look elsewhere, and so he takes a liking to Shui Jing (and later on, Shirley). I guess, they needed each other, really. It's sad how they were separated because of stupid adult games. Well, since Leol is an important character, I gave him a large role in extractions. Leol came from Leol from a character in Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicle: Crystal Bearers. Anderson came from...well it's weird. I always imagined my future boss to be named Mr. Anderson. Crazy yes. As for the design (tall, blond), I took ideas from Final Fantasy XIII. Specifically the character: Snow.

* * *

**Characters-Part One**

**Reina: **Alright, Reina! Out of everyone, she has to by my favorite supporting character. Besides her back story, I really want to be her. Smart, agreeable, nice, really nice, a bit too nice... Ok yeah, Reina is a nice character, until Irena turned her into a sourpuss. But even then she is still my favorite. She's fierce and stepped on Leol's pride. I feel happy that she can get over Leol and show him who's boss. In the beginning, I made her into the secretary archetype, and gave a sort of mother to Shui Jing. And well...that's all there is to say. Her name was really romantic in my ears, so I gave her Reina (as well as Renee for a while. It's a romantic name too.) The inspiration for her from Jihl Nabaat in Final Fantasy XIII.

**Mae: **Shui Jing's best friend for her to kill. Yeah, that's it. I gave her a wild personality to foil Shui Jing's. And I asked a friend for a random girl name and got Mae.

**Ryan Sun:** Hmm, not much else to say either. I'll explain his back story later. As for his character, I got him to be that annoying, think-he's-smart kid in class. Boys, they always try to show off. And he has a bit of anger in him. Ryan came from a friend of mines. But Ryan is too common, so I didn't bother for permission. Sun is a pun on his powers. When Ryan visited Leol, he was the DEAMer of Fire.

**Kyra S. Mendoza: **Um...asked a friend for a random girl name. She's mostly filler for the six student team in the end of part one. Her last name is again from a friend. As for her character, Kyra is a nerd who likes girls and is quite strong.

**Edward Garcia: **Filler character. Pun on Twilight. The maid bit, and getting Mae pregnant was to make him sound perverse. Moving on.

**Teresa B. Garcia: **Filler character. Might as well put a twin in my story. No, this doesn't mean they are twins. No one knows that. Not even me. The only ones who knows are Teresa and the Knights. Teresa is another random name I asked for.

**Sonata Aydin: **Inspired by Anwar from Avalon Code, I made him the silent swordsman from the desert. Sonata is to follow a pun that I'll reveal in my next stories. His last name if you look it up, is a city in the Middle East. It's to give him a foreign feel.

**Irena: **Guess where she came from, go ahead, guess. (Hint: In MSea, she is named Irina.) Ok, so Irena. She is, in my head, more than just a job instructor. From my first look of her, I knew she has intentions. And after influence from Hong Kong Dramas, I made her be a sarcastic women seeking power in the Knight's hierarchy. In terms of her position, she is the Empress's left hand, with Neinheart as the right. While Neinheart is closer to the Empress politically, Irena knows her personally. Even so, she needed more power. So she recruited Reina, by telling her things about Leol being pathetic. Also, since Leol is Neinheart's pawn placed in Cnorion to oppose her, Irena decided to use Reina to crush Leol. That's why she was so eager to punish Shui Jing. And that's why Leol warned his assistant about her. And, she is the teacher that taught all the students. Mmm, yeah, Irena is mean.

* * *

**Characters-Part Two**

**Gaelizulge Narke, DEAMer of Light: **If you google Gaelizulge, it'll correct it as Gaeilge, an Irish language. And Narke comes from narcissist. While, not Irish himself, his plant race (aka Breath), is green. And green is Irish shamrocks. So...yeah... And people associated with green are narcissist to me (lol Irena), so yeah... Although it didn't turn out that way, I made him into a philosopher, and used a book of puns, idioms, quotes, ect. for his lines. Someone told me he sounds like a comic book villain. Couldn't agree more, I'm afraid. The idea for a plant race comes from the Pokemon Gardevior and Gallade. Notice how I borrowed the idea of hearts sticking out of the body.

**Anhel Lluvia, DEAMer of Water: **Ahh, my regular Spanish character. He's inspired from Tidus from Final Fantasy X, but instead of being lover-boy to Yuna, he loves his teacher. Anhel is how you would pronounce Angel in Spanish. Yes, the G makes a H sound. And Lluvia (pronounced yuvia, double L's make a Y) means rain. I originally wanted to call him Angel Rain, but I wanted to make it sound more exotic. Overall, the best way to describe him would be a kid with a temper problem, but a really romantic dedication to his fellows. Too bad his teacher dumped him for someone else (FWL). Together with Yang, he betrayed Ludibrium and the GMs for power. In Anhel's case, he needed power for protecting Cathy (his teacher) from the bullies.

**Yang Ignotch: **Inspired from Yaag Rosch from Final Fantasy XIII. Need I say more? You already know where his name and personality comes from (and his hair). Well, in case you don't know him, Yaag is a tough man dedicated to his country. In Yang's case, it is Ludibrium. He betrayed Ludibrium in hopes of gaining more power to spread goodwill to more people. But when he realized it was a mistake, and felt bad about abandoning Ludibrium (he was previously the Captain of the Guards). Personally, Yang is good friends with Leol, knowing him since childhood, and frequently spars with him.

**James Beckham, DEAMer of Darkness: **Mmm...well James is a common named I pulled from nowhere. Beckham is a last minute last name I stole, cough, I mean borrowed from renown soccer player, David Beckham. David is the name of someone really close to me (that's how I thought of Beckham). Personality-wise, James is rude, obnoxious, selfish. James's appearance in the story is really just a cameo. His role, I guess, is to pull the philosopher back to earth. Oh, and he is the current Captain of the Guards for Ludibrium. The Knights are pretty sneaky, eh?

**Neinheart: **He is only mentioned once so...yeah. All I'll say is that he is as power hungry as Irena and intents to fight her politically for power.

* * *

**Before I answer anything, let me say this: to all the cool girl friends out there: I love you all for your support! Talking with all of you really helped to improve all the relationships in the story! And the kind of dialogue you can make, oh lord, they are the most beautiful conversations I've ever heard. Thank you, social butterflies.**

**Questions and Answers-Plot and Characters  
**

**Q: Did Jason ever loved Shui Jing?**

A: Mmm, that's a very interesting question. Truthfully, I don't know. I guess, this is something for the readers to decide. It's just like Shui Jing said, they are teenagers who doesn't know anything and therefore, they probably don't know what love really means (according to my mother). The most definite thing I can say is that they both have feelings for each other. Whether that feeling is love or something else is for them to decide.**  
**

**Q: Why did Leol give Shui Jing a baseball during picture day?**

A: Ahh. As I mentioned before, Leol's relationships with his family isn't too good. His daughter discovered the dress he prepared for Shui Jing and blackmailed him by saying he has another women besides mom. So to cover it up, Leol allowed his daughter to get the dress, and in the last minute, Leol pick up a baseball in his room. He knew Shui Jing would like it because she likes playing catch, and she'll probably like any gift.

**Q: Hey, Reina suddenly drastically changed and hated Leol! What happened?**

A: To explain this story, this goes back to when Shui Jing figured out Narke wasn't human. During that time, Narke wanted to reconcile with her, but didn't want to do it personally. Anhel, being the good boy he is, tells Reina to do so instead. At that same time, Reina has a date with Leol, which explains Reina's happiness at the time. Little did she know, Leol asked her out to tell her to give up on him. Even though Leol's not very good with his family, his honor and pride wouldn't let him cheat. Reina was crushed, and after a few words from Irena, regained her original personality. Originally, Reina was a sad character with a dark past, but she tries to avoid it by acting nice. So that's why Reina stopped wearing high heels right afterward.

**Q: Dark past? Care to elaborate?**

A: Yes, of course. Before Reina was a Knight, she was the daughter of an aristocrat. But during a war ten years ago, her whole family was killed, and she was captured. Soon she was forced to be a slave until she was fifteen. During that time, she was called into the general's chambers, and after years of mental and physical abuse, went crazy and killed the general with a pair of scissors and her bare hands. When the guards went in, they were so horrified by the blood that they stood while Reina walked away unharmed. For the next four years, Reina learned a bit about swordplay (and killed her master because he would eventually take advantage of her), and switched alliances between local gangs. Eventually, when things were too dangerous for her, she would either escape or kill whoever was going to use her. She promised herself she would never be used by anyone again.

In the end, she bit off more than she can chew when she tried to betray a baron. She was punished and tortured and eventually left to die in the snow. That was when Irena and the Empress found her and rescued her. In two years, she became one of the circle of five (job instructors) and a DEAMer, making her one of the most powerful person in the Knights. But after meeting Leol, she wanted to stop all the gore and fighting and live a peaceful life. They allowed her to do a secretary job, and she started to wear glasses, heels, and make-up. Of course...you know how that turned out. After Irena convinced her that Leol is a stupid idiot, she let her hair down and picked up her sword again.**  
**

**Q: Whut! Ryan taught Kyra suicide! Wtf!**

A: Calm down! That wasn't even a question. So to explain. Mmm, well, there weren't many clues in the story because Ryan hid it too well. He secretly loved Kyra for a long time, because unlike him, she was always good with the teacher, nice, smart, and have a deep inner beauty. But since Kyra and Sarah is in a lesbian relationship with each other, Ryan decided that it was enough if he could be friends with Kyra. He covered up Sarah and Kyra's relationship, and tried to pretend he didn't know anything about it. After a while, this wasn't enough for Ryan, because he believed Kyra was using him like a fool. Eventually, his love for her turned into hate, and after Sarah died, Ryan was enraged. In his mind, he thought, "not only is a women better than me, but a dead person too." Ryan wanted Kyra to die, and in her mentally fragile state, convinced Kyra to cut herself in order to see Sarah again. That was why Ryan was the second person on the scene. He felt remorse for what he did and wanted to stop her. Too bad he was one step too late.**  
**

**Q: Is there anything else you didn't tell us? Like about Edward and Mae?**

A: Mmm, well. There's not much to say about them. Well, at the same time when Jason was arguing with Shui Jing in her room, Mae was hinting to Edward about her pregnancy. Edward didn't get the hint, and Mae was mad at him for "no reason." After both parties finished arguing, Jason found Mae, and Edward asked Shui Jing for help. That's why Jason knew about their pregnancy.

**Q: You didn't mention anything about Serenade! And Ballade! What about them?**

A: I'm planning to reuse them later, so I won't say much just yet. Just so you'll know, Serenade, Ballade, and Sonata are all music terms.**  
**

**Q: Who is Zachary? Why does Narke know him?**

A: Zachary and Narke were both GMs and best friends in the past. But after Narke's betrayal, they both mostly forgotten about each other.**  
**

**Q: Wait! If Narke is the third DEAMer, and James is somewhere above, and Anhel is below who else is DEAMer?**

A: If you didn't read the above, I'll say it here. Reina is actually a DEAMer. And James isn't actually above Narke. That's why when James mentioned about Narke being third, Narke replied, "Hence you're the fool." According to my notes, the order of the DEAMers are

1: Blank. I'm reserving it so that I'll have time to conceive someone really bad-ass.

2: Reina, DEAMer of ...I'm not saying it yet.

3: Narke, DEAMer of Light

4: Anhel, DEAMer of Water

5: James, DEAMer of Darkness

6: Shui Jing, DEAMer of Ice

7: Jason, DEAMer of Lightning

8: Ryan, DEAMer of Fire

And then there is Jason's replacement, Kyle, who became DEAMer at um...I'm not sure.

**Q: Hey, you mentioned about leaving the ending open so that they could have a happy ending. Does that mean there will be a part three? What would it be about?**

A: I don't want to be too certain about a possible part three. It is in it's conceptual stages. I want to give the last part a lot of time, years maybe, before I start writing it. As for the plot, I don't want to say much about that, since I don't know if I'll write it or not.

* * *

**Questions and Answers: About the Author**

**Q: What are your sources of inspiration for the story?**

A: If you didn't read the above, I'll say it here. Part one is based on my experiences in summer school. Part two was majorly influenced by Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days. There is the idea of daily missions, memory, and one of the main characters dying at the end. The extraction sequences with Leol and his assistant are inspired from the beginning of Kingdom Hearts 2 when the main character's memories are being restored. It had the same number percent complete computer screen. Also some characters were inspired from/based after/ripped off from characters in the recent FF games and some other places. My close friends were a big help in helping me organize the cast of characters.

**Q: Do you listen to music when you write?**

A: Yeah, I actually do. Most of the time I don't because the lyrics get my confused. I write after I listen to some songs. As far as I can remember, I listened to Namine and Ventus from the Kingdom Hearts soundtrack (no lyrics, so its a big plus) and a Cantonese song named Please Say by Nikki Chow and Kevin Cheng (don't judge me). I can totally imagine Shui Jing and Jason singing that, lol (again, don't judge me, lmao).

**Q: I see you used some foreign languages in your story. Does that mean there are Chinese and Spaniards in your stories?**

A: Uh...yes and no. They can be, and are, Chinese (Shui Jing) and Spanish (Anhel), but I wouldn't refer to them as such. Some people might find it lame that I'm putting something from our world, into a fantasy story, but if you think about it, the language of the story (English) is from our world. In any case, to explain the Chinese and Spaniards, I'll say this. During the time when Sharnia is still big and powerful, the people are mostly Sharnians (aka Chinese in my stories). Then the people from Orbis (Europeans) came over. That's pretty much how I can logically explain my uses of foreign languages. So Eastern languages are like an ancient Sharnia language, and Latin languages are brought over from Orbis and such.

**Q: Did you encounter any difficulties when writing?**

A: Fight scenes, definitely. There are only two true battle scenes, the third test, and the DEAMer fight, both finales in their respective parts. For the third test, I had to redo it...twice...because over and over again I couldn't pace the story in an exciting way. At first I wanted to have Shui Jing run from the fight because she was too afraid, until the last minute when everyone else is down. But that didn't turn out too well. There were way too much details and the pacing was too even. Also I felt Shui Jing wasn't pulling her weight. So with really generous help from my beta-reader (thanks marco), I completely reworked the scene to what it is now. As for the fight against Anhel...well I ran out of things to write. It wasn't supposed to be a dynamic scene that represents anything. And I don't know how to make the fight flashy enough. So I need to cut it short, too short for my liking. Other than that, the other difficulties I had were transitions. Since the format is pretty strict, I couldn't cut off the scenes at certain places to show the passage of time or to withhold suspense.**  
**

**Q: Most of the story is pretty much repetition. Do you think you used it a little too much?**

A: Well, at times I felt I **didn't** repeated things enough. But since my beta-readers didn't have problem with it, I decided it was used enough to heighten the story, but not too much to create annoyance.

**Q: Does that mean you are satisfied with the story?**

A: For my current set of skills, this is the best I can do with this story. And since I used all I can and tried my best, I am extremely proud to publish this story. Maybe, when I'm a lot better at writing, I'll rewrite it and make it better. If I do, I would want to give Shui Jing and Jason an actual relationship, or more hints involving their relationship. And I would also want to extremely redo part two. I don't really like how I expressed Shui Jing in that part and some of the descriptions and transitions were horrible.

**Q: Is there anything you want to say to others?**

A: As a matter of fact, I do. I want to tell everyone that, writing a story isn't hard at all. All you really need to write a story is an idea. But in order to actually keep on writing and finish the story, you need more than an idea. You need a lot of time, and planning. You need to know where you want your story to go, and what lessons would be taught in the end. You need purpose, and you need perseverance. I've been through stages before where I have an idea and rush at it without thinking about it. When I do that, I can only write so much. But if I know what happens through every segment of the plot, and what my vision of the ending would be, then I know I can complete the story. Also, I dedicate myself to only one story at a time, so that way, if I have multiple stories in my head (and I do), I can have time to think about other stories while I'm focusing on one. It's a lot less stressing and gives me time to think things through. One thing I really like about my stories is how they are all interconnected. One event leads to another, and things all fall into place in a series of seemingly coincidences.

_When every coincidence have an explanation, and every event in the world is actually connected, that is fate._

Or a butterfly flapping its wings (butterfly effect). There is one tip I can really give to writers. When you are stuck and you don't know what to do, don't ask people (unless you need help on characters or dialogue). Think of how you want your story to end, or anything you want, and write write write. Writing pointless things can get your fingers moving and your brain circulating. It'll help get your ideas straight and the flow going. Then you can delete all the unless things you wrote down._  
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